


Bop

by Ashratherose



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha Keith, Getting Together, Homophobic Language, Hurt Lance, Long road to recovery, M/M, Omega Lance, Our boys are a little thick, Post Season 6, Trigger Warnings, based over 4 phoebs, doubts, even with scents to help them, homophobic actions, not traditional omegaverse, omega dynamics, pining.... looooooooots of pining, self hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-14 22:50:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 61,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15399273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashratherose/pseuds/Ashratherose
Summary: After crashing Red in the middle of nowhere, Lance eats the only herb on planet, causing his body to go through some pretty big changes...The pining is real... Lance gets stuck in hospital and the pining... the pining from both our boys gives me life...Posted under BOP on tumblr





	1. Chapter 1

Fly Red they said. It'll be fine, they said. It's not like you're going to die... yeah right. Lance had shown them. He'd showed them real good... by dying... aaaaand coming back. So did it really count still? At least when Shiro died, he'd become one with Black, and he'd got a shiny new body. All Lance got was darkness and a while shit ton of awkwardness between him and Allura... no, scratch that. A whole lot of awkwardness between him and everyone... which might just be why he'd been marooned on the same quiznakking planet for the last phoeb, it felt like a phoeb... he didn't really know, it probably want, but he did know that he was stuck with no signs of rescue and no way off. Hot on the heels of Lotor's defeat, Sendak had reared his ugly head. Without the castle though, this whole defending the universe thing had become a whole heap more dangerous... and slower... way slower. The plan to return to Earth was now on hold... which he was bitter over. He felt shunned by the team, like a puzzle piece that had some how been shoved in the wrong box. Thanks to Sendak, they'd made Olkarion their temporary home. Earth still just as far away as it'd been since they first came out to space, and Lance hated it. He wanted to go home. He wanted to sunbake. He wanted to eat ice cream and go surfing. He wanted to see all his family. He wanted to hug his mum... instead, he was stuck with a busted arm, a badly healed leg, what felt like a chest full of broken ribs and a persistent cough that never really left... and then there was that whole other thing that happened.

Forming Voltron, he'd had a bad feeling, an almost sick feeling. But he'd been getting that every time he was floating space lately. Sendak had sent a squad to attack Olkarion and to undermine the coalition. So they'd suited up, kicked some Galra arse and formed Voltron, only, something had happened. Red had panicked and a blast had blown them apart. Thrown into an uncontrollable spin, Red had bounced off Green, Pidge screaming at him over his incompetency... and right into a closing wormhole Lance honest had no idea how wormholes actually worked, but he found his comms cutting out as he was hurtled into some distant corner of the Galaxy. He hadn't been able to right Red in time. His lion had crashed, the ground around him an ashen mess when he'd come too. If that had been all he'd had to deal with, he would have found a way. Despite seeming mostly ok, after a very brief and painful check, Red was offline and his body... it wasn't great. He might have... kind of... maybe eaten some weird herb that had survived the fire. In his defence, he was starving,. The planet was like 90 percent gravelly sand, and rocks, with like a handful of weird purple trees. Other than that one herb, he hadn't found anything other than the trees... and eating their bark wasn't working out well... So, he'd eaten it. He didn't think things through, and now he was paying the price for the tiny one bite meal. It felt like his stomach was dissolving, a constant fever left him hallucinating... or he might have hit his head. He wasn't great at this whole trauma thing... Trust him to crash land on the part of the planet without edible vegetation. Now he stuck. Waiting for someone to come rescue him, which was no longer as easy as pulling up Red's signal on the castle's holoscreens, opening a wormhole and just hopping over. Nope. Due to distance, they might not even be able to find her signal. She'd crashed so hard she'd gone off line, there might not even be a signal to find...

Yeah. He'd had more than enough time to over think absolutely every possible outcome, and even his stick drawing of Pidge agreed with him that he was completely screwed. Stick Hunk had been a little more encouraging, at least he hadn't mocked him for eating bark, not like Pidge had. Allura wasn't talking to him. Keith and Shiro were off training together. Romelle was making googlee eyes at Keith, so she was no go. Coran... stick Coran. His buddy. Coran was the only one he could talk to, pretty much because he hadn't figured out what Coran would be doing if he was stuck in this situation. He'd get sad, then determined, then angry, then sad, then run around trying to cheer everyone up... but with them all doing their own thing, it was hard for Coran to get through to them all... so Coran mostly just sat on the wall he was drawn on and watched Lance sleep. Being alone meant a looooot of sleeping, and a lot of sleeping in. It wasn't like he'd had a bed time on the castle, but he still liked to get enough sleep to keep away the bags under his eyes. Being stuck out here alone meant his usually beauty routine had hell. It took a lot of work to keep himself looking as good as he had, and now all the persistent blood and grime on his skin had ruined his hard work... it was enough to give him a headache... or it would have done if the pounding in his head would ease off for two damn ticks. When he got back to Olkarion, he was taking a varga long shower, followed by another varga soaking in the bath, and then he was sleeping for a whole movement. No matter what anyone said.

 

*  
Keith was angry. He was angry with himself. He knew things were shaky with the team, and he could feel something was off when they'd formed Voltron, but he'd been too focused on everything else to realise their bond was too shaky to hold. All it'd taken was one blow to send them flying. One blow to send Lance flying from his sights. One blow for Pidge to crash back to Olkarion. He and Black were communicating on a much deeper level, and he'd completely forgotten the others weren't there. Pidge had landed bad, breaking her wrist on impact. If that had been him and Black, he was sure Black would have been able to right herself before she hit the planet's surface. Down two Paladin's, they hadn't been able to stop the battleship and go after Lance. The wormhole vanishing before he could make it there after they'd destroyed the ship, and now Lance was lost out there... wherever there was.

The team was in a bad way, and as the leader it fell on his shoulders. He'd left them when they'd needed him. He'd been gone for two years and he hadn't even realised his brother had died. He'd fallen for all of Kuron's lies. He'd left his team with the clone and now the dynamic was completely wrong. He'd thought that on the return trip to Earth they'd have time to all sit down and talk, but the universe had kept them here, and that talk had never happened. After what happened with Shiro, he couldn't lose Lance too. They'd come too far... though Lance had barely spoken two words to him since he'd come back, and when he did, his smile never reached his eyes... not like it used to. Something was very much up with Lance, and he'd wanted to talk about it, because he felt it went further and deeper than just things with Allura not working out and the abuse he took from Shiro. Shiro had apologised to Lance, but being hit and constantly blamed by the man you'd idolised had to hurt. If this had happened before he'd left to find his mother, he'd never have been able to find the words to have the conversation that needed to be had, but being with her... being with her meant he'd been able to work through things he couldn't before. Shiro had been a substitute for his father. He'd loved him in away he hadn't understood. A frustrating kind of love that wasn't quite romantic, so he hadn't known what to call it. Now he understood. He was his dad in Shiro. He wanted Shiro to be his dad, because his dad had left him  
and Shiro had promised he never would... but Shiro wasn't his dad. They were completely different and relying on Shiro didn't mean loving his father any less. No. Shiro was his brother. Shiro had reached out his hand when he was lost and guided him. He was truly grateful to have him in his life, and now understood that the love he felt for him was that of a brother loving a brother.

Staring down at the star chart spread across the length of the table, Keith was looking at the section circled in red. Pidge and Hunk had put their heads together, and after movements, this was the area they felt Lance would be in. The only problem was that even pushing Black, it would still take just over a movement to get out there. He'd have to stop regularly to let his lions core charge back up, and once he got there, there was no guarantee Lance would even be in the area. There was also the constant threat that Sendak would come back to finish the job. If he took Black by himself and left Hunk, Pidge and Allura to guard Olkarion, they could very well be hurt without him... but if they went with him, they couldn't form Voltron... looking up to him, Allura and Shiro both stood straighter, Shiro doing the talking for the pair  
"Keith, talk to me. What are you thinking?"  
"I was thinking we can't afford to split our forces, we can't leave the Coalition or the Olkari without protection, but we are not leaving Lance out there. Not when he could be hurt and he's been alone for so long"  
"No ones saying we leave Lance"  
"If I take Black, will the Rebel forces be able to help here?"  
"Pidge has already contacted Matt. He's aware of the situation"  
"Do they have anyone in the area? Anyone closer than we are?"  
"No. That section of space is abandoned. Zarkon drained the resources, he massacred the races there. Ryner and I were discussing it this morning"  
"So... we need to move"  
"Keith, we'll handle this. Black can move faster than any of the other lions right now. We've finally found where he is, so bring him home. Take an Olkari team with you. They can provide medical assistance"  
"No. If something goes wrong, you'll need their help. I'll take Yorak..."  
"Will that be enough?"  
"It's going to have to be"  
"Alright. We'll have everything prepared here for when you return. Bring him home"

Pushing Black as hard as he dared, Keith reached the quadrant of space in just over 8 quintants. Despite the star map, it seemed even sparser out here than dots had indicated. Each planet a fair distance from the other, and all a cold dull grey... somewhere he'd never live to be stuck alone. He'd never had problem with being alone before Voltron, but now... now they were family in a messed up kind of a way, and Lance... for all his annoyingness, bad flirting and even worse joke, Lance was the one who kept everyone going. Always trying to help. Always wanting to help, and always encouraging in his own way. Opening his comms, Pidge appeared on the screen  
"Keith, how's it going?"  
"I just reached the quadrant. I think Black can already feel Red, but we're still learning about this. It might take some time"  
"Alright. He's probably kicking back and lazing off..."  
"Or he could be serious hurt"  
"Keith, this is Lance. I'll bet you GAC he's just lazing around"  
Why was it that Pidge irritated him so? He'd never had a problem before with her before, but now her sassy personality seemed much more immature, her banter almost malicious in some instances? And her constant dismissal of Lance was cruel, given the level of love Lance had for all of them  
"Just be waiting"  
"Yeah yeah, just be prepared to pay up that GAC"  
Keith cut the transmission, closing his eyes and focusing on seeing through Black's. He was never going to get used to this  
"Girl. Can we find them?"  
Black roared, her speed picking back up  
"That's my girl. Let's bring them home"

Red seemed structurally alright as Keith landed Black beside her, a long scrape ran across her left side, which could have either been from the crash or from hitting Pidge. Hopefully from hitting Pidge, because the crash site looked bad enough  
"Lance?!"  
Well that was great  
"Red, is he in you?"  
Her mouth was firmly closed, her eyes dark. Great. So she was offline. That's why Lance hadn't been able to return, or contact them... if they couldn't get her online, he'd have to tow her back and that could movements... which neither of them had. Especially not if Lance was hurt  
"Laaaaance?! Can you hear me?!"  
Pidge better not be right. Lance better not have taken this as a holiday... not that he actually thought he was. No. Lance loved Red and even if he had no idea what was he doing, he would have at least tried to fix her  
"Lance! Can you hear me?!"  
There was a scuttling and a sliding of rocks from the caves dotted along the small ridge behind Red  
"Lance?! Yorak! Come!"  
Appearing by his side, Yorak yipped, headbutting up against his hand  
"Yorak, find Lance"  
Yorak yippee again, zigzagging as he teleported towards the caves. Running after him, Keith found them to be much more shallow than he'd expected, barely even caves at all. Starting to yip, almost in frantically, his paws digging and scratching at ground  
"Lance!"

Laying on the ground, next to the remains of a small fire, Lance was wheezing for breath. His tanned skin a sickly yellow hue, while his left leg just...it looked wrong. Lance had been serious hurt in the crash, and left like this for nearly who phoeb... fuck. He'd fucked up. He hadn't reached him in time, and now Lance barely the Lance he remembered. Kneeling down beside the Paladin, Keith placed his hand on Lance's forehead, frowning at the lack of response, the burning fever and the strange smell coming from his friend  
"Lance? Lance, if you can hear me, I need you to open your eyes for me"  
Instead of opening his eyes, Lance let out a rattling wheeze  
"Yorak, find me a good path back to Black. He needs help and I can't do anything for him while he's here"  
Lifting Lance, Lance whimpered in his sleep, probably in an enormous amount of pain, which caused Keith to be struck with yet another stab of guilt. He should have been faster. He should have intercepted Red and Green when they'd collided. Not left Lance alone like this. Everyone knew Lance was a social person and tended to get depressed if left alone for too long, not that he ever let it show... he didn't need or deserve the feeling of abandonment on top of everything.

Carrying Lance down to Black and into the cargo hold of his lion, Keith laid Lance out on the bed of blankets he'd been using during the few vargas he'd been forced to sleep while Black's core recharged. Cupping the right side of Lance's face, Keith nodded to himself. Painkillers. He needed painkiller and antibiotics... and IV drip. It was clear Lance had lost a lot of weight and on such a barren planet, Keith wasn't sure how his team mate had even found anything to eat  
"Yorak, stay. Keep him company while I get what I need"  
Dropping to his stomach, Yorak whined as he placed his head on Lance's shoulder, now taking over the role of Lance's temporary protecter while Keith gathered up his first aid kit. Once Lance was stabilised, he'd used Black to pull Red up, and set her on autopilot back to Olkarion. After that, he'd have to call the team and let them know Lance would need to go straight into the one healing pod they'd been able to salvage from the castle. With a lot of help from Ryner's scientists, they'd been able to rig a system to power it, but only for short bursts at a time. It'd been alright when it'd first been removed from the castle, but without the constant power supply, its internal battery had lost its ability to hold charge... or something. Honestly, he'd been too focused on the fact Shiro was back to fully focus on the conversation. Now he wished he had. Lance needed a fucking pod.

With careful hands, Keith cut Lance's clothes off. Thankfully Lance had already removed his own jacket, and his pants were torn enough that there was no risk of him nicking him with his blade. With just his boxers on, Keith groaned at the state of him as he tired to ignore how much sweeter Lance smelt without his clothes on. It was ridiculous and he swore Lance had never smelt like that before he'd left. Shaking his head, he wiped at he crease of Lance's right arm, he'd always said chicks digged scars, and Lance certainly had a few new ones. From the top of his left hip down to Lance's inner thigh sported one such scar, as did his left arm, and across his painfully bruised chest. Seeing Lance look so fragile beneath him, Keith felt an unexpected surge of desire. The desire to protect his friend... to protect Lance from absolutely everything that would ever hurt him. It was a sensation he'd never experienced, and couldn't say why it'd even surfaced so abruptly. Setting up the IV line, Keith injected the line with two opaque solutions Ryner had gifted him. These were the antibiotics and painkillers, both of which would make Lance drowsy and save Keith from the awkward conversation he'd have to have with Lance once they reached Olkarion. Lance was going to need surgery, his breaks would have to be rebroken and set properly, otherwise the healing pod promote healing in the affected area, and make the damage worse. After that, it was possibly it would take phoebs to get Lance up and moving... delaying their return to Earth even longer. Lance wasn't going to be happy... but at least he wouldn't be going through it alone. Keith was going to be there for him, like Lance had been for him when Shiro had disappeared again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fml. Stupid chapter order zzz

The trip to Olkarion had exhausted him. Lance wasn't just physically injured and suffering, but mentally unstable. He'd learnt that the hard way when he'd woken up to Lance screaming. Yorak's jaws were wrapped around his friend's wrists as his wolf tried to disarm Lance, the blade in Lance's hands mere millimetres from Keith's throat. The worst bit though, was that Lance didn't even seem to be "awake", or aware of the fact he'd tried to slit Keith's throat. After taking the blade from him, Yorak released his hold and Lance collapsed back against the blankets. After that came the nightmares, stemming from the lack of sedative induced dreamless sleep. Lance would scream for vargas in his sleep, not waking or stirring, no matter what Keith tried. Lance would simply go limp, and unresponsive, a few doboshes later his wheezes become rhythmic as he fell back into a peaceful cycle that would only last one or two vargas... if Keith was lucky. Lance's body might be healing, but he feared that when Lance woke, he wasn't going to be the same person he'd known.

Pidge was still making jokes as Black had placed Red down carefully. Teasing him that there was no way Lance could possibly be as bad as he'd described. She was the first person he wanted to see Lance like this. He wanted to get under her skin and knock her down a few pegs, but once again his protective instincts had surged. He couldn't bare to have anyone else touching Lance, so had carried the unconscious Paladin straight to the Coalition hospital alone. Lance then rushed from his sight as Keith internally melted down. Disgusted by his own weakness, he'd taken off. Not once had Lance been coherent or awake enough to even talk to him, nor had Keith managed to bring his fever back under control. Everything he'd done had barely been enough and it hurt on a whole other level, that he didn't understand.

Keith was back in Black when his mother found him, angrily scrubbing the cargo bay floor clean of Lance's blood and vomit. That had been another thing. The vomit. It's purpleness was just... gross, and each time Lance had weakly vomited, it'd been accompanied by the sound of some kind of internal crunching. His mother had thought him to access and accept his Galra senses, and now he heard too much. Rinsing the cloth he was using, he dropped it back into the bucket, sitting back on his heels as his mother walked into the cargo bay, squatting down beside him  
"Keith?"  
"It's fine mum"  
"It's not fine. Your friend is seriously ill"  
"Yep. He spent a phoeb suffering because I didn't reach him in time"  
"Keith, it wasn't your fault"  
"Really? I come back to lead Voltron and this is what happens..."  
"Sendak is to blame. As are the other Paladins"  
Guiding him to sit properly, his mother placed her hands on his shoulders   
"So you've noticed?"  
"How they aren't quite what you described?"  
"Things never used to be like this. You saw my memories. You saw how things were"  
"I did. And I've seen that Lance has been hurting for quite some time"  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"Even before you left, things had already begun to change. Shiro, no, Kuron was already blaming Lance. The others followed his lead and dismissed him. You were all to close to see what was happening, and it has lead to a fracturing of the team"  
"Sometimes the closer you are, the less you see"  
"Exactly. You're all so young, with such a big burden on your shoulders. You're all still trying to find your place in the world, and understand who you really are. You've grown and changed in your time apart from them. You've found a new maturity that the others are just starting to come into"  
"That's probably why I'm struggling to handle Pidge. Her constant dismissal of Lance... it isn't fair on him. He doesn't deserve the way he's been treated"  
"You have feelings for him?"  
"What? No. Not like that"  
"He was a good friend to you..."  
"And that's just it. A friend. Nothing more... but mum, something's happened. I noticed a really sweet smell coming from him, and since then, well... I've had this stupid desire to protect him. Like really protect him. I didn't even want the team to get too close to him. I didn't feel that way before he disappeared, not until I touched him"  
"Is it possible you were exposed to something?"  
"I don't know. Lance was vomiting and burning a fever, so while I may have been, I have no idea what is"  
"I was thinking more along the lines of a love bug"  
Keith sighed. He'd been trying to have a serious conversation   
"It sounds to me like you have feelings for him"  
"I don't have feelings for Lance! That's what I'm trying to tell you..."  
"Keith, its alright if you do. I saw how close you two became, and I know he was excited over you return"  
"He barely said two words to me"  
"Because you didn't let him. The situation with Lotor was too urgent, then there was also the issue with Shiro and you're still grieving over the loss of the friend you knew. There was also the attack by Sendak's forces, and delay in returning to Earth. You've been under tremendous stress"  
"Maybe. It's just... I was supposed to protect them. You know. I lost Shiro, and I don't want to lose Lance"  
"Are you certain there was never a moment you entertained the thought of Lance as more than a friend? You did take years to truly be able to figure out what you felt for Shiro"  
"Are you saying I'm stupid?"  
"No. Just oblivious. Lance is a good boy, who cares deeply for you"  
"So you really think I have a thing for Lance?"  
"At the very least, know that he does have feelings for you. Romantic ones, before you start to argue"  
"I... what... no he doesn't. He liked Allura"  
"Keith, you can like more than one person at once. Feelings are a complicated thing"  
"I just don't think what I'm feeling right now is something natural..."  
"Galra males can't be very protective and possessive of their partners"  
His mother's singsong tone had Keith grinding his teeth together. He knew his feelings weren't exactly normal. As in. He didn't always feel what everyone else did over things, but this... this was different. A scary different. Like he had no control over it... and that scent... even cleaning up Black, it wouldn't leave his nose. No. Something was definitely wrong her  
"If you're that concerned, we can have you checked"  
"What are the others going to say?"  
"Just say Lance was vomiting and feverish, and you're getting tested as precaution"  
"I suppose..."  
At least he'd have answers  
"Good. We can leave this for later. Coran hasn't had anything to do of late"  
"I am capable of cleaning my own lion"  
"And so is he. It will make him feel better, provided you aren't contagious"

 

*  
With blood samples taken Keith was now standing by Lance's bedside, as he attempted to look anywhere else but at his friend. The only noise in the room was the soft hiss coming from the release valve on the breathing tube running down Lance's throat, each time Lance released a "breath". His colour was still horrible, around his eyes a deep black-blue and his lips cracked. Hunk had taken one look at Lance and burst into tears, despite having snobbed him just as badly as Pidge had of late. Standing next to him, Keith could hear Shiro mentally blaming himself for this happening, while Allura, Romelle and Coran had lead the crying and shaking form of Hunk from the room, so they were all outside with Pidge. With a lack of answers and knowledge over what was happening, his mother had taken it upon herself to find out  
"Keith, he's going to be ok"  
Keith jumped at Shiro's soft voice, too busy feeling guilty for not being able to look at Lance  
"We don't know that"  
"Once we understand what we are dealing with, we'll be able to place him into the healing pod"  
"The pod can't hold charge, and we don't have the same levels of power available to us, like we did with the castle. I know you've already come to the same conclusion as I did"  
"We could be in for a long stay"  
"Exactly. He was the who was most looking forward to returning to Earth, and now we may never... without him, we can't even form Voltron. Has Pidge taken a look yet?"  
"No. She and Hunk were... actually, I'm not completely sure what they were doing"  
"Can you ask them to make that their top priority. We need to know if this is to do with Lance's health, or if something was dislodged in Red"  
"What are you going to do?"  
"As leader of Voltron, Lance's health falls under my responsibility. I'm going to talk with his doctor about his condition. Once we know what he needs, it'll be easier to get him back onto his feet, and make plans for either returning home, or beefing up things here on Olkarion"  
"Alright. I'll inform the others"  
"Thanks, Shiro"

He didn't want to be alone with Lance. He wanted to reach out and take his friends hand, but his mother's words about "feelings" came to mind. He didn't know what to make of Lance's feelings. Lance flirted with everyone. Age, race and gender didn't really seem to matter, which was why Keith was shocked to find Lance had actually had real feelings for Allura. There was no way she could possible be right. Lance had never had those kinds of feelings for him before, and he didn't have feelings for Lance.

The others had left by the time his mother returned, the doctor behind her looked slightly scared as he inched his way around the room and to the opposite side of Lance's bed. Checking the breathing tube was still in place, and Lance's vitals, the man logged them in his tablet before looking up at him  
"You'll be handling Lance's medical decisions?"  
"Yes"  
The man signed   
"He's in bad shape"  
Keith resisted the urge to punch him. When he could tell that Lance was in a bad way  
"Maybe you should just tell us what's wrong?"  
"Let's start from the feet. Dislocated left knee, with a closed fracture in left leg... oh so, he has a displaced fracture half was down his fibula which has healed on the wrong angle. It is the same with fracture in his right radius. His ribs... well, there's more of those broke than not, also healing wrong, once those are corrected, he will be able to breathe properly, the swelling and positioning means that currently he is unable to take a proper breath. He also has fluid in his lungs, but was lucky as the were not perforated due to the breaks. He fighting a viral infection, as well fighting a fever of unknown origin. We do not know how it was introduced into his system, but it is changing him on a basic level"  
Basic level... that had to mean at his base... sooo  
"His DNA is changing?"  
"Indeed. But without previous data, it is hard to make comparisons, but it does seem to be the direct cause of his scent, and fever"  
"Coran should have a copy of that"  
"Excellent. Now. In the crash, he also sustained trauma to base of his skull, and..."  
The man hummed, before pointing just above Lance's left ear and continuing, obvious he thought he had to dumb it down when it came to the brain... because he couldn't have softened the blow earlier...  
"... With all head injuries, we can never truly know what the outcome will be until he wakes. There was some bruising to his internal organs, but that is healing. All in all, it's amazing he survived this long"  
Of course Lance had survived. He was a survivor. His mother took over, given he'd actually growled. He'd never growled at anyone in his life like that... and now he didn't know what to do or say... because he had no idea why he'd growled in first place   
"What are the treatment options?"  
"With the pod, I am confident he will make a complete recovery"  
"We can't use the pod. If we use the pod, the breaks will heal the way they are now"  
The man clicked his tongue   
"He will need surgery. We will need to correct the breaks, and damage. Though we will need to treat his fever before we can perform the procedure. If we were to operate now, he would die on the table"  
Keith growled again, this time his mother grabbed his arm  
"Whatever has infected Lance, has possibly infected Keith..."  
"Ah. Yes. Keith, you are responding to the scent coming from Lance. It is activating the more beastial parts of your Galra genetics. Your symptoms will also pass once Lance's fever and scent does. Until then, I recommend wearing a mask, or avoiding Lance altogether. As I said. We do not know what's caused this, as no one else has been affected the same way from his scent, we believe he past the stage of being contagious"  
"So I have this thing... doesn't that mean I could be a carrier?"  
"No. You're purely reacting to his scent. As I said. Anything that may have been in your blood has passed. The damage that virus may have been doing to you has now passed, if you were even infected at all"  
"Mum, are you feeling anything? You're Galra, if it's the scent, then you should be feeling protective of him"  
His mother shook her head  
"Not to the same degree you are. What I'm feeling is concern as he means so much to you"  
"Not like that"  
He did not want anyone getting the wrong idea, that his mother seemed to be so happy to announce to the world  
"Keith, you're growling. You're possessive of him as he was your partner, and your own scent is angered by just looking at him"  
"Because of his scent. I'm not doing this. If I can't be here, I'll have to ask Shiro to step in"  
"Not Shiro"  
"What do mean "not Shiro"? I thought you liked Shiro"  
"I do. I know he heavily regrets his actions, but Lance is ill and in pain, his mind possibly damaged. Shiro caused him pain... the mind makes leaps on its own"  
He didn't want to admit his mother was right, nor did he want to admit that he was secretly pleased. It was this stupid scent. That was it  
"In that case, Allura, Pidge and Hunk are out. Allura didn't return Lance's feelings, while Pidge and Hunk haven't been talking to him..."  
"Coran? He cares a great deal about Lance"  
"No, Coran needs to keep busy. He's like Lance. He needs to be doing something or he starts to over think things"  
"That leaves Romelle?"  
"Romelle doesn't understand what Lance is like. Besides, Lance would complain if we let a cute girl see him like this"  
"Oooh, so you think Romelle is cute?"  
"Really, that's what you're going to focus on?"  
"You've never called anyone cute. Even during our two years"  
"Lance would call Romelle cute"  
Keith wasn't getting into a whole other conversation about his sexuality. He'd had wet dreams and jerked off while thinking about both men and women, he didn't seem to really prefer one sex, instead more attracted to the person inside the body. He didn't know what he was, but he was fine with himself and that was the main thing... though Lance... would Lance feel the same? If they talked about these feelings, would Lance open up to him? They were kind of the same... which meant Lance had nothing to be ashamed of... unless he really did have feelings for him. Krolia patted his shoulder  
"I will watch him"  
"No... I should. If you're right about his mental state, he'll need a friendly face"  
"Are you saying I'm not friendly?"  
"No, but you are Galra and he doesn't know you, not really. Besides, I think he would class you in the "cute girl category""  
"He's a sweet boy"  
"If you're staying, we should find you a mask"  
"I'll stay in the hall"  
"Keith, from what I've seen of Lance, he would be happier if someone was to hold his hand"  
"Lance is currently in a medically induced coma. Whether someone is here or not, he wouldn't know. If you would like, we can notify you once their is a change in his condition, and you can return to your team"  
"No. This is Voltron, we don't leave people behind, and Lance spent long enough on his own as it is"  
Great. He'd ruined his own argument and now he would be staying beside Lance, despite the fact he really shouldn't.

Moving a chair to beside Lance's bed, Keith sank down with a weary sigh. They couldn't treat the fever without knowing what had caused it... they couldn't do anything but Lance sleep. His crushed ribs would be the first surgery... and then what? They slowly put Lance back together? Lance had to have been in agony... yet he'd somehow made a fire, and also drawn something or other on the "cave" walls... he'd tried to keep himself alive, but did give up on being rescued? Was that why he was unconscious, feeling that they'd abandoned him? It roused that protective instinct, and he reached for Lance's hand, carefully taking into his own. Even with a raging fever, Lance's fingers were as cold as ice, and so much thinner than they should be... how had he possibly survived like this?

 

*  
Finding himself falling asleep by Lance's side, Keith wiped the small amount of drool pooling in his palm away, before growling. He was beyond frustrated. The others didn't know what to say to Lance once he woke, so they'd taken the out, of training the Olkarion in the ways of Lion tech. Red had been a stupidly easy fix, a loose connector... that funnily enough only the mice were small enough to actually reach. Lance hadn't stood a chance. No matter what he would have tried, he wouldn't have been able to reconnect the wires. It was almost laughable, with everything else going on. Lance's body was still producing the same sweet smell, but all they could do it leave the infection to finish doing it its thing, because Lance was evolving, or rather, forming a womb of all things. Something that should never have been possible under normal circumstances, but apparently it was an actual thing and he... he was screwed.

After analysing the data, and bringing his mother in to consult on the findings, his mother had oh so casually dropped the bombshell that Haggar had experimented with such things. The goal of which was to make the ultimate loyal soldier, one that would do anything for their emperor and never give into their own desires of power. Only Lance wasn't Galra. His body responding completely differently than expected, and now this was happening. Even worse, the way his mother had explained it, Lance had imprinted on him. The herb had worked to make Lance more appealing for the person he held dearest... to please them and there was no mistaking the fact Lance had feelings for him now. No wonder it hadn't worked for Zarkon or Haggar. It hadn't created incredibly loyal soldiers, but it probably had increased the Galra population by a few thousand... because they totally needed the numbers. Because the experiment hadn't worked out, the quadrant of space had been stripped of its remaining resources before decimated, yet, somehow Lance had managed to get his hands on a some of that herb, and now this was happening. Keith had been waiting to wake up from all of this for the last two quintants, but apparently he was already awake and this wasn't some kind of wacky dream. Lance liked him. Lance wanted to be more appealing for him. Lance's body was changing to suit him. He didn't want any of this. Lance was fine the way he was. Annoying. Loud. Having no concept of personal space and flirting with anything that moves. That was Lance... not... not this. Surely they deserved a break. Some kind of holiday to reward their hard work? Some kind of holiday where he could avoid Lance until this whole thing blew over, because since when did Lance decide it was ok to have feelings for him? And why hadn't Lance's fever broken? Nope. He couldn't do this... he couldn't keep staring at Lance, when this was all his fault. He'd have to ask his mother to take over. He'd take a hot shower, get some proper sleep, a real meal, and come back when Lance was actually awake and able to tell him properly that this was all some giant misunderstanding... all of which he'd do once his hands actually listened to him and released Lance's. Which they totally weren't doing right now.


	3. Chapter 3

Lance felt like he was floating... and sinking at the same time. His body felt light, but he couldn't actually move to raise himself, and float away like he thought he could. Yawning widely, he wanted to burrow back down into the warmth surrounding him, firmly keeping his eyes closed to ensure he didn't wake up and get distracted before he could. But his peace was soon interrupted as he started coughing uncontrollably. What the quiznak was going on? Pulled up, a warm hand rubbed his back as goop dribbled from his lips while he hacked. Shit. Red. He'd crashed Red... so where the hell was he now? This didn't look the castle. It didn't smell like the castle. When the hell did his sense of smell get so good? Or bad? He could smell, which was good, but all he could smell was how bad he smelt. It was sweet, a sickly kind of sweet with just a hint of blood. Coughing harder, he threw up what looked to be water across his sheets. If he could die now, that would be great  
"Lance, you're ok. You're ok"  
He totally didn't feel ok. It felt like he had half an ocean in his lungs, and now his happy floating feeling had passed, he could feel how much everything fucking hurt. Like really hurt. Tears pricked in his eyes as he whimpered  
"You're ok. Do you know who I am?"  
With water? and drool running from his mouth, Lance nodded  
"K-Krolia?"  
"Very good. You gave us all a scare"  
"Wh..."  
"What happened? You and Red went a little adventure. A lot has happened, and you're a bit banged up, but with time you'll be ok"  
He didn't feel like he'd be ok, and he had no idea what was going on between his legs because it felt like he'd wet himself without actually peeing. It was seriously wet down there  
"I don't feel good"  
"A fever will do that to you. Let me just get the Doctor"  
"N-no..."  
A fear filled him. He didn't know why, but the idea of seeing someone he didn't know scared the hell out of him. Even Krolia's warm hand was starting to make his skin crawl. He didn't even realised he was panicking until Krolia took her hand off his back  
"Lance, you need to breathe. You've been in a coma and then the healing pod. You need to slow your breathing"  
"I... I don't understand"  
"You don't understand what? That you've been in a coma? You were in a really bad way when Keith found you. You were burning up with a fever, and we had to get that under control before we could operate"  
"K-Keith?"  
"Yeah. He went and picked you and Red up"  
His brain couldn't keep up with this. Coughing again, Krolia waited until he'd finished before guiding him back down   
"Now. You're going to be just fine, it's just going to take a little while. I really do need to get the doctor"  
"No... please"  
"Lance..."  
"I... I don't know why but I'm scared"  
He felt like a little kid, beginning to cry weakly over it all  
"We'll have a little talk about what's happening and what you're feeling soon... I'll be here, so you won't be alone with him. Or is there someone else you'd rather?"  
Keith... he wanted to scream Keith's name. To hunt him down and then... well, he didn't know. He just wanted to see him so badly that his heart seemed to ache  
"N-no..."  
"Ok, I'll be right back"

Rolling onto his side left Lance whimpering, he would have been sobbing if he wasn't so scared. It hurt. It hurt so fucking bad, and his leg wouldn't move right. He couldn't understand what was happening. He could remember crashing Red, but that was it... him in Red and a crushing fear of loneliness. Something was missing, and without that something, everything was scary. Coughing wetly again, more strange water? spilt across the bed. He wanted to clean it up before anyone could see. He hated being sick, like most people did, but most people didn't have brothers that would yell at him for it. Who'd bully him and rub his face in his own vomit. They might have been kids, and jealous over the fact he was definitely their mother's favourites, but combined with some of the other things from his youth, being sick in front of people was terrifying. It didn't matter that over a decade had passed, that fear was still in him. Heaving again, this time the water was slightly pink... which probably wasn't a good thing. His chest was aching nearly as fiercely as his hips and leg...  
"Lance!"  
Flinching at Krolia yelling his name, he tried to protect his face as she rushed over to him  
"I'm so sorry! You need to stay on your back for now... I didn't even think..."  
"'s ok"  
So he'd messed up. He should have known better... it was like that time he'd thrown up on Louis shoes, because he hadn't stayed in bed. He'd been too excited over seeing his brother to remember he was supposed to. Louis had been so mad... What a stupid thing to be thinking. He was stupid. Rolling him gently back, Lance wished he could pull the blankets up to cover his face. How was he supposed to face Krolia?

"Lance, how are you feeling?"  
Coming to Krolia's side, Lance recognised the man instantly as being of Olkari heritage... that was good. That meant he was back on Olkarion  
"Not very good"  
"You're doing much better than when you brought in. Krolia said you've been coughing up a lot of fluid, but that's good. You had fluid in your lungs, and after a round of healing in the pod, they healed most of the damage, but your condition is still so serious, we couldn't risk opening you up again to drain your lungs completely"  
"Serious?"  
"You're very lucky to be alive, and healing you will be a very long and slow process. Even with the healing pod, you will still need surgery, and then their adjusting to your new biology"  
He whimpered again. All these things didn't sound good, and did nothing for his anxieties   
"B-biology?"  
"Yes, you've undergone an extreme change and right now, your in a very serious state"  
He was scared. He was scared and this man wasn't helping. Whimpering, he tried to curl in on himself, wheezing as he both tried to cough and tried to breathe at the same time  
"I'm sorry. I did not mean to distress you"  
"Can you please call Keith? I don't think he's going to calm down without him"  
"Are you certain?"  
"I'll take full responsibility for it"  
"Very well"  
The man disappeared, but Lance's fear didn't. He couldn't stop shaking, even if his heart had skipped a beat at Keith's name...   
"Lance, before Keith comes I need to tell you something. While on that planet, you were exposed to a rare herb. Because of it, you might feel something towards Keith that didn't you feel before. A kind of love. Before you get scared or confused over it"  
"But... what... no... why?"  
"It was left over from Galra experimentation. It essentially amplifies ones feelings"  
"But I don't like Keith... like that"  
Krolia didn't look convinced in the slightest, while Lance's panicking shot up to a whole other level. He couldn't like Keith. He'd told himself a million and one times in the past. He couldn't really like anyone. He'd liked Allura and that had been a mess... not mention Keith would be probably be disgusted if he told him that he maybe liked him. It would completely ruin their friendship... but did they even have a friendship? He'd been a huge burden. A burden Keith had had to fly all the way out to pick up and bring back, purely because he was Red's Paladin... for now.

Keith couldn't have been far away. The man striding into the room like it as his birth right or something. In the back of Lance's mind, something screamed with happiness to see him. He wanted to throw his arms around him. To drown himself in the scent of him. To pin him down and... oh... oh god. What... what was he thinking?!?! He couldn't do that! Lance's face burnt bright red as between his legs grew wetter... surely he hadn't come... no way... he hadn't come, and he hadn't gone to the toilet... so why was he soaking wet from just looking at Keith, and why was groin throbbing with a need for Keith's touch. He couldn't... he couldn't let Keith know about the secret crush he'd had on him... even from before he'd left. Fighting off Krolia's hands, he drew his legs up as he tried to roll back onto his side, gasping in pain from the motion   
"Lance, you need to stay still"  
"N-no... please... no"  
"Let him go"  
"Keith"  
"Let him go! You're hurting him!"  
Lance felt Krolia's hands leave his arms, allowing him to curl up like he'd wanted   
"Keith, you know he needs to remain still and laying on his back"  
"You're scaring him"  
"Keith, you're not thinking straight. Isn't that why you asked me to watch him while you were in the hall?"  
"I didn't think he was going to be this terrified when he woke up! Now leave him alone"  
He hated the way Keith was yelling at his mother... it was like how his father had yelled at his mother... letting out a long whine, Keith immediately rushed to take his hand  
"Lance, it's ok. You're ok"  
"Keith"  
"Mum, can you leave us alone? He needs to calm down"  
"As long as you can control yourself..."  
"I'm not about to hurt him"  
"You know that's not the real problem"  
"I know. I know and I tried to stay away. But I can feel his fear. I can smell it. He's in so much pain right now, and not just emotional pain..."  
Lance sniffled. Keith's hand was filling his body with a warmth, especially around his stomach. The whole area was growing warmer  
"Please"  
"If you make wrong move"  
"Remove me. Knock me out if you have to"  
"Remember you said that"

Krolia left, Keith sitting down on the edge of his bed once she was gone  
"Lance, I know you're hurting, but I need you to stay still on bed. Do you think you can do that for me?"  
He should be angry that Keith was treating him like a little kid, but he was angrier at himself for doing what Keith said. Rolling back onto his back, again, he forced his shaking legs to stretch back out, whining as his left leg moved  
"Good. You're doing good"  
He wasn't used to kind Keith. Kind Keith was weird, though he still smiled up at him, almost proud to have done what he was asked  
"Lance, I know you have a lot of questions, but for now you need to do what the doctor says. Ok?"  
Lance nodded quickly, regretting his actions immediately   
"You know the pod no longer has the same power it did, so we need to use it short bursts. This means you need a couple of surgeries to fix you back up. You're on painkillers, but it's been a bit of trial and error. The medication has been wearing off much faster than we all expected, so the doctor will be giving you another shot for the pain soon"  
Lance nodded again, this time sniffling as he did. Keith's almost smile turned downwards   
"What's wrong?"  
"I'm scared"  
Why had said that!? He didn't want Keith knowing he was scared, but his mouth had moved on its own  
"Scared of what?"  
"Not opening my eyes again"  
And again. Zero control over his lips  
"You're going to be fine. Like I said, you still need a few more operations, but you'll be ok. The next one will be your leg, so you should be in a lot less pain once that ones over"  
"I don't want to die"  
Keith surprised him with the sternness in his tone  
"You are not going to die. I won't allow you to die. I won't lose you, not like I lost Shiro. You will be fine"  
"I'm so tired... and it hurts so much"  
"Doctor, can you please give him an injection for the pain now?"  
"We need to know how his lungs feel?"  
"Lance, how does it feel to breathe? Any pressure on your chest? Can you take a deep breath?"  
"I keep coughing... so I can't take a deep breath. My chest feels ok, I guess"  
"That is fine. The fluid will have passed within the next two to three vargas. Tomorrow you will rest, and the day after we have you scheduled for surgery on your leg"  
"Do I need it? I mean. You guys put me in the pod"  
"Because your body has started to heal, things were healing wrong. We have to correct them before we can place you in the pod"  
He felt like he'd heard those words before, or something similar. Everything was starting to get jumbled and all he wanted was Keith for Keith to climb into bed next to him  
"Sorry. I'm confused"  
"Mental confusion was expected"  
Was to be expected?  
"I can't follow. What do you mean?"  
"Lance, it's fine. Just close your eyes. I'll be here"  
"I don't want to close them"  
"You can't sleep with them open"  
"It too close to dying"  
"You're not going to die. Don't even joke about that. I don't want to hear you talking like that"  
Lance promptly shut up. He wanted to reply, but Keith didn't want to hear it. No one wanted to hear it. He died and no one cared... now he couldn't even tell Keith that that was why he didn't want to close his eyes. So he had to lay there, watching the needle slide into his shoulder   
"Lance, close your eyes and sleep. You'll be ok"  
This time his eyes closed when Keith mentioned it. He couldn't even fight it. Everything Keith was telling to him do, he was rushing to do it. It made no sense. 

It felt like he'd only just closed his eyes before he was waking again. Keith was still there, still holding his hand as stared down at his face. Coughing, Lance shook uncontrollably. He was in way more pain than he'd been in the first time he'd woken  
"Lance, what's wrong?"  
"Hurts... hurts so bad"  
"Ok, your pain meds have probably worn off. You've been trying to wake up for the last varga"  
He'd be embarrassed if he wasn't in so much pain, his voice came out in a needy whimper  
"Hurts"  
"I know. We can't give you anything just yet. You've been sleeping for the last quintant and a half"  
It didn't feel like it. It really didn't...  
"They're going to operate on you leg later today. I was hoping you'd be out of until then, but you've always been stubborn"  
"Sorry... I'm sorry for making you mad"  
Keith sighed  
"You can't help this. For now, you just have to focus on getting better. After that, we can talk about whatever this thing is"  
"What thing?"  
"Lance, I know you feel it"  
He wanted to deny it. He wanted to tell Keith to leave him alone. He wanted to do something other than just nod. So he did. His neck stiffened as he tried to shake his head, but he still managed to   
"Lance"  
"I only feel pain. You... Hunk?"  
Keith's scowl grew, the ridge above the bridge of his nose deepening  
"Hunk? Do you want to see him?"  
Not really. He'd be busy and Lance didn't want to annoy him  
"No... never mind"  
He mumbled his response, Keith's scowl lessening. Maybe mentioning the others was bad? Maybe the others didn't want him as a Paladin anymore? And that was why they hadn't been to see him? He didn't want them so him anyway  
"Do you think you can sleep?"  
"No"  
"Do you want to talk?"  
"No"  
"Lance, you can talk to me. You can always tell me anything... we're friends"  
So he was allowed to say what was on his mind now?  
"I want to be alone"  
Apparently he could...  
"Lance, I'm not leaving you alone. I know you have feelings for me because of the infection, and I know it might mark things hard for you, but even if you weren't infected, I'd like to think we could still talk openly and honestly"  
"You want open and honest?"  
"Yes..."  
"I'm honestly sick of this. Everything you tell me to do, I can't stop myself from doing. Even now. You told me to be honest and even though I didn't want to tell you, I can't stop myself. It feels like if I don't do it, you're going to hurt me"  
"Lance..."  
The colour drained from Keith's face  
"... mum said there would be differences between us. I didn't know she... ok. I... I should go. I can't be near you like this. You just get some rest... and do as the doctors tell you. I'll see if someone else can come sit beside you. Just... sorry"  
Keith slid his hand from Lance's, the loss of warmth immediate as tears welled, his heart beginning to race, that same little something as before screamed in panic. Keith had told him to be honest. He was honest. Now he'd hurt Keith and Keith was leaving. He couldn't... he should have remained silent. Or said something better.

 

*  
Coran was by his side the next time Lance woke. The Altean beaming down at him, in a way that verged on scary. He knew when Coran smiled that there was two extremes. Coran was either extremely happy, or something major had happened and he was extremely scared. Given that Lance was in hospital, having just come round from surgery, he was opting for the second extreme  
"Lance my boy, it's good to see you awake"  
"It's... uh, good to be awake? What did I miss?"  
"You gave us a bit of a scare my boy, but you're awake now and that's the main thing"  
Definitely extreme number two. Trying to take some of the weight off his left side, Lance hissed  
"No, no, no. Sorry Lance, you've got to stay still for the moment. And try not to look down"  
Telling someone not to do something was a great way to get them to do just that. Lance cautiously peaked down towards his feet, finding the blanket raised around his leg  
"C-Coran... what is that?"  
"We... Lance, I am so sorry. You had a bleed during the surgery, and weren't stable enough to repair the damage in one surgery"  
"The pod?"  
"I'm sorry. If we'd put you it, it would have only healed the surgery done, not your whole leg, meaning you'd need another surgery... but not to worry. A few quintants and you'll be back on your feet"  
"Ok..."  
"Good boy. Now, is there anything you need?"  
"Um... where is everyone?"  
"There was a small Galra attack not to far from Olkarion, they're all just fine, but getting some well needed rest"  
So that's why Keith wasn't here... he wanted Keith... Coran was nice, but Keith was soothing... wait... Coran would actually tell him what was going on! Not like Keith. Keith had just confused him, declaring that Lance had feelings for him without even asking him  
"Coran, can you tell me what's wrong with me?"  
"Didn't they tell you?"  
"Probably, but my head has been so muddled... I know I wrecked my leg and chest..."  
"Well my boy, you did a good job. When Keith brought you home, you were running a fever and in a coma. You broke you ribs, your leg and your right arm"  
His arm? He hadn't even noticed anything wrong with his arm, not since waking... but everything hurt  
"You also bopped your head... but that's not what you're really asking about, is it?"  
"No... Coran, what's going on with my body. Keith said something about me having feelings for him, and between my legs feels weird. He won't tell me and I'm... I'm so confused"  
"I don't... I'm not sure if it's really my place to say"  
Coran lived for gossip. Everyone knew that... batting his eyelashes at the man, Lance pouted  
"Coran, I'm stuck in here and Keith doesn't even talk to me. I don't want everyone else knowing what's going on without me knowing anything. It's not fair..."  
"I suppose... Keith and Krolia are the only ones who really know what's happening... I mean, Allura and Shiro might have some idea..."  
"Coran, please. Just tell me. Am I going to die?"  
"No! Not at all. No. You body just went under a little change, in regards to your feelings for Keith"  
"I don't have feelings for Keith!"  
He didn't just have feelings for Keith, he had mountains of feelings. Feelings he knew for a long time that he shouldn't have   
"Lance, that's how the herb works. Your body is changing to suit what you perceive as Keith's desires"  
"My body is what? And what herb!?"  
"Well. The way Krolia described it. You have feelings for Keith, and you see him as bigger and stronger than you, so your body is taking uh..."  
""Uh" what?"  
"A more..."  
Coran paused to wince  
"...feminine role. Not worry, you're still a boy, bobby dangler and all... but you have grown a womb"  
"I've grown a what?! What are you talking about!? Coran, I really need you to start making some sense right now!"  
"You've bonded with Keith. There's no easy way to say it"  
"No. No way. I don't even have feelings for mullet"  
"Lance, I think we both know that's not true"  
"Coran. I'm not gay. I don't have feelings for him. I don't. I can't. No. No way. How do fix this?"  
"I do not know. It's out of my expertise, I'm afraid"  
"Coran... this cannot be happening..."  
Memories he desperately wanted to forget came rushing back. He could feel it all over again. Letting out a shaky breath, tears filled his eyes  
"I can't. I don't..."  
"You and Keith have been close for sometime and I know how much you missed him"  
"But it's not like that... why didn't... why him?"  
This was just too cruel  
"Don't worry. Keith is just fine"  
"That's not the problem Coran. I can't love him! I can't! I don't... we have to fix this"  
"Lance, we don't know if we can, but we'll definitely try out hardest"  
"Thank you... Coran"  
Lance sniffled as Coran leant in to wipe his tears away with handkerchief   
"You're very welcome my boy. Is there anything I can get you?"  
"N-no..."  
"I think Pidge has been working on some tech, so you won't be so bored"  
"Pidge? She's doing that?"  
Coran frowned at his confused tone  
"She is. She also took a look at Red, a loose connection I'm afraid"  
"I couldn't have flown her back anyway... I'm sorry Coran, I think I want to be alone for a bit"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah... I just... need to think. Thank you for being here"  
"No worries"  
Coran leant in and hugged him, which felt amazing. No one had hugged him movements. Not like this. It felt like a hug from his mother  
"If you need anything, give me a call"  
"I will..."

Left alone in his hospital bed, Lance had tried his hardest not to wriggle, but it was hard when his arse was completely numb from the stupid amount of time he'd spent in bed. Wriggling had only brought more pain and his curiosity, and his need to think of anything other than Keith, got the better of him. Pulling the blanket back, he eyes the contraption around his leg. It looked like a halo, other than the fact this one was made of vines and these vines were very clearly visible beneath his skin. The moment he saw them, he regretted looking. He'd fucked up. He'd fucked up so bad... he was too lightheaded to even move the blanket back, so couldn't escape the sight of it. This was all too much. If the healing pod had been in the castle, he would have been just fine. It had the power to fix like everything, but because of him, the castle was gone now. He should have spoken up sooner. Protected Allura from Lotor. Found some other way that meant not losing their home. Now... now they were all stuck here waiting because his body was wrecked... and now... now Keith was stuck with him because he'd eaten some stupid herb. It wasn't fair. He knew he couldn't be with Keith. Keith would never be the same and he'd only drag him down... Keith was just being nice. Each visit only because of the stupid herb. He'd spent so long hoping Keith might like him back, and now because of that, he'd never know. And if by some miracle Keith did like him, it wasn't going to be because of who he was. It was all going to be because of this stupid herb! Why did he always do the wrong thing? The moment Shiro came back to them, he should have handed Red back over to Keith... even if Shiro had one arm, he was still better than he was. Lance was a no one. The team had made that abundantly clear. He'd died and none of them had cared at all. Letting out a sob, he broke down. Completely and totally broke down.

 

*  
Keith was eating lunch with the others when his communicator started to ping. Opening the call, Coran's face popped up on the screen. Coran's eyes were filled with tears, his face pale and clearly scared   
"Coran? What's going? Is it Lance?"  
"It's Lance. He asked me to leave, but I couldn't, so I was waiting in the hall... he's very distraught, and won't calm down. He won't allow the doctor close enough to administer a sedative"  
Keith was already on his feet the moment that Coran agreed it was Lance. Rushing from the room, Shiro followed close behind him, but it didn't matter. He couldn't have cared less. This thing that had developed inside of him was roaring at him to get to Lance. To hold Lance tight and to comfort him. To protect him, and to never leave his side again. All of these feelings leaving him confused, yet... ok with it.

He could hear Lance screaming as they ran down the hall. The kind of scream that turned his blood cold, as the hairs on the back of his neck rose. It was the kind of scream that left him scared of what he was going to find. Bursting into the room, his eyes widened. Lance was on the floor with his eyes closed, blood spilling from the halo around his leg. Each time anyone tried to get close to him, he would lash out, kicking his left leg weakly, causing the halo's vines to tear through his skin  
"Lance!"  
Growling as he pulled the closest nurse away from Lance, Keith threw himself down beside him, gathering Lance into his arms without thinking  
"Lance... I've got you. You're ok"  
Lance let out a long wail, his hands coming to clutch Keith's jacket as he finally stopped screaming, instead letting out low hiccuping sobs  
"Keith?"  
"Give is a dobosh"  
"Keith, he's bleeding"  
"I said give me a dobosh!"  
Lance whimpered at the rise in his voice, tensing in his arms and causing Keith to curse himself   
"Shhh. I'm here. You're ok. Just focus on taking deep breaths"  
Lance immediately tried, gasping as he did. Quiznak. He'd forgotten that Lance seemed to automatically do as he asked. He was too upset to change his breathing so fast  
"Deep breaths in, hold it and then let it out slowly"  
"Shut up Shiro, you're not helping"  
"Lance, it's ok. You're ok. I need you to just keep breathing. I'm going to lift you in a tick, and it's probably going to hurt. Ok?"  
"Y-yes..."  
"Ready?"  
Lance nodded, burying his face against Keith's neck as he lifted Lance from the floor. The way Lance nuzzled into his neck felt amazing. And felt stupidly right. This was a complete mess. Gently moving Lance back to his bed, he growled as Shiro approached. Lance was hurt and he didn't want anyone who wasn't him touching him. Shiro ignored his growl, moving Lance's leg so it was straight  
"He's going to need surgery. I'll talk to Pidge about getting the pod ready for him"  
Keith swallowed instead of answering. He was sorely tempted to tell Shiro to fuck off, which wasn't like him at all. 

Rocking and hushing Lance, Lance continued to nuzzle his neck  
"I-I'm sorry"  
"You're ok. Your legs a bit busted, but I've got you"  
"I'm sorry... it scared me"  
Keith sighed to himself. Coran was supposed to be watching Lance, not letting him look at his busted bits and pieces   
"It looks worse than it is"  
"I'm sorry Keith... I'm so sorry... I didn't want this"  
"Want what?"  
"You"  
Keith couldn't stop himself from snarling. It felt like he'd been slapped across the face. Lance was supposed to want him. After all, Lance was his. He belonged to him. No... Lance was his own person. This was all just temporary...  
"It's ok. Right now you need to focus on getting better. We can talk later and you can tell me everything"  
"I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your life... I know you don't love me. I know ok... I didn't mean for any of this to happen"  
"You're not completely terrible"  
Lance shook his head. For someone who didn't want him, it certainly seemed like he wasn't going to be letting go of him any time soon   
"All I wanted was a friend... no one likes me... they think I'm annoying and useless"  
"No one thinks that"  
"They do... if they wanted me around they would have come to see me. I'm just a burden"  
"You're not a burden"  
"I am! I am a burden... I... I don't feel too good"  
"That's because you went and hurt yourself. The doctors at waiting for you to calm back down"  
"I'm fine... you can go"  
"Lance..."  
"Just stay away from me... Coran said we'll cure this... then you won't have to force yourself to be nice"  
"I'm sorry, but if he is ready, then we really need to get him into surgery"  
"You'll be just fine. I'll be there when you wake up"  
"It's ok... you don't have to be. I'll be fine on my own"  
"Lance?"  
"Just go. I don't want you wasting your time here"  
This wasn't the Lance he knew. He knew Lance didn't like others to see his pain, but Lance was actually telling him to leave. He wasn't faking being ok, not with that usual smile he gave. He just really didn't want him here... even if Keith wanted to stay. Releasing him, Lance pushed at his chest  
"Leave"  
"Lance..."  
"Please Keith. This isn't fair"  
"I'm going to be right here when you wake up"  
"I'm sorry, but we really need to get him into surgery. I must insist you leave"  
Lance was already looking away from him. His friend was scared and smaller than he remembered. This wasn't right, and he wasn't going to ignore the fact that all of this had come from the fact that apparently Lance had only wanted a friend. If Lance had changed to be "a better fit" for him, just how cruel had the others been to him?

Waiting outside Lance's room until he was wheeled off for surgery, Keith hadn't even realised Coran was still hovering. He'd forgotten about the man completely, jumping when Coran placed his hand on his shoulder  
"Keith? How is he?"  
Biting down his growl, Keith took a breath  
"Not great. He calmed down once I got to him, but he's really not ok"  
Coran sniffled, his eyes welling with tears again  
"He asked me to leave him alone to think. I did not think he'd start screaming"  
"You know Lance. Too curious for his own good. He took a look at his leg"  
"I told him not to. He said he wasn't comfortable"  
"It's alright Coran. I think it's just a combination of everything, and being stuck in bed isn't helping that"  
"When I told him Pidge was working on that tablet thing, he seemed really rather surprised"  
"Yeah... that's another thing. We're going to have to have a team meeting. I know everyone's still tired, but the sooner we talk, the better"  
"I shall find Romelle and Allura. Shiro left before"  
"He went to go tell Pidge that we need the pod. The vines stabilising his leg tore through, so they've taken him into surgery. They'll probably finish correcting his leg, so he's going to be in there for a while"  
Coran wrapped his arms around him, sobbing against his shoulder. Awkwardly Keith hugged him back. He really wasn't a hugger... but he'd definitely gotten better   
"Coran. He'll be ok, and we're all going to work to make him feel better. Now we need to round up the others. Let's meet back in dining area, in say, half a varga?"  
Coran released him, giving him a salute before dashing off. You definitely wouldn't see that in the Blade of Marmora"

Rather than facing everyone Keith called Shiro, who was still with Pidge and Hunk. Explaining they were having a team meeting, Shiro gave him a concerned look. Nearly half a varga to the tick, the team joined him in the dining area. All of them looking like he'd disturbed them during something of the utmost importance. This new side of him wasn't impressed. This was about Lance. Lance who always went above and beyond for all of them. When Pidge huffed while dropping into her seat, his fingertips gripped the table so hard he felt them sink in. He gave them all a tick to get settled before rising to his feet, scowling at the lot of them. 

"Keith, why don't you explain why we are all here?"  
Keith shot Shiro a glare, Shiro frowning back in confusion  
"This is about Lance"  
Pidge rolled her eyes  
"We all know that"  
"Then did you know him being i hospital is our fault. Not just mine, but all of us?"  
"I... it's not like we meant to collide"  
"I'm not talking about that. You know something different is going on with both me and with him. His body is changing to be more suitable as a partner for me"  
Keith winced at his own words  
"What does that mean?"  
"The herb Lance ate physically changed his body. He's becoming dependant on me. If I ask him to do something, he does. No matter what it is. Now. This herb normally works on strong feelings, usually romantic feelings"  
"But Lance liked Allura! Even after she shot him down"  
"Pidge!"  
Hunk elbowed her in the side, while Allura shuffled uncomfortably  
"However, in Lance's case, its because he thinks none of you like him. He said it himself. He only wanted a friend. For this to happen when all he wanted was a friend, that must mean he truly believes none of you care for him"  
"That's no true! He has no right to say that!"  
"That's enough Pidge"  
"Hunk..."  
"No. It's true... when was the last time he hung out with any of us"  
"That's his problem. If he wanted to hang out, all he had to do was ask"  
"Lance shouldn't have to ask. He was being bullied by Shiro. He was rejected by Allura. Shunned by everyone. He's always tried to help. To do his best. He loved being part of Voltron, but now he's in bed alone, thinking we all hate him"  
"He's just being dramatic. It's not like we hate him"  
Keith growled, baring his teeth at a shocked Pidge, while at the other end of the table his mother was barely hiding her laughter   
"You keep acting like its all for attention"  
"Isn't it? Lance was always flirting and joking. Are you surprised we would think that it was?"  
"Seriously! Just how much did Voltron change while I was gone? Lance would go above and beyond for all of you. I am now bonded to him until we can find a solution, and I expect you guys to grow up and start making a real effort"  
"He's the one not making an effort. He could have come and hung out with us any time. We would have let him. Besides, we've all been busy planning to defeat Lotor. It's not like he helped"  
"Did he not help because he didn't want to, or did you send him away and make him feel useless?"  
Shiro cleared his throat  
"I have all of Kuron's memories. Lance was always asking if he could help. No matter how many times you pushed him away or called him annoying"  
Pidge looked down to her hands  
"You all made him feel so useless that he was actually looking forward to me coming back"  
"We didn't mean too..."  
"He's too touchy! We didn't even treat him any differently!"  
"Pidge we teased him over Allura..."  
"You teased him too!"  
"Because I didn't think he liked Allura as much as he did. He's always flirted and it's never got him anywhere..."  
"He can't have liked her too much if he's bonded to Keith!"  
"Guys. I wanted to have an actual conversation about all of this. So for Allura hasn't even said anything. Pidge, you've done nothing but run him down. Hunk, we all know you like Pidge, but he used to be your best friend. How can you go from best friends to not friends in a matter of phoebs? Shiro, I know you're sorry over abusing Lance, but you've stayed away since. He even asked me to leave him alone because he feels he's wasting my time. This isn't ok. We couldn't form Voltron, even if we tried"  
Allura looked to him, unusually meek  
"Keith, there's something we should talk about"  
"Is it to do with Lance?"  
"Yes, but I feel he wouldn't want everyone knowing"  
"Fine. Everyone other than Allura is dismissed. I expect you to make a real effort at understanding what you've put him through"

Allura waited until everyone other Shiro and his mother had left. Brushing her hair back from her face, Allura gave a sad smile  
"What's this about Lance?"  
"He died"  
"He what?"  
"He took a shot meant for me and he died. I brought him back the same way I brought Shiro back... I... he didn't mention it, so I thought perhaps he was embarrassed"  
Keith felt like he'd been punched in the guts. Lance had died. No wonder he didn't want to close his eyes. He was probably scared he'd never wake up again. Why hadn't he told him? Or any of them? He must have been terrified to climb back into Red, and then to be left alone on that barren planet for a phoeb... it wasn't fair. Keith's voice shook  
"Thank you for letting me know. Can I ask you not to mention it to the others"  
"Surely..."  
"Allura. If Lance knew they all knew he'd died, he'd believe they were only being nice to him because of that. If it's one thing he hates, it's pity. I'm going to return to the hospital and wait for him to come out of surgery. Until then, if the others want to talk to you over what I just said, bare in mind not to tell them Lance died"  
"I understand"

Allura left, leaving the three of them  
"Keith, are you sure Lance only wanted a friend?"  
Trust his mother to go straight to that  
"That's what he said"  
"It's just... that isn't how the herb usually works. If he was in love with Allura, even after being rejected, those feelings should still be there. And Allura should have been the one he bonded to"  
"Well Lance isn't Galra"  
"Still. Shiro, did Lance give you any indication that he may have feelings for Keith?"  
"I'm sorry Krolia. Things were pretty strained between Lance and I. Kuron's seemed to take a particular pleasure in tormenting Lance"  
His mother sighed, shaking her head  
"I think he does have feelings for you"  
"If he does, why wouldn't he just tell me?"  
"You said he sees himself as a burden. Perhaps he doesn't want to drag you down?"  
"He wouldn't drag me down..."  
"Keith, are you seriously considering dating Lance? Because now is not the time to be getting into a serious relationship. He needs time to heal"  
"I don't mean it like that. It's more like... he's always had my back. Even with his stupid rivalry"  
"You and Lance were getting closer before you left"  
"Shiro. Just say it. I know you well enough to know that you're holding back"  
Shiro gave him a half smile  
"I think that you have feelings for Lance, and I think Lance has feelings for you, even though he may have been in love with Allura, he was still really happy when you returned"  
Keith's eyes widened. So it wasn't just his mum who thought that way  
"You need to sit down and think about this. Just what does Lance mean to you, and what do you mean to him"  
"How am I supposed to look at this objectively when we're bonded like this?"  
"Think about how you felt about him before you were infected..."  
"I don't know. I didn't even know how to tell you that I loved you like a brother"  
"Feelings were never your strong point, but perhaps this happened for a reason. You deserve to be happy, Keith"  
"You just told me not to date him"  
"I'm not telling you to date him, but you can still spend time with him. You said he's lonely, and that he just wanted a friend. You can be that friend"  
"I'm not a great friend..."  
"Isn't that for Lance to decide?"  
"How can he decide when he's stuck obeying everything I say?"  
"Have you thought about telling him not to?"  
Keith looked to his mother   
"Does it work that way?"  
"I honestly don't know, but if you're scared of what's happening between you, than be open with him over it all"  
"I feel like the two of you don't even know me"  
Both Krolia and Shiro snorted  
"I think at this point, we know you better than you know yourself"  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
Shiro winked at Krolia and Krolia nodded, silently the pair seemed to be sharing something... something that went right over his head  
"That's it. I'm going to go see Lance"  
"He's in surgery"  
"Then I'll wait"  
"He'll be in the healing pod afterwards"  
"Then I'll wait there. Anywhere has to be better than being here with the two of you"  
"Why don't you take Yorak with you? He's missed you"  
"Yeah. Maybe. At least he isn't annoying like you two"


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting in his hospital bed, Lance was pointedly ignoring Keith. When he'd woken up back in his room, he found it somewhat more cheerful. In the corner were what seemed to be balloons, above what seemed to be paper flowers in a vase. Thanks to the angle though, he couldn't be completely sure and thanks to the fact he wasn't allowed to walk around, he couldn't take a closer look. He was supposed to be allowed to get up. He was supposed to be allowed to walk around. This was the second quintant since waking, and they still wouldn't let him up. The only good thing about finally having his leg fixed was the fact he could now roll on his left side... and stare at the bare wall, which was preferable to Keith. He didn't know what to say. He'd completely freaked out, and he'd been screaming so loud. Keith probably thought he was a freak or something, and for all his crying he didn't actually feel any better. He didn't want to be stuck in this stupid room. He didn't want to be stuck in this stupid hospital. He wanted to be on his way home. Away from here. Away from Keith... with a long whine, Yorak stretched out in hold. The space wolf had decided to appear in his bed while he was sleeping, and now refused to leave. Even for food. When it came to feeding, Yorak would huff before giving Lance the most pathetic look, as if telling him he was way too weak to possibly lift a paw and help himself. Nosing at him with his cold wet nose, the wolf sneezed at him, sending wet snot across his neck. Giving the wolf the filthiest look his could, Lance wiped at the mess with his busted right hand. The healing pod had healed it wrong. Each time he moved pins and needles shot up his arm, yeah... it hurt and falling to the floor probably hadn't helped. Sneezing again, Yorak wasn't apologetic at all  
"Sneeze a third time and you're out"  
From the other side of the bed came Keith's sleepy voice  
"Did you say something?"  
"I told Yorak if he sneezed on me again, he was getting evicted"  
Oh for fucks sake. Keith didn't need to know what he'd said   
"He seems pretty attached to you"  
"He's a good wolf..."  
"He is. Even though he doesn't seem to want to leave your bed"  
"He can stay. I'll go"  
"Lance"  
"I'm sick of being in bed"  
"You have to listen to the doctors"  
"Does that mean I don't have to listen to you?"  
"Actually. Now that you're talking to me, there's something I want to talk about"  
"What is it?"  
"I was talking to mum and Shiro about this..."  
Lance's hand tightened around the fistful of Yorak's fur he'd been stroking. Keith had no right   
"They suggested maybe I tell you to go back to acting how you did before you were infected. Just go back to who you were before"  
Lance opened and closed his mouth. This thing inside him felt trampled. He was being told to give up feeling what he felt and it didn't know how to. Blinking away the forming tears, he buried his face against the pillow   
"Lance?"  
"You don't want me..."  
"What? What are you talking about?"  
"It says you don't want me"  
"It? What is it?"  
"This other me... inside me"  
"Wait. You feel it too? Like a little voice in the back of your head with its own feelings and thoughts?"  
"Yes... it wants to be so good for you... it wants to obey you, but now it's confused"  
"Sooo that command didn't work. Ok. I'm sorry. I just wanted you to be able to think and act freely"  
Why did Keith even bother trying to talk to him? He'd spent the whole previous day just silently sitting there, but the moment Lance told Yorak off, Keith had to butt in. If Keith didn't want to be here, why was he?

Falling back into the same silence as before, Lance wished something would break the tension. He didn't have anything to say, because he didn't know what his mouth would actually allow him to get out. He wanted out of bed and he wanted a hot shower, and then to sleep somewhere Keith wouldn't find him. He didn't want to keep taking up Keith's time... but at the same time, it was starting to actually hurt to ignore Keith. His heart felt like it was being squeezed, while his whole body felt cold. He wanted Keith to climb into bed beside him, but there was no way he could ask for that. Keith would be revolted at him. However, once Lance's wish was granted, he immediately wished it hadn't been.

Announcing his arrival with a soft knock, Hunk shuffled into the room. The moment of aroma of warm cookies met the, Yorak teleported out his arms, Hunk yelling as the wolf barrelled into him  
"Yorak! Down!"  
"Sorry Hunk. He's usually much better behaved than this"  
"These cookies are for Lance, not for you"  
Hunk had baked cookies for him? Why would he do that? They weren't even friends anymore...  
"Lance, Hunk is here. Why don't you sit up?"  
Lance found himself sitting up, despite not wanting to. Eyeing Hunk, he tried to force a smile, but it fell short and felt more like a grimace   
"Hey buddy. Keith said you were awake, so I made you some cookies"  
"You didn't have to do that"  
"I wanted to. You know me. I love to bake..."  
Hunk was trying too hard, it was written all over his face. His best friend had never been great at lying... his ex-best friend...   
"Uh... oh, I suppose I should actually give them to you. I've been trying to make something close to choc chip. Of course it's hard without actual chocolate, and without flour and... never mind. They taste good"

Setting the plate down in Lance's lap, Hunk wrinkled his nose  
"Dude, what is that smell?"  
"They won't let me shower"  
"Lance, you've got to stay in bed. You heard what the doctor said"  
"How are you feeling?"  
Lance looked to Keith, his mind screaming at him that he hadn't been given permission to speak   
"Lance?"  
"Lance, it's ok to talk to Hunk. It's ok to talk to everyone, about whatever you want"  
"Whoa... I didn't think it was true"  
Lance looked back to Hunk  
"You didn't think what was true?"  
"Keith said you're stuck doing whatever he says..."  
"So Keith told you all about what was happening"  
Hunk nervously pushed the tips of his pointer fingers together   
"He was worried about you"  
"So he told you all about how I'm feeling. You didn't need to come. I would have been fine"  
"You're... bud, it's not like that"  
"Really? You didn't bake this because Keith made you feel bad?"  
"I. What. No. With everything happening, I thought you might like them"  
"Hunk. You were my best friend. I can tell when you're lying and when you're uncomfortable. If you don't want to be my friend, that all you have to say. All you had to say..."  
Keith cut him short of spilling the rest of his feelings over how his friend had treated him  
"Lance, I think that's enough"  
"Pidge and I didn't mean to exclude you. It was just easier if we did what needed to be done alone. We didn't even realise how much we hurt you... we're both really sorry"  
We. We. We. Not Hunk, but him and Pidge. And if Pidge was sorry, why wasn't she here? Closing his eyes, Lance wished he could reply. Instead he left his eyes closed until he heard Hunk moving towards the door  
"I, uh, I guess I'll come back and see you another time. We really miss you"

Hunk left, Yorak immediately teleporting up onto Lance's feet, his nose nudging the plate as his eyes silently begged for a cookie  
"They do feel bad... would you like me to leave? You and Hunk could spend spent time together"  
"No"  
"No you don't want me to leave? Or no you don't want to spend time with Hunk"  
"Hunk didn't want to be here"  
Keith sighed, moving to lift the plate from Lance's lap  
"Lance, he wouldn't have come to see you if he didn't want to"  
"No one wants to see me"  
"Why are you being like this? I don't understand"  
"Of course you don't understand. The team likes you. It's me they hate"  
"They don't hate you"  
"They do! And now I can't even control my own body or what I say! I couldn't even tell Hunk to leave because you didn't give me permission!"  
"You don't need my permission to be yourself. You never need my permission. You're ok the way you are"  
"If I was ok the way I was, I wouldn't be here... I shouldn't be here"  
"Because you died?"  
Lance struggled to breathe. Since when did Keith know about that. Gripping the blankets, he dropped his gaze to Yorak  
"Don't look like that. Allura told me because she was worried about you. Why didn't you tell us?"  
"I honestly thought no one would care. Besides, Shiro died. Everyone should have been thinking about him, not me"  
"Why do you have to do that to yourself? You're always running yourself down... I don't understand it"  
"Because I'm useless... I never do anything right"  
"You know that's not true. No one thinks you're useless..."  
"You heard Hunk! He and Pidge thought I was in the way! I'm always in the way"  
Starting to cry, Yorak crawled up to seat himself in Lance's lap. Lance hiding his face in the wolf's fur as his sniffles grew louder  
"You're not always in the way. You're an important part of the team"  
"How?"  
"You're always there. You're always backing us up. You're the Red Paladin"  
"I shouldn't be... everyone's better than I am"  
"That's not true"  
Keith might say that, but he didn't exactly give him any examples of how he was actually useful  
"Look. I'm not good at this whole talking to people thing, but you always have been. You're the one who always know what to say. And you backed me up when I wasn't sure about being the Black Paladin"  
"Because you're a good leader..."  
"Only because you're there"  
"Ke-Keith..."  
He didn't mean to reach out for Keith, but to his surprised the man climbed onto the bed, letting him displace Yorak so he could hug him  
"I don't want to be like this"  
"We'll fix you up"  
"I hate it. I hate being in here"  
Nuzzling into Keith's neck, he didn't know to describe the scent coming off the man other than as soothing. It was like Keith was calming him down without the hushing or the rocking. Despite knowing he should probably pull away, and that Keith would probably shove him away sooner rather than later, it felt nice to have him up against him. To feel Keith's warm breath across his ear, and his hand against the small of Lance's back... it felt more than nice. He didn't want to let Keith go  
"I know. You've never been great at being patient, but you're still healing and without the castle powering the pod, it's gonna take a while"  
"Then can't I leave? I want to take a shower. I want to... I don't know, but whatever it is, it's not laying here"  
"Lance, you can't use your right arm without being in pain"  
"How do you know it hurts?"  
"It's weird, but I guess I can smell it on you... like right now, I can smell how upset you are"  
"Are you sniffing me?"  
"No. I just can't not smell you"  
"That's really weird"  
"Says the guy with his face buried against my neck"  
Lance tried to wriggle away. He didn't know why Keith would say that. When he wasn't letting him move away from him  
"I'm sorry... you must find this weird"  
"Just a little, but it's not too bad. I'll shoot you if you tell anyone I said that"  
"I was doubting it was really you, but no one threatens bodily harm quite like you do"  
"I'm not that bad"  
"Mr Sleeps-with-a-knife-under-his-pillow"  
"At least you get to sleep somewhere nice"  
"This room isn't awful"  
"I don't like it. I don't like being here"  
"At least you're not stuck eating food goo"  
"I think I would prefer it. Olkari food tastes horrible..."  
"Worse than Coran's cooking?"  
"It's up there"  
"I'll see if we can get you something better"  
"It'd be better if you'd just let me out of here"  
"Or you could just stay here, and behave yourself"  
"You make it sound like I never behave"  
"You should work on it"  
Lance felt that same pull he felt whenever Keith told him to do something. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair  
"I didn't mean... I don't know how to stop making you feel like you have to do things"  
"I don't either..."  
"Maybe we can ask mum? Or the Blades about the herb?"  
"Coran said he'd find a cure"  
"Then I'm sure he will. Have you calmed down enough to sleep?"  
"Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm just so frustrated"  
"I don't think I've ever heard you apologise this much before"  
"I can't stop myself"  
"You're alright. You just need some more sleep. Tomorrow they'll be operating on your wrist..."  
"And then I can get out of here?"  
"Not so fast. You're going to need physiotherapy. Your leg was pretty messed up"  
"I can't remember. I remember crashing and thinking I was going to die again, but I can't remember being alone"  
"You didn't die. You don't need to keep remembering"  
"I think... I think maybe I wanted to"  
Keith growled, pulling him tighter against him. His voice firmer than normal  
"You're not going to die. And you don't want to die. We're going to go back to Earth, and you're going to go back to surfing or whatever you do at a beach"  
"Have you ever been to the beach?"  
Keith didn't answer  
"Seriously! How could you have not been the beach? What's wrong with you?"  
"There's nothing wrong with me"  
"You have to come to the beach.  
When we get home, I'm taking you to the beach. I don't care if it's the middle of winter, you're going to the beach"  
"You really love it, don't you?"  
"You have no idea"  
"You'd be surprised. I can smell you remember. Your scent's changed to something much nicer, and that the happiest you've sounded in quintants"  
"Oh..."  
"It's not a bad thing. You don't have to get so uptight"  
"I know it's not the same for you, but I really miss home. I'm not like everyone else. I don't belong out here"  
"You do. Blue chose you to pilot her, and then Red"  
"Only because you needed to become the Black Paladin"  
"Which I couldn't have done without your support"  
"You know, you're not as insufferable as you used to be"  
"I was never insufferable"  
"Maybe not... but you've... you've lost the gloom that was hanging around you. You're much more confident..."  
"Well I am two years older than I was"  
"I know... to think I worked so hard to catch up to your level..."  
"You wanted to catch up to me?"  
"Well dah. Why do you think I declared you by rival? I only got promoted at the Garrison because you got kicked out..."

 

*  
"Well dah. Why do you think I declared you by rival? I only got promoted at the Garrison because you got kicked out..."  
Lance was getting sleepy. Keith could smell it. It was weird being able to smell all Lance's emotions, but it wasn't bad. Instead, Lance's scent was helping him understand just what his friend meant. As weird as this new side to him was, and despite the fact he'd never have climbed into bed with Lance like this, for the second time that movement, he wasn't repulsed by it. The other side of him was actually enjoying feeling Lance again him, while Lance himself had seemed to perk a little bit. He'd never realised how wrong it felt when Lance was sad. It just didn't suit him. Maybe Hunk coming in had been for the best? It got Lance finally talking to him, not just laying in bed looking everywhere but at him. Though it hadn't worked out how'd he expected   
"Keith, you can let go if you want. You don't have to stay"  
"If I leave you alone, you're going to get sad again"  
"I'm not going to get sad. I can't stop myself from crying over everything"  
"How about I tell you to stop crying?"  
"That's not fair. But it's better it's you than Pidge. Pidge would love making make a fool of myself"  
"Well, you haven't got out of hospital yet..."  
"You wouldn't"  
"I might. I'll have to think about it"  
Lance groaned, nuzzling against his neck again... and wow did that feel way too good. This other side of him never wanted Lance to stop... he was going to have to seriously think about how to handle this. He didn't not like Lance, but if they couldn't cure this, was he really ready to be with him? They were still fighting Sendak. He didn't have time for a relationship and embarrassingly enough, he'd never dated before... Lance probably had. He'd probably even had his first kiss long ago, and sex... if his dreams were anything to go by, sex felt amazing. But did he want to have sex with Lance? Feeling a slight twitch of his penis, he took that to mean yes... fuck. He wanted to have sex with Lance?!? When was that a thing? Why was a that a thing?! Oh god... he needed to get out of here. His mind now making leaps of its own. Lance sprawled across his bed, his long legs bent as his chest rose in huffy pants. The way he moaned. The warmth around him... no... shit... ok. This was too much.

With a Herculean effort, Keith forced his mind elsewhere and firmly kept it there until Lance started to snore. With all the drugs in his system, Lance would probably be asleep for a while and Keith really needed to hit something. This new side to him was digging up feelings and emotions he didn't know he had, and he didn't understand them. He didn't know to do or say. And how was he supposed to look Lance in the eye? What was he supposed to say to him? "Hey, funny thing, I just about popped a boner while you were cuddling into me. I think I might want to stick it in you". There was no way he could say that! Carefully extracting himself for Lance's hold, Lance's scent filled with panic, yet he remained sleeping. Quiznak. Fuck. Shit  
"Yorak, stay with him. You're not leave his side and no eating cookies"  
Yorak was happy to jump into the spot he'd just vacated. Lance automatically rolling to curl around the wolf as his scent settled. Ok. Now he just needed to find someone to talk to, and as embarrassing as it was, only one person would do.

His mother was cleaning her blade as Keith walked into the room he was sharing with both her and Shiro. His frown must have been evident as she immediately placed the blade to the side, before patting the space next to her on her bed  
"Mum... I think I have a problem"  
"You have plenty of them, but I'm guessing this one involves Lance?"  
Sitting beside her, she wrapped an arm around his shoulder  
"What happened?"  
"I think... well. He was upset"  
"You upset him?"  
"No. Maybe. Hunk brought him some cookies and Lance got pretty upset because they hadn't been talking or anything, so Hunk left and Lance was upset"  
"If it's between Hunk and Lance, you can't solve their problems for them"  
"Well... he reached out for me. Lance can be pretty emotional, but I've never seen him like this. He said he couldn't stop crying. And he can't stop doing what I say. So I let him hug me... and... it felt ok..."  
"You're upset because a hug felt nice?"  
"I said it felt ok"  
"You're version of ok is a bit different from mine. So you hugged him"  
"Well, he was really upset and saying things like he wished he was dead. So I just laid there and let him hug me. He was like nuzzling into my neck, and it made him feel better. I could smell it..."  
"I knew you liked him"  
"Do I? Or is it just this things between us? Because I was seriously thinking of doing other stuff and I couldn't get my mind off it. I thought the symptoms were supposed to clear up, but when I'm with him... I want to hug him and make him feel better"  
"I've called Kolivan to ask him for any data he has on the herb, but from what I've seen of your memories and from what I know of you. Keith, you liked him before you left"  
"Did I? I don't know. I don't remember and now, I don't know what to say or do. I don't want him to think he has to be with me. I just want Lance to be himself. And before you ask, I told him that, but that confused the other side of him. I don't know what to say to him"  
"If you didn't like him, you wouldn't be so worried about hurting him"  
"He thinks I'm his only friend. What if he doesn't like me back?"  
"His body wouldn't have changed to suit you if he didn't"  
"But he was alright the way he was before"  
Keith's eyes widened at his own words  
"Do I like Lance?"  
"I think you do. And I think this is a conversation you're going to need to have with him"  
"How can I? He's still recovering"  
"His next operation is tomorrow, is it not?"  
"His arm. It's causing him pain. The pod has healed the internal bruising, and even the stuff going on with his brain and skull... or healed what was already healing the way it was healing. He's going to need rehab from being off his feet for the last three movements"  
"And he'll need someone there while he is"  
"He's going to think it's just because of this thing between us..."  
"Maybe it was a blessing in disguise?"  
"Mum, how can this be a blessing? He's scared and thinks no one likes him. He's always been fussy over his image, imagine what it's going to be like when he finds out he can get pregnant. He's not going to be ok with that"  
"Keith, if you and Lance do decided to date, or if you decide to try and find a cure, it's something you and Lance both need to agree on. Dating doesn't mean you have to jump right into sex"  
"I... the other me... I think it wants him, like he was my property. He's not my property. He's my friend and fellow Paladin. We can't start dating while fighting off Sendak"  
"Why not? You deserve happiness, and so does he"  
"I really don't understand this and it's frustrating. I'm sick of seeing him cry. I want to shake him by shoulders and tell him to be himself"  
"Everyone has a face they show the world and one they keep inside. Maybe you're just seeing the side he is too afraid to show others?"  
"That's not making me feel any better"  
"Look, just wait until Kolivan contacts me. We'll know more then"  
"Yeah. I guess. I better head back"  
"Or, you could take a shower and get some sleep"  
"He doesn't like being in hospital and the food isn't great"  
"Then I'll go see him. I'll bring him some of Hunk's cooking"  
"No... I'm the leader of Voltron"  
"Which means you need to be ready if something happens. So go take a shower, get a few vargas sleep and then you can visit him. Maybe one of the others will want to?"  
"I don't know. He couldn't even talk to Hunk properly because I told him off when he was about to lose it at Hunk. It's exhausting"  
"We'll figure this out. You're not alone anymore, and you haven't been for some time"


	5. Chapter 5

Lance knew he was supposed to stay in bed, but he was bored. Krolia had come to see him, or rather had been there when he'd woken up from his nap... which he was still struggling to believe had really happened. He'd fallen asleep in Keith's arms. Keith. The grungy emo that glared at the world. His arms. The warm protective scent had lingered long after he'd woken, like it had soaked right into him. Krolia had stayed with him until they'd given him the good painkillers, the one with the sedative... which were even better when coupled with the food she'd snuck into the hospital. Unlike Keith, Krolia was talkative, happy to ask him all about Earth, and patient enough to listen to him prattle on about everything he missed. Even if it was out of pity, it'd been nice to talk to about his family.

What hadn't been nice was falling asleep and waking 3 quintants later, to find everyone was off world and it was just him and Yorak, Shiro, Krolia, Coran and Romelle were probably still around, after all his doctor had said the others were just picking up supplies, but this thing inside him panicked over the lack of Keith. So squashing down his fears the best he could, he'd stared at the ceiling until he finally snapped. There was more to life than laying in a bed, and desperately wanted to shower.

It was not a good plan.

Given he hadn't walked in so long, his legs didn't want to hold him. Almost the tick his feet had touched the floor and gone to stand, he'd fallen off the bed and onto the floor with a painful thud. Thoroughly embarrassed, his only comfort had been that Keith hadn't been there to see him. He'd never live that down. Teleporting himself down to Lance's level, Yorak let him drag himself up, patiently standing still despite the fact Lance accidentally pulled his fur. Hunched over with both hands on the wolf's back, Lance had to work to get to the bathroom, sweat rolling down his face by the time he reached the door. Holy quiznak. That was more exhausting than training against both Keith and Shiro. When his legs gave out again, he decided he wasn't above crawling, not when the reward was an unsupervised hot shower.

Reaching the shower cubicle, Lance stripped off the thin gown and pants they'd put him, throwing them as far away from the shower as he could. He didn't want them back. He wanted his own clothes. Or at the very least, he wanted his towelling robe. Smiling at Yorak, he reached up and fumbled the taps on, Yorak yipping and growling at the falling water  
"What's the matter, do you want a bath?"  
Yorak really wasn't sure  
"Fine by me. I'm just going to enjoy this. You can wait by the door"  
Trotting off, Yorak plopped down in the doorway with a loud huff   
"I'm going to have to tell Keith that you're a total pervert"  
When the wolf didn't answer, Lance shrugged, raising his arm to feel around for the bar of soap he was sure had to be there. Instead of picking it up, he managed to knock it down, smacking himself on the head  
"Real smooth Lance. If they could see you now, they'd never let you shower again. I guess it's time to get the worst of it over"  
By the worst of it, he meant actually looking at his body. He'd picked up new scars... a lot of new scars. The one running over his hip and down his thigh was definitely the worse, though it did give the one on the back of his leg a run for its money. It must have come from when he'd fallen out of bed. Seriously. What the hell was wrong with him? Why did he have to freak out like that? He'd always been able to smile and joke to cover his depression and anxieties before... was it because it was Keith? Or was it that stupid herb? Wait. Coran has said something about a womb? What did that mean? No... he should wash himself down first... but he had no idea how long he had in the shower. Placing the soap down next to him, Lance slid his arse forward as he spread his legs, well aware that there was nothing he could say if he was found in this position. With a shaking hand, he closed his eyes as he slid it down between his legs. It didn't feel any different... not until his fingers brushed over his opening and his eyes shot open. Holy quiznak... he was... wet?! Like a girl? And since when did it actually feel good to touch himself there? He'd always thought it as dirty... or at least he had since the incident... but this... capturing his bottom lip with his teeth, he tentatively rubbed at the ring of muscle. It felt really good... good enough that it didn't take much to get him half hard. No longer shaking, he pushed a fingertip into himself, gasping as the sensation spreading from the spot. Ok. Yeah. His body had definitely changed. It felt good, but it also felt like it wasn't enough. He knew he was supposed to take it slow, but pulling the first finger out, he was quick to push two back in, his penis throbbing as he moaned. Fuck... this was so much better than jerking off. Working his fingers as deep as he could, he slowly built an awkward rhythm as he rocked against them, spilling more of that same strange wetness down his arse. His other hand went to his dick, jerking himself off almost desperately as he chased the feeling of his rising orgasm. Usually it took him a while to cum, his memories and feelings sometimes making it impossible, but quiznak, he'd barely lasted a few doboshes before coming across his hand and stomach, his arse throbbing in time with his heart, while a needy feeling welled in the pit of his stomach. He needed something... something... no... someone inside him. Yanking his fingers out, Lance grabbed the soap again, scrubbing himself until his skin was as red as his tear filled eyes. He'd just done that... and now all he could think about was Keith and the fact Keith would be disgusted with him.

Still feeling dirty, Lance was too boneless and too lightheaded to move from the shower floor. His stomach kept rolling as he threw up in his mouth. The comfort of the hot water was now only making him more nauseous, and when he'd tried to crawl from the shower, he'd fallen to his side, unable to move. Even Yorak had finally grown tired of him, the wolf vanishing sometime during his jerk off session. He didn't blame him. He wasn't much to look at, even before he'd gotten himself hurt. He was no match for Keith. Doubly so now his friend had matured two years beyond his reach. Coming back looking so collected and confident, with his stupid muscles and perfect hair. He'd worked so hard. He'd been looking forward to the days where they could train together again. But now the castle was gone, and Lance was whatever he was... he'd never get to have those days. Keith was out of his reach... out his league. It was just like his first year of high school all over again.

Crying on the bathroom floor, Lance didn't even notice Yorak had returned, bringing Shiro with him. Even when the water stopped, he didn't notice. No. It wasn't until Shiro squatted down in front of him and forced him up that he finally realised he wasn't alone. If he wasn't feeling so shit, he would have been embarrassed by everything  
"Lance, are you ok?"  
Shaking his head, Lance was beyond exhausted  
"You're supposed to be resting"  
Flinching at the light scold in Shiro's tone, he whined as he tried to pull away. His mind seeing Kuron instead of Shiro. The others didn't know that Kuron had hit him more than once... for being incompetent, nor that he'd actually believed he'd deserved to be slapped  
"Sorry. You just scared me. Yorak was going crazy, and I can see why. Let's get you up and back into bed"  
Pulling him up by his arm, most of Lance's weight fell against Shiro as he let himself be supported back to his bed. Half trying recover some kind of modesty, his hand fell into his lap to cover himself   
"I'm going to get you a towel"  
Shiro was back in a matter of ticks, placing the towel in Lance's lap  
"Sorry, it's a bit hard to dry you down with just one hand"  
"I'm sorry... I just wanted a shower"  
"I can understand that, but you are supposed to be resting. You need to be patient"  
"Patience yields focus... I know..."  
All his words were low and mumbled, he could barely find the strength to force them out. He wasn't ready to talk to Shiro, yet here they were. Him naked and leaking that same wetness. Shiro staring down at him with his less than impressed look. And Yorak perfectly happy as his tail thumped against the floor  
"Lance, you really should dry off. You've been through a lot of surgery lately, and your immune system has taken a hit"  
"I know. Sorry"  
Sliding forward, he would have fallen again if Shiro hadn't grabbed his arm  
"Don't worry, I'm not looking"  
That was something. Due to feeling like shit and the room swimming each time he moved his head, it took a small eternity to dry himself down, letting the towel fall to the floor once he was done   
"I don't have any clothes..."  
"I don't think anyone is going to mind"  
Helping him into his bed, Lance pulled the blankets up to his stomach before giving up, and sinking back against the pillows. Frowning at sight, Shiro pulled the blankets up to his shoulders for him, his hand then moving towards Lance's face, causing him to once again flinch away  
"Lance. I know what Kuron did to you wasn't fair, but I don't want to hurt you"  
"I know. 's not your fault"  
"I really am sorry you were hurt by him"  
"'s ok. Just sleepy"  
"Then get some sleep. I'd like to stay with you, if that's alright"  
No. He wanted to be alone. But... Shiro needed this. He needed Lance to forgive him. Nodding with a hum was the best he could manage.

 

*  
Running to hospital from Black, Keith had no idea what he was heading into. His mother had greeted him at the end of Black's mouth, saying something about Shiro being down with Lance, and something about Lance having an accident? He'd taken off running before she'd even had a chance to fully explain. Lance was supposed to be in bed. How could he have possibly managed to have an accident, while in bed? And why hadn't Shiro called to let him know? They all knew he was in charge of Lance's medical care. There was no reason not to tell him!

Reaching Lance's room, the door all but burst inwards as he rushed into the room. His other side was a mess of worry for their friend, but it was more than that. There was a genuine fear that Lance was had seriously hurt himself again. Coming up short, Keith took a tick to survey the sight. Lance was sleeping against Yorak, while Shiro was kicked back in the visitors chair  
"Keith, you're back? How was the mission?"  
Screw the mission  
"Shiro. What happened?"  
"Lance is fine. He just needed a little help getting out the shower"  
"Mum said he had an accident"  
"I don't know for sure. He was crying on the bathroom floor"  
"He was crying again?"  
"He calmed down when I helped him up. He's been sleeping off and on all afternoon"  
"Did he say what happened?"  
"No. He seemed pretty embarrassed about it all"  
"That sounds about right"  
Walking over Lance's bed, Shiro moved his legs so he could come to Lance's side and take his hand   
"He's cold"  
"He's fine. The doctor already came and checked in with him. He wasn't too happy that Lance had managed to take a shower, but it didn't do any harm"  
"Did he eat?"  
"A few spoonfuls"  
"The food here isn't great"  
"At least it's edible. How was the mission?"  
"Fine. We encountered a scouting ship on the way back, but took care of it. Do you know if Kolivan contacted mum yet?"  
"Not that I know of. I didn't know he was supposed to"  
"She asked him for all the data on the herb. I expect it will take time to find. How long have you been here?"  
"Roughly 8 vargas"  
"I can take over. I don't mind"  
"You just came back from a mission"  
"A mission that was successfully completed"  
"You need rest and food"  
"No. I'm ok... this other side of me doesn't want me to leave him"  
"Isn't that even more of a reason to?"  
"I get what you're getting at, but I can't explain it. I need to stay here. That's what it's telling me"  
"He's fine. Physically at any rate. He was scared I was going to hit him"  
Ohhh...  
"Shiro, you're not to blame for Kuron's actions. Lance knows that"  
"I know he does. He said so as much. It just. It hurts. He's normally so happy"  
"I know what you mean. I'm no good at comforting people"  
"You're better than you think you are"  
"I really don't know about that. Thanks for watching over him"  
"Thank Yorak. He came and got me when Lance was in the shower"  
"In that case, I know a certain spoilt wolf that will be getting a treat later. He's very attached to Lance"  
"Like you"  
"Don't"  
"Keith, if you've developed feelings for Lance..."  
"I'm not going to force him to do anything he doesn't want to. For now, we need to focus on him getting better"  
"Alright. Good job today. I expect to see you for tomorrow's debriefing?"  
"I'll be there"  
"Make you sure you get something to eat, and some rest"  
"Yes, mum"

When Shiro left, Keith stripped off his jacket, dumping it down on the chair his friend had vacated, sinking down into it. His heart still racing from the fear of Lance being hurt. What was he thinking?! He hadn't walked in movements, and he knew Lance's leg was scarred. They'd removed as much of the scar tissue as they could, but it was going to take at least a phoeb until Lance was really steady on his feet again. This was so Lance. Probably more of Lance than he'd seen since bringing him home. That thought was way too comforting. Lance doing something stupid and hurting himself shouldn't make him feel better about things. Sniffing cautiously, Keith found Lance's scent. His friend smelt sleepy, but there weren't as many conflicting scents now. The smell of sweat from being stuck in bed was gone, and so was some of Lance's sweetness. His other side didn't like it. There... it wasn't... there wasn't enough of his scent left in the room. Lance should smell more like him... his other half wasn't impressed, nor was it impressed about Shiro seeing Lance naked.

Lance was only asleep for varga or so before rolling over with a yawn, visibly jumping as his eyes landed on him  
"K-Keith?!"  
Squeaking his name, a light blush came across Lance's cheeks. Keith bit down his words, his own cheeks feeling warm as he'd nearly said out loud how cute Lance was  
"What? I thought Shiro was here"  
"He was. I came to check in with you after I got back from the mission"  
"I guess you heard?"  
"That you took a shower?"  
"Yeah... I'm sorry, but I felt revolting"  
"Honestly I'm not as surprised as I should have been. Causing trouble has always been your specialty"  
Lance bit his lip, giving Keith the feeling that maybe he'd crossed some invisible line. He didn't want Lance getting upset, not when he was finally acting more like himself   
"It's fine. It would have been another story if you'd hurt yourself"  
"I took Yorak with me... I just felt lightheaded from the hot water"  
"You probably haven't been drinking enough fluids now that the IV line is gone"  
"I've been too tired"  
"That's what happens when you get to relax"  
"I..."  
"I'm joking. You don't need to look so sad"  
"Sorry... I guess I'm waiting for you to yell at me"  
"I'm not going to yell at you for taking a shower, but I wish you'd waited until one of us was here"  
"I shouldn't have to have a baby sitter to shower"  
"Until you're cleared, someone's got to be there in case something goes wrong"  
"I don't see why..."  
Keith groaned   
"You make helping you hard"  
"You shouldn't have to. I should be able to do all of this on my own"  
"And you will, you just need a little help for now. Did the shower at least make you feel better?"  
The redness in Lance's cheeks grew as he drew his knees up  
"Never mind. To be honestly I probably would have done the same thing"  
"You wouldn't have needed to be rescued by Shiro... he saw me naked. What am I supposed to say when I see him next?"  
"Ask him if he enjoyed the show... wait, don't. I'm joking. He doesn't mind"  
"I mind. My body looks hideous"  
"You're fine"  
"I've got all these new scars..."  
"I thought you'd said "chicks dig scars"?"  
"Cool scars. These are scars from my own stupidity"  
"You couldn't help the fact Red crashed"  
"You wouldn't have crashed. You would have found a way to get back... what did I do? Just collapsed and laid around"  
"You stayed alive. That's the main thing"  
"What for? I can't even take a quiznakking shower on my own"  
Rising from his seat, Keith sat carefully on the bed, Yorak between him and Lance   
"Look. You can sit around and wallow, or you can do everything you need to get out of here sooner"  
"You could get me out of here..."  
"Lance..."  
"I don't have to walk. I won't walk, but I'm tired of laying around. Please Keith... I hate this place. Even if it's for half a varga, I just want to sit outside"  
If Lance was allowed to be in bed for vargas without supervision, half a varga couldn't hurt...  
"You're thinking about it..."  
"Maybe. If you promise to behave yourself"  
"Puh-lease, I always behave myself"  
"We both know that's not true. I should probably check with the doctor though"  
"No. Please. Half a varga, I'll even be on my best behaviour"  
"Do you promise?"  
"I promise on Red"  
Wow. Lance must really want out the place...  
"Yorak, down. Is there anything you need before we go?"  
"Umm... clothes. Mine are in the bathroom..."  
Lance fiddled with the edge of his blanket, while Keith's second side wanted to ripe the blanket from Lance's hands, and to bask in the view of a very naked Lance... maybe this wasn't such a great idea, but Lance smelt so happy  
"Bathroom. Right. You can wear my jacket for now, which means you just need pants"  
"But it's your jacket..."  
"So? Don't tell me you're worried about germs"  
"No... just... it's yours"  
"Either you put the jacket on, or you stay here"  
"Jacket please!"  
"That's what I thought"

Retrieving Lance's pants off the bathroom floor, Keith had to take a few deep breaths through his mouth rather than his nose. He could smell that sweet smell. His other side practically moaning for more of it, while Keith felt like a pervert. In addition to that sweet smell was another layer, one that told him Lance had been horny, and that he'd missed out. The fact that he was upset over it was nearly too much. He was Lance's friend. He shouldn't be thinking about that... or Lance naked... or how good he'd feel beneath him... nope. He couldn't go there. Stiffly marching back into Lance's room, he'd found Lance had slid his jacket on, his legs were dangling off the bed with lap covered by his blankets. Forcing himself to appear normal, he cleared his throat as he walked over to Lance's side  
"Here"  
"Thanks... hey, I don't suppose you could help me?"  
"Oh... ok"  
What was that? What was he doing? Why was he bending down to slide Lance's pants over his feet... and why was he letting Lance slide off the bed into them... without closing his eyes. Quiznak... there was that smell again. He could almost taste it... he wanted to taste it... god. What was he doing?! He couldn't do this. Lance was recovering. He wasn't going to force Lance into something he didn't want. It wasn't fair. Pulling the thin hospital pants over his thin hips, Lance gave him a small smile  
"Thank you. I probably haven't been the best company and with this thing between us, I wouldn't have blamed you if you'd run"  
"We're friends, right?"  
"Yep. Soooo. Next question, if I'm not allowed to walk, how are we doing this thing?"  
That, he hadn't thought of... carrying Lance would be easiest... and fastest... but did Lance want him to carry him? And was he going to be alright with Lance wriggling in his arms, and probably nuzzling his neck... no. His other side was dangerously close to the surface  
"I guess I'll piggy-back you"  
"Are you serious? Who are you? And where's Keith?"  
"I'll leave you here"  
"I'll behave!"  
Crouching down, Keith let Lance position himself before lifting him. His friend seemed to weigh nothing at all. They'd have to change that. Lance slung his arms over his shoulders, resting his chin on Keith's right shoulder, as he let out a sigh of happiness  
"Who would have thought you'd willingly piggyback me?"  
"You really shouldn't be so hard on yourself"  
"Is that you talking or your other side?"  
"Even if it's the other me, we both agree"  
"Aw, Keith. I knew you were secretly a nice guy"  
"Keep it up and I'll drop you"  
"You wouldn't! I mean... who would fly Red?"  
"You don't need your legs to fly"  
"No, just to get up the ramp, and into her and you know, get out of her... unless you want to carry me around for the rest of your life"  
Why did like Lance? He was stubborn and reckless... and loyal as hell... and every time he turned around, Lance always had his back... ok... he might like him more than a little... but he wasn't going there. Not now... and not anytime soon... despite what his other side wanted.

Having not answered Lance's question immediately, it felt weird to suddenly say that "he didn't mind", so Keith kept his mouth closed as he carried him through the hospital corridors. They probably looked like idiots to everyone they passed. Lance was humming softly, his breath was ghosting across Keith's ear in a way that wasn't totally disagreeable. But the way Lance kept wiggling his toes, that was starting to grate on Keith's nerves, and the fact Lance kept his legs straight out in front of them. Toes were so weird, and the two next to the big toe were longer than his big toe... and why was he even caring. They were Lance's stupid toes... what was he supposed to do about them? Cut them down? Even if he joked about it, they ran the risk of Lance's other side thinking he was serious and he was not going to be the cause of Lance loosing more blood, or having to stay in hospital any longer than necessary.

"Freedom!"  
Yelling the word as he threw his arms in the air, Keith nearly dropped Lance in surprise. Scrambling to grab hold of him, Lance wrapped his arms around him much more tightly than they had been, before nuzzling into Keith's neck   
"I... um... I know I've been a pain, but thank you for this. It really means a lot to me"  
And just like that, Keith felt his heart do something funny as his thoughts cleared. He'd actually done something to make Lance happy  
"Half a varga. That's all"  
"That's enough... I'm glad it's still night. It's stupid, but I missed looking at the stars"  
"It is stupid. We've flown past all of them"  
"You didn't have to agree so quickly"  
"I'm just calling it as I see it. Where do you want to sit?"  
There were benches near the hospital entrance, but he had a feeling Lance wouldn't want to be any closer to the hospital than he had to be  
"Umm... is it ok if we sit near the edge of the terrace?"  
"Can you be trusted not to fall off the edge, if we do"  
"Literally can't walk without help, and even then... it wasn't pretty. So no. I'm not going anywhere"  
"Alright. I don't know how I'd even begin to explain that to the others"  
"I don't think they'd mind"  
Half letting Lance drop, Lance squeaked  
"What did I say about running yourself down?"  
"That being emo and broody is your job"  
"That's not how I remember it"  
"Close enough"  
Walking over to the closest bit of ledge, Keith crouched so Lance could slide from his hold, before sitting next to him as he shuffled into position   
"Real air feels so good"  
"Real air?"  
"Well, they recycle the air in the hospital and it's not the same"  
"You really hate being in there, don't you"  
"Yeah. I just... I'm not great at being sick and alone. It brings back things I'd rather forget"  
So Lance, the self described king of life, had bad memories? Were they from space, or maybe from Earth?  
"It's not like you're going to spend the rest of your life on hospital. We still have to go to the beach"  
"Mmm. That's right. Hey, if you called Yorak, would be he come to you? Even though he's still in my hospital room?"  
"Yorak. Come"  
As requested, his wolf appeared beside them   
"That is so cool. I wish I had a cool space wolf, but all I got was a cow"  
"You jealous?"  
"Yes... I... just wish something cool would happen to me"  
"Space isn't cool enough?"  
"It's cool... but like... I don't feel like I belong here"  
"You're part of the team"  
"You weren't here Keith... things changed"  
"Tell me about it. I was stuck on a floating whale with my mother during puberty..."  
"I think I'd rather that than being on the castle"  
Wrapping an arm around Lance's waist, Lance froze, while Keith internally panicked, jerking his arm back  
"Sorry. I didn't think..."  
"No. It's ok... it just surprised me"  
"If it counts, I surprised myself"  
"I can tell... you know, back home, there was never any peace and quite. You never had your own space, and you always had someone there, even when you didn't want them to be... I guess I finally learned what it was like to be that person... you know, the annoying one that doesn't realise how annoying they are"  
"You're... ok, you're annoying, but most of the time you mean well"  
"I do... I just... being unhappy really sucks and I didn't want anyone feeling like that"  
"It's not your job to make people happy"  
"I was the second in command... it kind of went with the job"  
"Was?"  
"Well Shiro's back now... if we can fix his arm, won't he go back to Black and that means you'll go back to Red. It was better that way"  
"What about you? Do you want to go back to Blue?"  
"I felt better in Blue, but Allura and her had bonded. I couldn't come between them. I guess when I get back to Earth, I'll just stay there"  
Keith's heart did that same funny jump, but now for a completely different reason  
"Lance. You're important"  
"I don't feel like it! I was useless while Allura was falling in love and figuring things out with Lotor. I got in the way by even trying to clean things for Coran. Hunk and Pidge are both way smarter than me, and nearly every time I talked to them they'd tell me I was in the way... and Shiro. Kuron hate me. He knew I was the weak link. I just want someone to tell me I was ok. I was doing ok. That I wasn't in the way. That I wasn't stupid. But that's being selfish... it means nothing when you ask them to say it"  
"What about me? What did you think about me?"  
"I missed you. I mean. I know I'm not good with a sword, but my Bayard turns into one now... so I practiced. I thought when you came back, you'd be the same old Keith and we could train together. But you're two years older... and I'm never going to be able to change that. I missed you because I wanted my friend back... but I didn't message you because I know I'm annoying"  
"Do you hate me for changing?"  
"No. And you got to meet your mum. I'm just... just over feeling so alone"  
"You're not alone. You do know I've been down in the hospital with you whenever I can be"  
"Because I'm some how bonded to you. I never wanted this to happen... I don't want to drag you down"  
"That's it. From now on, you're not allowed to say anything mean about yourself"  
"That's not fair"  
"The Lance I know and remember was always cracking jokes and flirting. Always smiling even though things weren't great. Was all of it an act?"  
"No... not all of it"  
"Good. Look. I did try to talk to the others, but even if they haven't come, I know they miss you"  
"How?"  
"Allura doesn't talk as much when we're out in our lions. Pidge talks too much in an attempt to break the silence. Hunk is still baking. I actually think he found a way to bake inside Yellow, while we were mid-mission. Shiro. Shiro came down here to help you. And Coran has been running around trying to keep busy"  
"But they haven't said it. Hunk wouldn't have even apologised if you hadn't told him to"  
"He's your best friend. Of course he was going to apologise"  
"We had movements for him too... I should really be better at all of this"  
"You're fine. But I might have to start charging for the advice"  
"I don't blame you..."  
Tentatively wrapping his arm back around Lance's waist, Lance leaned into his hold  
"You'll get better"  
"Maybe"  
"Nope. I don't know how this ordering you around thing works, but you will get better, and you will come back to the team. It's really not the same without you there"  
Turning to look up at him, Keith found himself staring right into Lance's eyes. Despite the light being behind them, he swore he could see every single shade of blue. Clearing his throat, Lance looked away  
"I think it's been half a varga"  
"You're probably right... we should go back"  
It really hadn't been half a varga. He'd just mumbled the words to fill the space between them. His other side has desperately wanted to lean in and kiss Lance. But now the moment had passed. Rising to his feet, Keith stretched tall before looking down to Lance   
"Do you want another another piggyback, or you should I just carry up against my chest?"  
"I want to walk"  
"Not tonight. Especially when it's this dark"  
"Then I don't care"

With Lance against his chest, Keith walked through the hospital feeling like his feet were made of lead. The exhaustion he'd been ignoring now returning, and his mind was spinning around in circles trying to think of what to say once they got back to Lance's room. Before he'd had the chance to make up his mind, they were already there. Carrying Lance over to his bed, Keith laid him down carefully, not missing the way Lance's hands shook as he tried to undo his jacket   
"You can keep it on, if you want"  
"No... you might need it"  
Biting his lip, Lance was getting nowhere with zipper. His eyes filling with tears as he shook even harder  
"I'll do it"  
"I should be able to do one stupid zip"  
"You're tired and your cold. It's fine"  
Sniffling softly, Lance nodded, letting Keith pull his hands away and unzip his jacket, before helping him out of it  
"Is there anything you need?"  
"No.. you should go"  
"It's fine, I can stay"  
"I can smell you too. You're tired. I'm sorry I made you carry me"  
"I chose to carry you. Besides, it wasn't that bad, was it?"  
"No... I just feel bad"  
"Stop it. Now let's get you settled. Yorak can stay with you"  
"He's alright. He probably misses you. Take him back with you tonight"  
"Are you sure?"  
Keith didn't want to leave... but Lance was asking him so softly   
"I'm sure... I think I need to get some sleep and they'll be around sometime soon to give me something for the pain"  
"You're still in pain?"  
"My... my leg bothers me sometimes. It cramps more than it used to... and when your lower back's sore, you're supposed to keep moving and walking to stretch the muscles, but I haven't been able to do that. It's more to make the spasms not so painful, and so I sleep"  
"Alright. If it gets any worse, I want to know about it"  
"I don't really have much of a choice in that matter"  
"That's not what I meant, but if it means you're not hurting, then I want you to feel like you can honest"  
"I do... thanks... thanks for everything"  
Pulling his jacket on, Keith hid how stupid happy he felt covered in Lance's scent. His other side was roaring that Lance was his... which made it hard to help Lance position himself in bed, and pull the blankets up to cover him. Closing his eyes, Lance buried his face against his pillow  
"I'll come back in the morning. Ok?"  
"Thanks..."

 

*  
Keith slept like the dead. His jacket bundled up beside his pillow, filling his senses with the smell of Lance. It was honestly the best night sleep he'd had in a long while. Waking to feel actually refreshed, Keith took his time in the shower, something he never usually did. Once done in the bathroom, he dressed in his uniform, once again smiling slightly as the scent of Lance. Hopefully Lance had had a good night.

With Yorak at his heels, Keith headed straight to the dining room for breakfast, finding everyone else already there  
"Dude. We thought you must be dead. Do you have any idea what time it is?"  
"No..."  
"It's like mid-morning. If we were on Earth, it would be 10. You never sleep that late"  
"I guess I just needed the sleep. What's for breakfast?"  
"Cold pancakes because you're late. Did you spend all night with Lance?"  
"No. But we talked. He's not great, but that should change when he starts physio"  
Hunk's smile dropped some its charm, while Pidge dropped her dataslate with a light thud. Snatching it back up, she quickly checked for dents  
"He needs physio?"  
"Yeah. His leg was a mess. He's got this scar than runs all the way down the side of his shin"  
"He does?"  
Normally he wouldn't enjoy being cruel, but Pidge needed the wake up call  
"As well as one down his right hip, and the ones on his back from his ribs, but he probably doesn't know about them. He's just lucky the pod healed his skull"  
Catching his eye, his mother scowled. She knew exactly what he was doing and didn't appreciate it all  
"I... I finished the dataslate. It's like a phone, and he can text all of us. I put some mission logs and stuff on there, so he could look at them"  
"Thanks for that. I know how badly he wants out of hospital, so this should help him not feel so alone"  
Pidge bit her lip in a beer unPidge way  
"Do you think he... I mean, if we..."  
"I think he'd be up to visitors. But it depends if he had a good night or not"  
"Oh"  
"Why don't I give them a call while you eat breakfast?"  
"Thanks Coran. Hunk, I don't suppose you have any extra pancakes? Lance would probably kill for more food that isn't hospital food"  
"I can make some fresh"  
"That sounds nice. Maybe he'd like to see the mice?"  
Keith stared at them all in shock. He was having trouble comprehending the fact that everyone suddenly wanted to see Lance, when just last night Lance was talking about how much they didn't like him  
"Just so you know, he's on meds so he's pretty sleepy. Don't take it too personally if he's asleep or if he falls asleep"  
Allura smiled sweetly   
"He's been through a lot. Keith, do you think there's anything he might possibly want?"  
"Clothes. He needs clothes"  
Pidge shot forward in her chair, her eyes wide as she stared at Shiro   
"How do you know that? Oh my god. Are you and Lance a thing? Is that happening?"  
"Lance needed some help in the shower because he's so weak. Do I need to tell Matt it's time he had the talk with you"  
"What?! Ew. No"  
"Then don't turn this into something it isn't"  
Keith found his hands clenching and unclenching very slowly. His other side wanted to punch Shiro for going near Lance, and to shoot Pidge for even suggesting something was going on between them. Forcing himself to sit at the vacant space across from his mother, he nodded stiffly  
"Yeah. Clothes would be help. I don't know what he keeps on Red, but I was thinking that having his Bayard with him might not be such a bad idea"  
"His Bayard? Who's going to attack him? Some old crazy alien with false teeth?"  
"Ha ha. He doesn't feel like part of them, and having it there might remind him that he is. Besides, Sendak definitely hasn't forgotten about us. He has access to all our ship logs from when we were allied with Lotor. The fact he hasn't made a move is worrying"  
Pidge and Hunk nodded, Shiro's hand moving to rub at his left temple  
"That's true. It doesn't sit right with me either"  
"So after breakfast, we'll retrieve his things and visit him?"  
"Sounds like a plan"  
Placing his plate of pancakes down in front of him, Hunk hovered for a tick longer than necessary   
"Look, this is Lance. We all hurt his feelings, but he found a way to forgive me. So instead of making this into a big deal, try acting like it's not. Even if he gets upset"  
"So we shouldn't apologise?"  
"No, you all need to apologise. But don't run into the room and scream it. I'm looking at you Pidge"  
"You're no fun. What happened to the old Keith? He would have lost his mind being this nice all the time"  
"It's called growing up. You'll understand when you finally do"  
"He's got you there"  
Pidge pouted at Shiro, returning to whatever she'd been doing on the dataslate, leaving Keith to eat his cold pancakes while feeling slightly smug. 

Today was definitely a good day.


	6. Chapter 6

Lance was not having a good day. Yesterday his team mates had all made a big show of visiting him, and asking him a million and one times if he was alright, each and every single time he lied, saying that he was. Keith had come in before them all, letting him know they were waiting in the corridor, and that he could say whatever he wanted. So he did. He sat there and tried to pretend he was enjoying their company, but that was hard when Hunk and Pidge would start telling Keith about something that happened, before remembering he wasn't actually there. Their stories would trail off, leaving Allura to attempt to make him feel better. It didn't. He hated looking like this in front of them, and he hated not even being able to use the toilet on his own, and not being able to walk... but he hated the fact they all had to know he was pretending. He'd had to fake falling asleep, before actually really falling asleep, to get them to go. He knew he was being petty, but after putting up with being shunned for so long, it was hard to let them back in. It was just like high school all over again, and he didn't need to be remembering that... especially when it wouldn't leave his mind because of Keith. He'd nearly ruined everything. He'd nearly kisses him as they sat in front of the hospital watching the stars. It was stupid. He was stupid. He had a thing for Keith and it wasn't going away.

Still recovering from the shock of having the team visit, Lance was trying to process everything after his nap. Keith left to take care of something, but a few vargas later Krolia had come to see him, instead of Keith. Her usual demeanour somewhat subdued, which had him on edge the moment he realised. Having already sat down and had the conversation with Keith, Lance got the sex talk for the second time in his life... this time from the mother of his crush. Krolia explaining the birds and the bees of being what he was now. While Keith was turning into what she termed an Alpha, he was turning into an omega, which was why his hormones were a mess. His body didn't know what to do. He'd been a boy for all his life and now he was suddenly a boy with high levels of oestrogen and a womb... how was that even a thing?! It was all kind of a blur. But his brain didn't miss the scary parts, or the most messed up part of it all. Like an animal, he was going to go into heat. The wet stuff that leaked from him was called slick, designed to make mounting and birthing easier. The more aroused he was, the more he leaked and there wasn't anything he could do about it. He was going to have an uncontrollable urge to have sex with Keith. For like a week. And he could get pregnant... and have babies... or pups as they were called. If getting the sex talk from your parents was awkward, this was... on a whole other level, a level he'd never wanted to experience, because at least his parents had never asked if he still looked the same down there. There was no known cure for this alpha and omega thing. So he couldn't even give Keith back his life. When he went into heat, Keith would go into a rut, spending a week masturbating and wanting to mount him... he'd done this. He could of course choose someone else, but if they were male, he still ran the risk of pregnancy... They didn't have time for heats and ruts! Not when he still had to basically learn how to walk again... he should have ignored the stupid herb. Why hadn't he ignored it!? Why hadn't he found it strange?! Why did his brain never work when he needed it to!? He was an idiot, and there was little wonder over why Keith didn't come and sit with him for the rest of the day. Even from the grave, Zarkon had once again found a way to screw them over. 

Ever since Krolia had left, he'd been laying on his side, staring at the wall. The others were so going to laugh about this, and his already anxious mind was making it worse. None of the team, not even Hunk knew he'd tried to have a boyfriend before, back at the start of high school. It hadn't exactly ended well. And after that, he'd forced himself to flirt with everyone so no one know or suspect anything. The fact that being gay wasn't exactly welcomed back in his home town either, hadn't helped. It'd been a mess, that still left him shaken even after all these years. If at some stage Keith did kiss him. He honestly didn't know how he'd react. Just because he'd liked the stupid muscly mullet jerk when he was still just a jerk, and not... what he was now, didn't mean Keith liked him. Anything that happened could simply be explained as their second sides getting in the way. Out of all of it, Krolia had one bit of good news. She found how to stop Keith from bossing him around. Keith had unknowingly been using something known as an alpha command to force him into doing as he was told. She was going to work on it with him, so they'd be able to actually have a proper conversation without him being "bullied" into talking. Lance didn't really see the point, Keith was probably never going to talk to him again.

Unable to sleep, Lance was now in a bad mood, forced to bite down his feelings when the nurses came to help him to the bathroom. He was over this. He couldn't even find the effort to flirt with them. He just wanted to sleep... and not to think. Escorted back to his bed, Lance had only just shuffled onto the edge of it when his treating doctor walked in, wheeling a wheel chair that made him both excited and nervous... way more nervous than excited  
"Lance, how are you feeling this morning?"  
"I'm fine... just didn't sleep great"  
Even with the medication, his heart hadn't stopped racing, and before he'd realised it he'd stayed awake all night worrying over Keith   
"Perhaps we should postpone..."  
"Postpone what?"  
"We had scheduled you for your first physiotherapy session, but given you haven't slept, perhaps we should push it to this afternoon?"  
"No. I'm fine. I'm good"  
"Lance, this will be a lot of hard work. You've healed up nicely, but it really is time we get you up and moving"  
"I'm a Voltron Paladin. I can't afford to be sitting around, besides, I'm a sick of just laying here"  
His doctor gave him a thin smile, leaving Lance feeling the man didn't appreciate his attempt at humour  
"Alright, I'll have both nurses escort you to your appointment, and I'll be back to check in on you at lunch time"  
"Thanks! Let's do this"

Wheeled through to the hospital to what seemed to be the physio therapy room, Lance was relieved to find himself the only patient there. Probably due to the fact that if word got out that he was injured, people would lose faith in Voltron. Whatever it was, it was nice to know he wasn't going to be making a fool of himself in front of everyone. 

There was a small wait before the physiotherapist arrived, the woman smiling happily as she approached   
"Lance, I'm Leah. It's lovely to meet you"  
"Right back at'cha"  
"Now, I've read your medical reports, and I fell for today we should start with some simple stretches to get those muscles moving again"  
"We can't just skip to walking?"  
"Not just yet. You've spend the better part of a phoeb recovering, so we need to work our way up to walking unaided. For now, I'll get you to lay on the floor so I can do some muscle manipulation. It may hurt, but you should definitely feel the difference once I'm done"

It hurt. It hurt a stupid amount. He couldn't even touch his toes properly without feeling like his lower back was on fire... and it was completely ridiculous how exhausted it left him. All they'd done was stretch... How was he ever going to fit again? He'd always been active. He'd always made a point of doing something. But now all his body wanted to do was sleep. Though Leah was actually kind of fun to be around, and she'd even made him forget about Keith during their varga long appointment. He might not have accomplished anything much, but when he was moved back into his bed, Lance was asleep within ticks.

Only for him to wake up two vargas later, screaming from one hell of a nightmare in which Keith had killed him for infecting and bonding with him. Whatever this stupid thing between them was, his stupid nightmare had upset his omega side, leaving him feeling like his heart had been ground to into tiny pieces, which had then been trampled by the entire Galra population. Why'd it have to be Keith?! Keith wasn't even talking to him! He wasn't there, even though he'd told Lance he wouldn't be alone... Keith knew how much he hated being alone thanks to his big mouth spilling his secrets, yet Keith had left him like this for nearly a whole quintant. He was still crying when the doctor came to check in with him. Apparently Leah had been impressed, but the man wasn't happy about the tears... it wasn't like he wasn't trying stop them, he just missed Keith way too much and felt lost without him... not that he'd ever admit that out loud. That was how he ended up sedated, which made things worse as they didn't actually knock him out. Instead he sitting in bed, while his body was limp and his mind was running circles again. Yeah. Today was a bad day. Tomorrow. Tomorrow had to be better...

When Keith didn't visit him the following quintant or the quintant after... or the quintant after that, Lance decided it must have been the Black Paladin's polite way of telling him whatever this thing between was, it was over. Easily falling back into depression, though he never really left, Lance felt like everything was just a case of him going through the motions. His mornings were now spent in physiotherapy, doing a stupid number of simple stretches and being allowed to take no more than five steps at a time. Sensing the drop in his mood, Leah had been kind enough to secure permission for him to keep the wheelchair in his room. Yep. He could finally use the bathroom on his own. Showers he hadn't quite figure out, as they usually started with him leaning heavily against the wall, and ended with him on the floor, but he could finally be clean. He could shower every single day and he could shower at night when he couldn't sleep. Keith had no idea what he was doing to him. His friend had probably needed time to adjust, but Lance's heart wasn't listening to logic. He missed Keith. He missed his stupid mullet and his stupid broad shoulders, but he missed just having another human around... 

 

*  
Keith was exhausted. Since his mother explained the in's and out's of this thing he'd unknowingly been "infected" by, he couldn't stop thinking, and there were no where near enough vargas in the quintant for him to work things out. It was like the universe was pushing him and Lance together, which wouldn't have been so bad if he actually knew how Lance felt. Did he hate him for not being able to keep down his Galra side? If he hadn't been the one to find Lance, would Lance still have to go through all of this? And just what did them being together mean for the team? Lance hadn't messaged any of them... and Keith had the feeling he hadn't been too happy about their visit, despite the fact everyone else seemed to think all was forgiven. Would the others care if they got together? He liked to think they'd be supporting, or grown up enough to accept it... Pidge would probably laugh in their faces... Hunk would blush. Shiro would give him a scowl before "gently" reminding him Lance was healing. Allura... actually, he didn't know how she'd take it. Lance had liked her way more than he'd thought, so she could either be happy for them, or be self centred and say he was rebound. That just left his mother, who already liked Lance, Romella, who barely knew Lance, and Coran would most definitely cry over it all. Now. If only he could pluck the courage to actually talk to Lance. But somehow his courage had wavered, he'd been telling himself Lance needed space and time, but after 3 and a half quintants, that excuse had run out. He was now just... he was nervous to see Lance. How did you look someone in the eye, knowing you were going to go into a rut a some point? How were he and Lance supposed to talk about the fact they were going and want nothing more than to spend the movement tangled up in the sheets together? Not that he didn't already want that on some level, but he also didn't want their first time to be in some kind of hazy, driven by their other sides...

So engrossed in his thoughts, Keith didn't even notice Shiro standing in front of him. Instead he growled when he smacked into the solid mass of his brother, his other side annoyed over being pulled out of their thoughts of Lance  
"Whoa. Keith, are you ok?"  
"I'm fine"  
His flat tone wasn't even believable to himself  
"Keith"  
"Shiro"  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
"Not really"  
"You've been walking the corridors all morning, and given you haven't been down to see Lance lately, am I safe to assume something happened between you?"  
"No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe I want it to? I don't know. I've never done this before"  
Shiro snorted. Out of all the reactions he'd been expecting, that wasn't one of them, nor was he impressed by it  
"Look, why don't we go take a seat and talk"  
"There's nothing to talk about"  
"Keith. It's clearly upsetting you"  
"Talking about it isn't going to change anything. I don't even know if he feels the same way, or if it's to do with this herb thing"  
"Well, what did you think about Lance before you left?"  
"He was... annoying. But he was always there... you know. He would do everything he could for any of us. It's not that I don't care, but I don't know what to say to him"  
"I think he knows you well enough by now that he knows you're not the best at expressing your emotions"  
"But... sex"  
Keith's cheeks burned, Shiro laughing at his awkward words  
"You don't need to rush into anything, and I'm sure Lance isn't rushing into it either. But you should probably be having that conversation with him"  
"If I knew how to do that, I wouldn't be talking to you"  
Patting him on the shoulder, Shiro shook his head  
"You'll be just fine. Just be..."  
"Be patient. I know. I just... I just don't want to mess this up"  
"If you didn't care about him, you wouldn't be worried about messing things up. Or would you prefer I had a talk with him?"

"Had a talk with who? Keith, are you fighting with Lance? Is that why you've been all glarey lately?"  
Interrupting their conversation, Pidge grinned happily as Keith resisted the urge to storm away. Out of all of them, Pidge was the worst gossiper, putting even Coran to shame  
"We didn't have a fight"  
"Mhmm. Then how come you haven't been staying with him, like you did before?"  
"Because... you know what, no. I'm not having this conversation with Shiro and I'm not having this conversation with you"  
"Awww Keef, don't be like that"  
Sensing his rising temper, Shiro half sighed   
"Not now Pidge. Keith, you should go have that talk"  
"What talk? The love talk? Are you two dating? Oh my god! I have to tell Hunk. We had such high hopes for you"  
"Why do you have to be like this? What's going on between Lance and I. That's our business. Not yours"  
Pidge recoiled slightly at his angry tone, the smile falling from her face  
"I..."  
"No. Forget it"  
Pushing past Shiro, Keith marched down the hall. He wasn't dating Lance. He didn't even know if Lance wanted to date him! He didn't need Pidge messaging Lance over this and upsetting him when they hadn't even talked. He shouldn't have snapped, but he was tired of her laughing at Lance. It wasn't ok. It wasn't even acceptable, not even when she didn't know she was going too far. Lance had always praised her, and his teasing had only ever been out of love.

Having finally made outside the small building they were currently using as their headquarters, Keith paused to take in the sunshine. Lance would love it. It was a bright sunny day, with a soft wind blowing just hard enough to take the edge off the heat. Maybe he could convince Lance to spend a varga or two outside? Lance might not want to talk to him, but a few hours of freedom should at least give them the opportunity. Hopefully Lance would say yes. He didn't know what he was going to say if he didn't... he didn't want things to be awkward and he didn't want to be the cause of Lance's pain.

Walking through the hospital, Keith found himself unusually anxious. Ok. He was always anxious when it came to Lance of late, but this was to a degree that made him feel nauseous. He knew Lance was going to be upset over him not having visited, but it was for his own good... he needed to work out just what he wanted, and he wanted Lance. But what if Lance didn't want him back? By the time he reached the door to Lance's room, Keith's steps had become hesitant, like he'd forgotten how to walk normally... or even be normal. Great. He'd turned into one of those lovesick idiots he'd never understood... and what the quiznak was he supposed to say? With a shaking hand, Keith opened the door, almost laughing in relief when he found the room empty. But that feeling barely lasted a heartbeat before panic kicked in. Lance was supposed to be here... why wasn't he here? Where was he?! And why didn't he know Lance wasn't in his room! He was supposed to be kept up to date with any changes in Lance's health, and notified if he'd been moved. Stepping into the room, he sniffed the air. Ok... ok. Lance's room still smelt like him, and somehow he knew the scent was relatively fresh, so Lance had to be around here somewhere. Crossing to the bed, he lifted Lance's pillow, finding his Bayard right where he'd left it. Replacing the pillow, Keith jogged around the bed, checking the bathroom and finding it empty. Surely Lance wouldn't have planned his escape? Though he had been stuck inside for days... Leaving Lance's room, Keith tried to swallow down his emotions as he tracked down a nurse, nearly scaring the quiznak out of her as he placed his hand on her arm  
"Sorry. Do you know where my friend is? Lance?"  
Letting out a small laugh, the woman nodded  
"Sorry, you startled me. Lance is currently at his physiotherapy appointment. Leah was running late today, so you only just missed him. I can take you there, if you would like"  
Why didn't know Lance was having physio?! And why this weird feeling emerging in his stomach over this Leah person?   
"Sir?"  
"Oh. Right. That would be really nice. Thank you"  
His words didn't even sound like his own. And since when did people call him sir? Smiling, the young woman set off, setting an almost marching pace as she lead him through the hospital while prattling on about something that he had absolutely no interest in listening to. Arriving in a part of the hospital he'd never seen before, he grumbled out his thanks as the nurse left him at the door. Was he supposed to let himself in? Or was he supposed to stand here like an idiot? In the end, his curiosity won out. 

Gently edging the door open, Keith peaked through the gap. Lance was sitting on the floor, his bottom of his feet against the bottom of an Olkari woman's feet, creating a diamond with their legs as they rolled a ball between them. Watching the scene, neither of them had noticed, instead Lance was saying something, while Leah was laughing. Keith's heart actually hurt. That should be him making Lance laugh like that... even if it was slightly fake, it should still be him. Letting the door thud as he drew back, Keith fled. He couldn't do this.


	7. Chapter 7

Lance had heard the door to the physio room thud, his heart starting to race in unwarranted fear. He was safe here. No one was going to dare attack the hospital. No. It was just someone else who was going to use the room, only to find them already in here. Still... he couldn't quite calm down without knowing who it was  
"Lance?"  
Forcing a smile for Leah's sake, he looked back to the woman  
"The door just closed"  
Leah frowned, turning her attention to the door  
"It did?"  
"Yep..."  
"That's strange. The staff should know we're in here. Sorry, but I should probably check this out"  
"No. It's ok. It's your job after all, and I'm not going anywhere"  
"Not yet at any rate. You've been doing so well, I'm thinking of ending today's session with you doing a couple of laps on the parallel bars, how does that sound?"  
It sounded like a lot of work, but if it meant walking, he was all for it  
"It sounds good. Look, you should probably go see who it is. I'll just stay here and play with the ball"  
Climbing to her feet with an exaggerated sigh, Leah winked at him  
"I don't want you moving around too much while I'm gone"  
"I'll try my hardest"  
"That's all I ask for"

Left alone, Lance had to work on not freaking out. Leah was trying her hardest to be patient with him, so they'd been talking about some of Voltron's adventures, as she'd asked him what it was like to be a Paladin. He couldn't tell her how lonely the castle could be, or about the fact he'd died. No one wanted to hear that. So, he was telling her about the time they met Mermaids. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Out here, it practically was... great. Now he was getting depressed again. Looking down at the small red bouncy ball they been rolling back and forth, Lance sighed softly as he lifted it  
"I know you're a ball, but you remind me of him. Did you know that? I'm doing everything I can not to think about him all the time, but then you show up being all red. I wish I had marker. If I drew a scowl on your face, you'd look just like him"  
Was this his life now? Talking to a bouncy ball? Disgusted at himself, Lance threw it as hard as he could against the far wall, leaving a red mark where it bounced off, before rolling towards the door. Quiznak. Leah said not to move, buuuuut, he didn't know if his bruised ego could take her gentle teasing over the fact the ball was now across the room. Crawling wasn't walking... technically and if she took a while, he could be back in the same spot before... quiznak. The door to the physio room opened again, Leah walking in backwards as she pulled something... no, someone in with her  
"Look, I found your friend. He didn't want to interrupt our session"

Keith didn't look too pleased at all, he didn't smell particularly happy either. God. Lance felt like an idiot...  
"No need to be shy. Lance was just telling me about the time he met mermaids. Weren't you Lance?"  
"Oh. Yeah..."  
"Yep. So, I'm sensing you two need to talk, do you want to cut our session short?"  
"We should..."  
"No. It's fine. I just wasn't notified about Lance starting physio, everything relating to his health is supposed to be run by me, but he seems to be happy"  
Leah frowned, crossing her arms  
"I wasn't aware that I was supposed to notify you, though it really should have been his treating physician"  
"No. It's fine. I'll let you two get back to it"  
Lance had no other way to describe it. Keith politely ran from the room, escaping before Lance could even think of something to say  
"So that's Keith?"  
Lance arched an eyebrow, a knowing look on Leah's face  
"Yeah. What about it?"  
"Oh, I was just thinking he cares a lot for you"  
"I wouldn't go that far. He just ran away"  
"He was asking me all kinds of questions over how you were doing in the hallway"  
"He was?!"  
Lance's voice shot up with nerves and excitement, causing Leah to roll her eyes  
"No, but he wanted to. You really do like him, don't you?"  
Lance deflated, covering his face with his hands as he rubbed at his eyes  
"Am I that transparent?"  
"Yes. Can I ask what happened between you two?"  
"Nothing. Not a single thing. Because everyone else is busy, he was coming to check on me... but then he kind of stopped"  
"Oh. Well, I'm sure it's nothing you did"  
"I don't know about that"  
"I do. You're a nice young man, and I'm sure you two will work this out. For now, why don't we try walking"  
"I thought we were saving that for the end?"  
"We were, but you look like you need something to perk you back up..."  
"I'm sorry. It's just... frustrating"  
"There's no need to apologise. Especially how you're going to feel about me once we get you on those bars"  
"Yeah. You just watch me"

Leah watched him fall on his arse. And laughed. After painfully dragging himself down to the opposite end of the bars, Lance's muscles were screaming. He'd known it was going to be hard, but falling at the end had shattered his confidence. He was a Paladin. He couldn't let this stop him... so why couldn't he get back up, and more importantly, why was he crying? He'd fallen before. He knew he just had to get back up and try again. Yet, for some stupid reason, he just couldn't, and he couldn't stop thinking about Keith. Why had he even come to see him? He'd thought Keith was done with babysitting him... it hurt. Especially because Keith didn't even want to be there. Releasing he was actually upset, Leah rushed to his side, helping him back to his feet, before wrapping her arms around him  
"I think that will be all for today. Seeing Keith really through you off balance, and I wasn't thinking about the emotional tole recovering takes"  
"No... I can do this"  
"Lance..."  
"Please. I need to do this"  
For himself... and for Keith. Mostly for Keith. He couldn't hold Keith back or pull him down   
"Alright, but this time I want you to hold my hand. We'll go back to the other end, then I'll take you back to your room. Sound alright?"  
"Y-yeah... I'm sorry"  
"You're ok. I'm sorry for laughing"  
"No... I probably looked ridiculous. I felt ridiculous"  
"No more ridiculous than any other patient that's fallen"  
"Other people have?"  
"Plenty of time. These things take time, and small falls can happen"  
"I think I feel a little better knowing I'm not alone when it comes to falling"  
His fall didn't feel small, but if it was just a small fall, he'd hate to know what a big one felt like. His lower back muscles were screaming as his leg was starting to cramp, but he had to do this. So he bit his lip, and did as Leah said, shuffling to the other end of the bars before all but falling into her hold  
"You did amazing. I know you don't feel amazing, but that was a very big step"  
"My muscles feel like their made from broken glass"  
"I'll organise some heat packs to be delivered to your room"  
"That would be amazing. I don't suppose you can also magic up a shower chair?"  
"You don't have one?"  
"No?"  
"That won't do. You need to be able to shower safely. It might take me a little while, but you should have one by the end of the night"  
"Leah. You're a god send. Thanks for... well, everything"  
"You really must be tired. Let's get you back to your room"

 

*  
Keith found himself walking back to Lance's room after running from his friend. The look on Lance's face had just been too much. Confusing. Fear. Happiness. Embarrassment. He didn't know a word that summed all that up, but that's the look Lance had given him, and it hurt. He couldn't blame Lance though. Under all that, his friend looked exhausted, spurring his need to do something nice. Which turned into him making Lance's bed for him, and binning the dead flowers. He felt like he should be doing more. His other side wanted him to do more, but what more could he do? Trying to calm himself, Keith dropped down into the visitors chair. Leah had told him Lance was doing well, and that she was pleased to see him making so much progress in just a few quintants, which made him proud... as well as just the smallest bit sad. When Lance got out of the hospital, he'd be able to lead a normal life, but what so said that normal life involved him? He wouldn't need someone to sit by his bed so he wouldn't feel lonely, because he'd be able to get up and talk to whoever he wanted. He wouldn't need Keith there when he had a nightmare, because he'd probably go to Coran... he just... Shaking his to clear his thoughts, Keith looked around Lance's room again. There really wasn't anything to do, but his eyes fell on the bathroom door. If Lance had washing that needed to be done, he could take it back to the building they were using and do it there for him. He already knew the sweet lingering scent was caused by something called slick, but if the others saw it's dark staining, they might not understand. Rising from the chair, he made his way into the bathroom.

With Lance's clothes bundled in his arms, Keith was just about to leave when the door to Lance's room opened, and his heart dropped. Lance was talking to Leah about something, while sniffling softly. His other side wanted him to burst into the room, and to whisk Lance away from whatever was making him sad. But how was he supposed to explain why it looked like he was stealing Lance's clothes?! Retreating to stand with his back against the wall beside the door, he held his breath. He'd quiznakked up and now he was stuck, eavesdropping on Lance saying goodbye to Leah and thanking her for letting him vent a little. What was Lance venting about? They'd been talking about Voltron... yet he didn't think Lance would be telling Leah about how useless he thought himself to be. Whatever it was, Leah promised him it would all be alright, which was followed by a pained whimper. Clamping a hand over his mouth to silence his growl, when no one stepped into the bathroom, he slowly pried his hand off his face. That had been way too close... and it was a small eternity before the door to Lance's room finally clicked closed.

Trapped for what a small eternity, Keith was just about to give up hope when he finally heard a loud, nasally snore. Cautiously darting from the bathroom, Keith barely paused to look at Lance. If he caved, he knew he wouldn't be able to leave at all. Tomorrow when he brought back Lance's clothes, he'd finally admit that he actually had feelings for Lance and wanted something more.

 

With Lance's clothes washing, Keith went to seek out Shiro, unable to get the emotions on Lance's face out his mind. He needed to talk. He needed to understand. He needed someone to actually listen to him as he fumbled out what he was feeling and out of everyone, Shiro was his only option... no. Shiro had done a lot for him, and out of everyone, Shiro was the only one he could actually confide in. He might have lost his cool over how Kuron had treated Lance, and how Lance had found himself shunned, but he knew Shiro cared for Lance almost like a father... he'd just... he'd gotten so caught up in his own thoughts and the changing dynamic of the team, he'd pushed him away, half scared of how he really felt. So it was relief, finding his friend alone in his room. Not bothering to even greet him Keith crossed to Shiro's bed, before dropping down next to him  
"Did you get to talk to him?"  
"He was in physiotherapy"  
"He's in physio? Already?"  
"Yep. His therapist said he's doing really well and that she's happy with his progress"  
"That's good news, isn't it?"  
"Maybe. I don't know. She made us talk, but I couldn't do it"  
"So you ran?"  
"Pretty much. The look on his face... I just can't get it out of my head"  
Slinging his arm around his shoulder, Shiro pulled him tight   
"I've been thinking about this..."  
"Here we go"  
Shiro ignored his interruption, already in full big brother mode  
"I think Lance likes you"  
Keith tensed, shocked to actually hear someone else agreeing with what he believed deep down... or rather, wanted to believe   
"What?"  
"I've just been thinking about it while you were away. And it makes sense, really"  
"Which part of this makes sense?"  
"Well, all of it if you think about it. What do kids usually do to each other in primary school, when they have a crush on a school mate?"  
"I don't know"  
"They pick on them, for the attention. Now, Lance is a teenager, but he can be very childish at times"  
"So you think his rivalry and always picking fights was because he likes me?"  
"He was always following your footsteps. The Garrison constantly comparing him to you. He probably just didn't know how to have a conversation with someone who he's been compared to non-stop"  
"He could have just..."  
"He could have what? Told you he liked you? Keith, you know you weren't exactly easy to approach and since you've returned, you've lost that harsh aura. You used to run from leadership and constantly rushed in without thinking, though he always backed you up"  
"How do you know about that?"  
"I've talked to with Allura, Hunk, Pidge and Coran about how things were when I was missing. They told me Lance was always ready to agree with you, or pull you up when you started getting too far into your own head"  
"I... Shiro, you know my past. You know how much I've needed you and depended on you. You've been my brother for so long now, and you were the first to really give me a chance. I don't know how to let Lance in like that"  
"This is Lance. He's already gotten under your skin. No one is saying you have to rush it, or that you have to tell him everything in one go. In your time away from Voltron, you've really matured. You've grown and you understand your own feelings and those of those around you in a much better way. That time with Krolia was the best thing that could have happened to you"  
"I should have been here for the team"  
"And if you'd stayed, nothing would have changed. You would still be carrying around so many questions and so much regret. You deserve to be happy, and if you think you're going to find happiness with Lance, then you should go for it"  
"Pidge is going to laugh..."  
"I've talked to Pidge properly. She didn't realise how harsh she was being, but she just wanted not to be thought of as the baby of the group. She was trying to keep up with all of us"  
"That doesn't make it right"  
"We've all been there. We're still there. Trying to figure out our place in the team and the world, and with Voltron. She needs a little time, but she left to talk with Matt, so things should be getting better for her"  
"This still doesn't change the fact Lance was hurt. Is hurt. Is hurting..."  
"Kuron was cruel to him because he knew Lance is the one who always tried to keep the team going, no matter what happened. He thinks he's the weak link, but he's not. It's like you said. He'd do absolutely anything for anyone of us. Even the other day, I could see how scared of me he actually was, but when I asked if I should go, he wanted me to stay because he knew I needed it too"  
"You didn't tell me that"  
"Because you're other side is possessive and jealous enough as it is"  
Keith sighed, Shiro was definitely right about that   
"You've got that right. All I can think about is him"  
"It's better to take that first step, rather than regret it forever"  
"Thanks Shiro. I feel like with everything happening so fast, I haven't been able to think. You were right when you said we should talk"  
"Of course I'm right. How many years have you known me?"  
"It feels like I've known you my whole life. You're always there when I need you"  
"That's what brother's do. They fight. They get mad. They protect each other"  
"They save each other"  
"Yes. And you're the best little brother I could have. I'm proud of you Keith"  
"I'm so glad you're back and you're finally really ok"  
"Me to. Now. Lance, are you going to go talk to him?"  
"He needed some washing done, so I'll talk to him when I return it"  
"You're washing his clothes? Is that safe?"  
"I've washed your clothes before"  
"And I remember three white shirts turning grey because of it"  
"At least they didn't turn pink"  
"Don't you think I'd look good in Pink?"  
"I am not going into that"  
"Now I'm going to have to track down a pink shirt"  
"Seriously?!"  
"Yep"  
"You're so lucky you're my brother"  
"And your friend. With the washing on, what do you have planned next?"  
"I honestly don't know. I was thinking of asking Coran and Allura if there are any small missions or supply runs that need to be done"  
"Have you slept?"  
"Have I what?"  
"Slept"  
"I tried to, but it wasn't happening. There's so much to this new second side of me. Did you know I could actually get Lance pregnant? Because I had no idea that could even be a thing..."  
"You can get him pregnant?"  
"Yeah. He goes into something called a heat, while I go into a rut. We basically spend a week..."  
He let his sentence trail off, not game to look up at Shiro's face  
"No wonder you were so worried about sex"  
"You should talk to mum about it. She can explain it better, but basically Lance and I have bonded on some level. And they can't break it. There's no cure. I mean... maybe surgery, but I'm not going to force that on him"  
"That's heavy"  
"When I saw him before, he looked so conflicted. I don't know if I was seeing him or his other side"  
"You won't until you..."  
"Talk with him. I know. I just never thought it could happen"  
"Love is like that"  
"I don't know if it's love"  
"You want to make him happy. You want to make him laugh and smile. You want to protect him. If it's not love, it's definitely one hell of a crush"  
"But what does he want?"  
"You're back to going around in circles again"  
"I just... you're right. Do you want to come find Allura and Coran with me? Spend some time in Black? I know she misses you"  
"I miss her too. To be honest, being inside her so long... it feels weird not to be with her"  
"Does that mean you want to take over piloting her again?"  
"No. But I do feel pulled to her"  
"Then you should come"  
"I think it would be better if I talked to Krolia"  
"She can come too. And Yorak... though I have no idea where he's gotten to"  
"We're on a planet with a forest filled with creatures. He's probably hunting"  
"I don't know if that's a good thing or not"  
"He'll be fine. Let's go find Allura"  
Keith let himself be pulled up by Shiro, their shoulders brushing against each other as Shiro straightened out his shirt, before flashing him a smile  
"You're being creepy"  
"My little brother's in love"  
"Can we save the celebrations until after I've talked to Lance?"  
"Alright. But just know that I'm here for you, for you both"


	8. Chapter 8

With Shiro now in the loop regarding what was going and with what was happing with Lance's body, he was insisting on explaining everything to the others, which was a big no. Especially when he didn't have Lance's permission to talk to the others about this. They didn't have a mission, so they'd instead spent a varga or so with Krolia, before Shiro sent him to get some rest... and surprisingly enough, he did manage to get a few solid vargas sleep before waking to world shaking around him. This could not be good.

Rushing to dress in his uniform Keith nearly tripped himself over, trying to call Allura at the same time as pulling his pants on  
"Keith! We're under attack. Several large battleships are orbiting Olkarion"  
"How did they get so close?"  
"We don't know. Krolia and Romelle are moving to secure the hospital, we need to get to our lions. Coran and Shiro will liaise from here"  
"The... hospital..."  
"Lance will be ok. He has his Bayard, and he's a Paladin of Voltron"  
"I... you're right"  
She was, but that didn't stop his hands from shaking. Lance couldn't walk. Was everyone forgetting that?! But there was a whole planet to protect, and the hospital had to have procedures in place for this kind of situation. Running to Black, he threw himself into his pilot's chair, Black rumbling to life as he opened his comms  
"Guys! Allura says there's seven ships out here. We need to keep them away from the terrace and the hospital. Coran, how's the Olakri canon coming?"  
"Still charging! It needs another 5 doboshes!"  
"How did they even get past our defences?"  
Pidge sounded as if she'd been personally insulted by the attack  
"We can't dwell on that for now. They're attacking, and we need to keep the damage to a minimum. Keith, I want you to go after the two ships hovering over the main city"  
"You heard her Black. Let's go!"

Pink beams were already showering down across Olkarion's surface, Keith fighting down his rising panic over them. It was like Allura said. Lance had his Bayard, and he knew what to do. He was probably already directing patients to safety... because that was what he did. Even when he was hurt, he would always find a way to protect others. With Black's blade activated, Keith wove his way through the attacking ships and fighter jets, leaving a chain of bright orange explosions behind him  
"Keith, the canon will be firing in 30 ticks, get out of the way!"  
"Thanks Coran! How are you all going?"  
"Uh! I could use some help!"  
"What's going on Hunk?"  
"I can't shake them off Yellow's tail"  
"Bring them my way. Pidge, Allura?"  
"I'm fine!"  
"Allura?"  
"Heading back, this ships opened a wormhole!"  
Keith's chest tightened momentarily, images of Red disappearing invading his mind  
"Get out of there!"  
Quiznak. He'd yelled it... now everyone was going to know he was thinking about Lance... Allura's voice came through the comms again, her tone gentle and reassuring   
"Keith... it's ok. No one is going missing and no one is getting hurt"  
Pidge was quick to back her up  
"That's right! I can see Allura. It's alright Keith"  
While Hunk just sounded annoyed and slightly scared  
"Yeah buddy, I'm coming at you, so you better be ready"  
Turning Black to face Hunk, Hunk hadn't been over exaggerating. It looked like their were more ships chasing him than there had been after Black  
"Hunk, loop up and around the canon, we can't let them fire at it"  
"On it!"

Cutting a path close to the blast Keith took out as many fighter jets as he could before the two ships he'd crippled exploded, taking the rest of the fighter jets in the immediate area out with them. Pidge letting out a happy cry of victory  
"They're leaving!"  
"Good job guys"  
Allura and Pidge might be happy, but Keith didn't want the forces regrouping and returning, seeing as they would have seen Red wasn't in action. Within vargas, the whole sky could be swarming with Galra ships   
"We should pursue them"  
"We can't afford to let them return to Sendak's fleet!"  
Shiro's voice shook as it came through the comms  
"Keith, don't. We need Voltron on the ground"  
"Why? What's going on?"  
"The hospital was one of the buildings hit. We need all hands on the ground to help with the evacuation"  
"Is... Lance..."  
"We don't know yet. Just get back here as soon as possible"  
Keith's other side screamed, his mind blanking as he flew Black down to land as close to the hospital as he could. People were screaming and crying, smoke rising from the spot fires and half crumbled walls. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, but it still wasn't great. Rushing from Black, Keith fought his way through the crowds, looking for any trace of Lance as his other side grew more and more desperate   
"Lance! Lance, can you hear me?!"  
Jogging across the terrace as he yelled louder for Lance, Keith jumped as hand landed on his shoulder, spinning around his heart leapt for a fraction of a tick, before he realised it was Shiro  
"Have you found him?"  
"Not yet..."  
"Pidge and Hunk are helping Ryner, while Allura and Coran are around here somewhere"  
"I've got to find Lance"  
"You can't go in yet, it's not safe"  
"I'm not waiting out here! I'm not leaving him in there, potentially hurt with no one by his side!"  
"You can't go..."  
"Shiro. I have to find him. I have to protect him!"  
"You're not going in alone"  
"Then come with me! We're wasting time!"  
"Keith..."  
"Forget it! Meet up with Coran and Allura, I'll sweep the hospital for survivors"  
Leaving Shiro yelling his name, Keith took off again, this time ignoring the crowd as he rushed into the hospital. He just had to get to Lance. That was all that truly mattered!

Slipping through the damaged halls, and ducking under sizzling wires, Keith resumed yelling Lance's name all over again. This was getting ridiculous! He'd seen maybe two medical staff, but they were preparing supplies for those injured outside, while he hadn't seen anything of Lance. Growling at another blocked corridor, Keith had had enough, activating his Bayard he started hacking through the rubble... only to bring more down of the unstable wall in the process. Creating a hole barely big enough for him to slip through, he found the rest of the corridor beyond the collapsed so the rubble was up against Lance's open door. He needed help... or maybe Lance could get to him? With his door was already open, so Keith couldn't actually see how far in the rubble went  
"Lance?! Lance, if you're there, shoot the wall or something!"  
Nope. Nothing. Ok. He needed to make this happen. Disregarding his own health and safety, Keith winced as his ankle rolled on the uneven surface of the strewn rubble, though it was only dodge another live electrical wire he hadn't even noticed until it was nearly too late. He'd take a rolled ankle over potential death, any day  
"Lance, I swear to god. You better be ok in there!"   
With three more careful steps, he finally reached Lance's door, his heart dropping as he threw himself in the room  
"Lance!"

The ceiling was hanging down on one side, propped up as by some miracle by the bed which was still standing... and the wall on the left side of the room was completely obliterated, blackened from taking a direct hit  
"Lance!"  
There was a tiny whimper, so tiny that if he didn't have his Galra side, he would completely missed it  
"Lance, just hold still. I'm coming to you"  
"K..."  
"It's alright. I'm here"  
Dropping down to crawl, he found Lance curled under the hospital bed. The Red Paladin was clutching his head as he continued to whimper softly  
"Hey... I'm here"  
"K-Keith..."  
Lance looked shell shocked as he looked up to him, his face grey and his eyes wide. Letting out a wail, Lance threw himself at him  
"Keith..."  
"You're alright. I've got you"  
"Keith!"  
"Shhh... you scared the hell out of me"  
"I... what..."  
"You're alright. But we're going to need to get you out of here"  
"C-can't walk"  
"I know, we're going to have to go through the room next to yours. The hallway has collapsed"  
Lance couldn't even crawl by the seems of it, Keith having to drag him out from under the bed, accidentally rising too soon and bumping the bed, breaking the tedious balance. As the bed tipped, Keith half threw Lance out the way, before diving to cover him as the ceiling came down, ultimately trapping them against the wall shared with the bathroom. It wasn't a great situation, but the wall seemed solid enough as the readjusting rubble fell quite... that and the fact his rolled ankle... well, he had the feeling it wasn't just rolled anymore  
"Lance? You ok?"  
"What... why? You saved me"  
"Of course I did. You... uh, mean a lot to me"  
"You... you still want to be friends?"  
"I thought we were friends..."  
"I haven't seen you in quintants, but then you show up out of nowhere and rescue me... I thought you didn't want to be friends"  
He didn't want to be friends... he wanted to be boyfriends...  
"I just needed to think. I'm sorry"  
"It's a lot..."  
"Listen..."  
Their words overlapped, Keith pausing so Lance could continue in the now somewhat loud tone he was using. Probably because the explosion had fucked with his hearing... or at least Keith hoped that was all it was  
"You should call Allura. You need to get back to helping the others"  
"The others are taking care of it. I'm here now, and I'm going to get you out"  
"How? The ceiling is kind of..."  
"We'll just have to be really careful"  
"We can't. I can't... you should go"  
"If I leave, then what was the point of me coming in to find you"  
"Because it's your job? I don't know. I'm not the idiot who ran into the half collapsed building"  
Sniffling, Lance pulled out from under him, curling into the smallest ball he could make as he wiped his face  
"You should go..."  
"I'm not going anywhere. I'll call Shiro and let him know I found you"  
"Shiro?"  
"Everyone's been freaking out over you. We don't even know how they got so close undetected"  
"I... I don't know why"  
"Because you're part of the team. You're the one who keeps us going"  
"I don't feel like it"  
"That's because you're hurting, and not just physically. Things haven't been great for all of us"  
"You... when did you get so smart?"  
"I've always been smart. Also, I had a talk with Shiro about some things and I guess I understand them better than I did"  
"Oh... um... ok"  
Resting his head against his knees, Lance was trembling. Reaching out, Lance whimpered when Keith's fingers brushed his arms,  
"Lance?!"  
"I don't feel good"  
"Ok. It's ok. I'm calling Allura"

Having moved to sit beside Lance, Keith was now on his communicator to Shiro instead of Allura. Allura would be doing what she did best, managing the wounded and lifting spirits... and she didn't know how he felt about Lance, so she would suggest they sit tight for now, which Keith really couldn't do. He realised the amount of dust up his nose was preventing him being able to read Lance's feelings through his scent, and Keith was also realising that he'd come to rely on his sense of smell too much. He should be able to comfort Lance without having to rely on Lance's scent to tell him he was hurt and scared. Hell. He could see Lance was hurt and scared, but what he didn't know was, was if Lance was up for a hug  
"Keith, did you find him?"  
Hunk?!  
"I thought I called Shiro"  
"We're all together. The Olkarion are like pro at cleaning up after a Galra attack. We were getting ready to head into the hospital"  
There was Pidge... great. He couldn't have the conversation he wanted to have with Shiro now  
"Look. Lance and I are in his room, the ceiling collapsed, but were safe for now. The room next to his took a direct hit by the looks of it. His hearings damaged from the blast, but he seems to be ok for the most part. I can get out if I leave him here, but I'm not leaving here, so you're going to have to cut the power to this wing of the hospital, and find a way to stabilise the ceiling"  
"The Olkari are already beginning to stabilise the building with vines, and those cubes of theirs. You might have to wait a while before it's safe to reach you"  
"Then can you possibly go through the room next to Lance's. I think he's starting to freak from being trapped in such a small space"  
And from nearly dying again. Seriously. It was his job to protect Lance and so far Lance had died, nearly died, gone through way too many surgeries, nearly died again, and was now having a meltdown. His heart couldn't take it  
"Keith, its Allura. Do you think you can move him into the next room? The Olkari can use their vines to extract the both of you"  
"I... I'll get it done"  
"Excellent, we'll be waiting for you"  
Keith disconnected the call, feeling like an arse for what he was about to do as he placed his hand on Lance's arm   
"Lance, you with me buddy? We've got to move. It's probably going to hurt, but the others are doing to extract us"  
Lance whimpered, nodding as he did, though he didn't actually seem to have realised he'd whimpered again  
"We need to crawl to the end of the wall. Can you do that?"  
Sniffling, Lance nodded again, moving to uncurl as if operating on auto pilot. Shit. He must have used a command without knowing it... but... if I got Lance moving... maybe it was for the best.

Crawling down the small triangular tunnel, Lance had begun coughing, which soon turned into the sound of wet hacking. Keith wasn't much better, the dust in their air stinging his eyes. It was a painfully slow task, especially given it was only 6 or metres, and shouldn't have taken them 15 doboshes to reach the end. Between the ceiling and the end wall, was tiny gap, barely big enough for Keith to manoeuvre himself through, and it was would have been impossible for Lance if he hadn't taken him by the hands and pulled him through. He didn't like the fact Lance was now sweating profusely, and was unable to hold any of his own weight. It nearly sent the crashing back to the floor as his ankle angrily reminded him of just how nasty the possible sprain was. Dragging Lance along with him, Keith limped and stumbled across to the tiny bits of broke glass, sharp concrete and exposed pipes, while forgetting that Lance had no shoes on. His feet were a mess by the end of it. Lowering Lance to the floor, Keith almost collapsed next to him   
"Lance?"  
"Keith?"  
His name came out slurred. That couldn't be good   
"I need you to stay awake for me"  
"I'm awake"  
"Just making sure. How do you feel?"  
"My head hurts... nearly as bad as the time I had my jaw broken"  
Someone broke his jaw? What the quiznak?!?  
"You had your jaw broken?"  
"Mmmm... Keith, I don't feel good"  
Pitching forward, Lance vomited... a lot... vomiting with a head injury wasn't a good sign. They needed to get him into a pod! What was taking so long?!  
"The others are coming"  
"I really loved them... why couldn't they love me back?"  
"They do love you. We all do"  
Pulling the now limp against him, Keith nuzzled into his neck as he rubbed his back  
"Another bonding moment?"  
"I thought you didn't remember the first one"  
"Who says I do...? I don't think I can stay awake"  
"Lance. You will stay awake"  
His voice was stern, trying to remember what his mother has said about alpha commands, while internally panicking over Lance's fading condition  
"I..."

"Keith! Lance! Quick, we don't know how long this platform will be stable!"  
Looking from Lance, Keith found Pidge standing on a platform of vines, her hand outstretched towards them   
"See. They're here!"  
He shook Lance gently, but Lance didn't respond  
"Fuck! Pidge, I need your help, he's unconscious!"  
Jumping off the platform, Pidge ran over to them, the girl looping her arm under Lance's left and pulling him up as Keith forced himself up, nearly howling from the pain of the pressure on his ankle. With the two of them, it was easy enough to get Lance up onto the vine, Keith kneeling next to him as he checked Lance was still breathing   
"He's got a concussion and he was slurring his words before he vomited"  
"Coran's gone with Krolia to make sure the pod is ready"  
"Good. We need to get him straight in"  
"What about you?"  
"I'm fine. Rolled my ankle, that's it"  
"That'll need to be checked. Hunk! Take us down!"  
"On it!"  
The vines turned downwards, taking years off his life with their slow speed. The moment the platform touched the ground, Hunk was there to lift Lance, while Shiro moved to help Keith   
"Don't touch him!"  
His other side rushed to the surface, his yell stopping Hunk from taking another step  
"Keith, it's ok. It Hunk"  
"No. It's not ok"  
"Uh, Shiro?"  
"Take him to the pod. I'll take care of Keith"  
Snarling Keith tried to shove Shiro off. He had to stay with Lance! Lance needed him to stay with him! Needed him to protect him!  
"Shiro... you don't understand... I have to... I have to be with him. The other me. It's going crazy. I want to hurt Hunk for touching him!"  
"Uh..."  
It was Pidge's turn to be confused  
"Pidge, can you see if they need anymore help here. Keith isn't thinking straight, and by the looks of it, he needs medical attention"  
"I'm fine. I need to see Lance"  
"And we'll go. Or have you forgot our own small first aid room is the same room the pod is in?"  
"I can't think straight"  
"Ok. Let's move. I'm starting to smell something coming off you and it really stinks"  
What Shiro was smelling was his rage over being so useless. Sullenly biting his tongue, they began to move after Hunk's vanishing form.


	9. Chapter 9

Waking up, Lance was initially disorientated. He didn't know where he was, or why he was there... or why there was a warm lump next to him. Biting down a moan of panic and pain, he rolled to his side, almost screaming when he came for to face with Keith, before trying to bolt backwards  
"Dude! Don't do that! What the hell man?!"  
"You were crying in your sleep, so I climbed into bed next to you"  
"You could have just woken me up, you jerk!"  
"You needed to rest"  
Hospital... something happened to the hospital? Some kind of flash?  
"Holy shit! The hospital? What happened?!"  
"Stop yelling"  
"Oh..."  
"The Galra attacked, we managed to repel them. But not before they got a few hits in. The room next to yours was hit, and you had a pretty nasty concussion from it"  
"I... don't remember. I remember the blast... I think"  
Keith groaned  
"Seriously? We had another bonding moment and everything"  
"We did?"  
Why did he never remember these things?! It sounded like something he really, really needed to remember  
"Yes. After I pulled you out of your room"  
"You did that?"  
"Of course I did. We're friends"  
"Are we?"  
Lance regretted it the moment the words slipped out. Keith looked like he'd been slapped. He expected the man to yell at him, but instead he just sighed softly   
"Lance, we're more than friends"  
"Best friends?"  
Closing his eyes, Keith nodded before opening them  
"Something like that. After you came out of the pod, we moved you down here to sleep while I went through a cycle. I wasn't going to stay, but you sounded like you were having a nightmare"  
"If I was, I can't remember it. And wait... you got hurt?"  
"I rolled my ankle and Shiro overreacted"  
"Oh my god, dude. You rolled your ankle? What kind of a rescue is that?"  
"Don't make me regret rescuing you"  
Keith was joking. He knew was joking, but his heart was racing like mad, and all he could stare at were Keith's lips. He wanted to lean in and kiss him so badly that he felt the small smile that had been building fade away   
"I'm sorry... thank you. I guess you're always saving me"  
"You say it like it's a bad thing"  
"No. It's what you do. You're a really good friend. You always have been"  
He emphasised the word friend, not wanting Keith to think he was hitting on him   
"You're not so bad yourself, though you do owe me a story"  
"I owe you a story?"  
"You were telling me about the time you got your jaw broken while we were waiting for Pidge to pick us up"  
Lance's eyes widened. The effect of Keith's words instant as he really did scramble back on the bed, pushing himself hard up against the wall. Out of every single person in the known universe, Keith was the absolute last he wanted to know... he could... he could swallow down his feelings for him. He could pretended he didn't love him... he did. He did and Keith couldn't know...  
"I what?! No... how did you know about that!?"  
Keith sat up, a frown on his face as he drew his brow  
"You were telling me. You had a concussion and were slurring your words. I was trying to keep you awake and talking and you started telling about when you had your jaw broken"  
He wouldn't. That was one story he could never tell Keith. He could never tell anyone. His flight or fight response kicked into overdrive as threw himself forward and fell off the bed rather pathetically and painfully  
"Lance!"  
"No... no... you can't... why? Why would I... no..."  
Climbing off the bed, Keith wrapped his arms around him  
"Hey. What's going on?"  
"I... why would I... why would I bring that up... I don't... I don't want to remember"  
His hands gripped Keith's arm, as Keith held him firmly against his chest  
"Lance, you're ok. I didn't mean to upset you"  
"No... I... he was right. He was always right..."  
Struggling, his mind had decided to leave him stuck in the past  
"Lance? Talk to me, you're scaring me. Please, please talk to me"  
Keith's lips brushed against against Lance's temple as he talked, kissing the spot and breaking Lance's heart that little bit more, because he couldn't do this  
"Get off!"  
"What?!"  
"Get off of me! Guys... guys can't do this with other guys! It wrong!"  
Keith released him like he'd been burnt   
"What the fuck, man!?"  
"Guys can't like guys... they said so... they... don't tell mami... don't tell her... I'll be good. I'll be good... I won't tell... I won't... please..."  
Breaking down into sobs, he knew he'd ruined everything. How was he supposed to face Keith? Or Shiro? Or any of them? It'd all been a stupid joke to them... he was a joke...

 

*  
Keith had never expected those words to come from Lance's lips. Lance who flirted with everyone and everything was now telling him that two guys hugging was wrong? That guys couldn't like guys? What kind of backwards quiznak was that?! His gut filled with disgust  
"What the fuck Lance?! What's that supposed to mean!?"  
It didn't matter that Lance was sobbing, Keith still roared the words at him  
"Since when did you become so fucking narrow minded!? I mean, are you even fucking serious?!"  
Lance was still begging him not to tell his mother, which made no sense to him. His mind was imploding, while his anger exploded outwards. Grabbing him by the collar, Keith was about to punch him as the door opened, Shiro marching right over to him and grabbing his arm   
"What's going on here?"  
"Lance was just making his feelings known. He finds men hugging wrong"  
Shiro's shook his head, forcing him back from Lance   
"Keith, you should be able to tell something else is going on"  
"Are you really defending him?! How could he... we're supposed to be mates! Yet he finds men touching men to be wrong!"  
Lance sobbed harder, his words now rapid Spanish as he tried to rock. Pulled back to reality by Shiro, he realised he really was about to deck Lance, and that Shiro was right. There was more to this   
"Let's get him on the bed, then we're going to talk about this. Do you know what triggered it?"  
"When we were waiting to be extracted, he said something about his jaw being broken. When I asked him about it, he flipped out. And just now when I went to hug him, he... no. You don't think..."  
"It sounds like it..."  
Keith's apocalyptic rage resurfaced, this time redirected at those who'd hurt Lance. He and Shiro sharing the same thought, though without Lance confirming it, they couldn't be sure.

Moving Lance from the floor and back to bed, Keith found himself reaching for Lance's hand as Shiro coached Lance into calming his breathing. His sobs still breaking Keith's heart, even as they were brought back under control. Lance looked absolutely broken, as he drew his knees to his chest and pressed his feet against the side of the bed  
"Lance, you're ok. You're in a safe place... you can talk to us"  
"I... you'll hate me"  
"Lance, we could never hate you. Keith and I have a pretty good idea what happened, and we haven't gone anywhere"  
"That's because you don't know everything"  
"You had your jaw broken for liking men, didn't you?!"  
Lance let out a pained squeaking whimper, as close to an agreement as he could get out. Leaning down, Shiro wrapped his left arm around Lance's shoulder   
"It's ok to be ok. It's ok to like men and it's ok to like women..."  
"I thought he liked me..."  
"He's not here. We are, and we want to understand. You had such an extreme reaction just now"  
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean it... I'm just... I'm so scared"  
"You're ok. Here, why don't you start at the start. How did you meet him?"  
"We were in the same primary school together, and he was year older. I... I knew I liked boys better than girls, but I read mami's journal... and... there was something in there like "one of my greatest fears will be that Lance is gay"... I was kid and I didn't read the whole page. When I saw that... I... I felt so sick... papi would be the one who... he'd be so disappointed... mami... mami always... she... love me"  
Lance choked on his sob and shook his head  
"Lance, no one is disappointed in you. You're parents might not understand, but we know how much you love them and how many good memories you have, or there could have been something more that you didn't read. Lance, you're prefect the way you are"  
Lance shook his head  
"I knew I was doing the wrong thing... but it was exciting. When I started high school, we started hanging out again... and I thought he liked me. We'd like... hang out all the time and always... I don't know... but... he figured out I like him"  
"Lance, did he...?"  
"No! No... he didn't... the most we did was we kiss a little, but then... one day, he asked me to meet him behind the school that night. It was new and exciting... so I snuck out. He was waiting for me... we... he started touching me and when I moaned, he shoved me down, and started kicking the shit out of me, laughing because I was disgusting and wrong. His friends were watching the whole thing..."  
Keith wanted to find the bastard who'd hurt Lance and gut him. He'd seen how narrow minded society could be, and didn't understand how that in date and time, people could still be so backwards. Clenching his fists, he looked over his shoulder to Shiro. Shiro had experienced all this before, and it probably brought up a lot of painful memories he'd rather forget  
"I... I'm sorry. If I didn't... if I wasn't..."  
"No. You have nothing to be sorry about. You've been so brave telling us"  
"I never... I never told anyone the truth... I was so scared... they... I was..."  
"Lance, focus on breathing"  
Lance shook his head, continuing through small hiccuping sobs. It must have been eating him alive to keep things bottle up like this for so long  
"They poured gasoline on me... one of them pulled my pants down... they... pushed the nozzle.... in... it was him. He laughed as kicked me in the face... it felt like it was hours... my... my brother found me. It... it burnt so bad... but they didn't light it... My parents... I couldn't tell them the truth... it's not like I only like boys, but every time I... like someone... I can't forget it... I feel so wrong... like I'm dirty. Now you both hate me... I... I shouldn't have..."  
Shiro lifted Lance off the bed and onto his lap, wrapping his arm around him so his hand was holding Lance's head against the crook of his neck   
"You're not dirty and we don't hate you. What they did to you was wrong. They're the ones who are wrong. They're the ones who are dirty"  
"Everyone at school knew... they... when I came back. So... my friends... female friends would flirt with me because they didn't believe I liked boys... but... even if the person I liked liked me back... it'd never work out"  
So what? Lance flirted with everyone so they wouldn't take him seriously? So they wouldn't want to be with him? It was like... some kind of messed up rejection? Keith's other side was shaking. Shocked that someone could do that to their omega. Hushing Lance, Shiro kissed the top of his head  
"You did so well... I'm so proud of you"  
"It hurts... it hurts and I hate it! I can't forget it!"  
"And Kuron didn't help. I don't know how, but I remember somethings. I know he was cruel to you and I know he hit you. But do you know why?"  
"Because I'm the weak link..."  
"No. Because you're the one who keeps the team going. You're always trying your hardest for everyone. No matter how much you get hurt or everything sucks, you always try to cheer us all up. That's why he went after you. That's why he tried to isolate you, because he knew how much you do for everyone"  
"Everything I do is wrong"  
"No, Lance. I promise you that's not the case"  
"I just want to be useful... maybe then... the others will like me"  
"They do like you, they love you and you are useful"

Lance buried his face against Shiro's neck, crying himself to sleep in the man's arms. Once asleep, Shiro looked over to him  
"Did you know?"  
"I had no idea... he just snapped. I nearly hit him"  
"You didn't know. This has been a hard day for him, but now that he knows he's not wrong or disgusting, the healing can begin. I know you were going to confess, but I think you should at least give him few quintants"  
"I'm not going to just drop my feelings on him, not after that. Even I'm not that stupid. God. Those little fucks are lucky they're back on Earth"  
"I agree. What he went through is something no one should ever have to"  
"Are you ok?"  
Shiro paused, letting out a long breath  
"I'm amazed that I'm still amazed over things like this. By now, you would think that people could see past things like this and accept people for who they are"  
Keith nodded as he looked over his shoulder   
"I'll stay with him. I don't think I could leave, even if wanted to"  
"I'll see about organising some food and see how the repairs are coming along. How does your ankle feel?"  
"Nice topic change. It's fine. The pod healed it"  
"Good. I was worried we weren't going to have enough power"  
"Even if we didn't, I would still want him to go first. He was shaken when I first found him, but he went down hill so fast..."  
"I think you both need some bed rest"  
"Lance is going to hate that"  
"It's for his own good. Maybe his physiotherapist can recommend some exercises"  
Shiro emphasised the word "exercises" in a way he never needed to hear  
"You did not just say that"  
"I did and I'm not taking it back. Let's get Lance settled"

Lance briefly stirred as they laid him back in bed, rolling back towards Keith and grabbing his shirt in a death grip, before his breathing slowly levelled out. From the end of the bed, Shiro let out a small laugh, causing Keith to scowl  
"Tell anyone and I'll hurt you"  
"It's sweet"  
"It's not sweet... ok, maybe it is. But no is to know for now"  
"I can't be blamed if they figure it out"  
"Yeah, and what if Pidge says something that triggers him by accident? No. My heart is still racing from all of that"  
"Pidge won't say anything, and if the others do, I'll step in. On your end of all of this, you're going to need to be patient with him. He's probably going to keep trying to pull away, and keep believing he's dirty"  
"He's not..."  
"No. No he's not. But to have such a profound trauma that young, it's been ingrained in him for years now, this feeling it was wrong. I'll check on you both later. If anything happens, both your Bayard's are in your set of drawers. We don't want Allura scolding you over leaving Lance's behind again"  
Yeah... it'd been under the debris on Lance's room when the Olkari had found it. Keith wasn't taking the blame for it being left behind when Lance was rescued   
"Thanks, Shiro. And I know Lance will want to thank you too"  
"Anytime"

 

*  
Waking up, Keith couldn't really believe that firstly he'd fallen asleep, or secondly that Lance was spooned up in his arms. Shiro had made good on delivering food while they'd slept, he could smell something like fruit and pastry, but right now, all of his attention was on Lance and how good it felt to be holding him. How perfectly his body curved into his. How soft his hair was against Keith's cheek. The way his hand was holding Keith's against his chest... he'd never expected something like that to have been in Lance's past. Never. Lance had always seemed so care free, so happy and so in love with life. He'd heard it said before that those who loved the most had been hurt the most and always thought that stupid, but now he realised how true it was. His love for Shiro as a brother, which had taken him years to understand. Lance's love for the team, never wanting them to be sad, he just wanted them to be protected from the pain he'd been through. Closing his eyes again, Keith nuzzled into Lance's shoulder, kissing the small piece of exposed skin. He'd make Lance happy. No matter what they had to go through to get there.

It wasn't long before he felt Lance shift in his hold. The hold on his hand loosening as Lance tensed   
"Hey... you awake?"  
"Keith?"  
"Yeah, how are you feeling?"  
Wriggling away from him, Lance released his hand as he rolled over to face him with a small yawn  
"Exhausted... I. I'm sorry for what I said"  
Smiling softly, Keith stared into Lance's sleepy eyes. He looked cautious and slightly confused   
"No. It's not your fault. I didn't understand, but I do now"  
"I hurt you... I hurt Shiro"  
"You didn't hurt us. We're both ok"  
"I didn't want you to know"  
With Lance tearing up, Keith pulled him close  
"You did nothing wrong. It was them"  
"It hurt so much... they wouldn't stop..."  
"Shhh, you don't have to remember"  
"I feel so stupid"  
"You're not stupid"  
"I feel it"  
"Well, you're not. Shiro brought us some food while we were sleeping and you probably wanna take a shower?"  
"Yeah... a shower would be really good. Thanks Keith. Thank you for being my friend.... even after..."  
There was that word again. Friend. He so desperately wanted to call Lance out, to tell him he wanted to be more than friends, but Shiro had told him to take it slow  
"You're welcome. Do you need help?"  
"Um... getting to the shower... I um... was getting better at standing"  
"I can help, if you need"  
Lance shook his head, pulling away and pushing himself up  
"Sorry. I just need to think for a bit"  
"Well do you need a chair or something? For the shower?"  
"I think I wanna try standing... but, can you help me get in there?"  
"Sure, I've got you"

Lifting Lance, Keith carried him down the hall and into the bathroom they were sharing. Standing him up, Lance wobbled slightly before nodding  
"I'll be ok, I can use the walls"  
Keith didn't want to go. Even if he'd been kicked outside to wait in hall, that would be better than leaving Lance to shower all alone, then Shiro's words decided to come back... again...  
"Come back to the room when you're done"  
"Thanks Keith..."  
Keith was barely out the room before realise Lance didn't have a towel, turning back, he opened the door without thinking, causing Lance to scream  
"What are you doing?!"  
With his shirt clutched against his chest, Lance's face was a fierce red  
"Ok... over reacting much? I was going to tell you that I need to bring you a towel, and some actual clothes... but if you'd rather I didn't..."  
"What? Oh... I. That would be awesome"  
"I'm going to leave you to shower, but I'll be back. Just tap on the door and I'll give you your things"  
"Right... sorry I screamed. I just... I'm just not used to looking like this"  
By this Lance meant his slightly longer hair and the fact Keith could count his ribs... and probably the new scars too. He wanted to tell Lance he looked beautiful, but Lance's scent was asking him to leave and not to look  
"It's fine. With Hunk's cooking, you'll be back to kicking Galra arse soon enough"  
Leaving it at that, Keith ducked back out the room, pulling the door closed a little too firmly.

"Keith?"  
"Jesus!"  
Growling as he jumped, Shiro grinned at him from where he was leaning against the hallway wall, scowling, Keith moved to Shiro's side  
"Don't do that!"  
"I thought I heard a scream"  
"I walked in on Lance getting undressed. I forgot to tell him he needed a towel, so I was going to grab one for him"  
"How is he?"  
"He thanked me for being his friend, and he still exhausted"  
"You guys were out for nearly 12 vargas... he shouldn't still be tired"  
"We were what?"  
"You slept through until 3pm..."  
"It doesn't feel like that..."  
Probably because he woke up and tried to go back to sleep... after probably one of the best wake ups he'd ever had. Lance had been in his arms for 12 vargas... soft and warm against him  
"You're smiling..."  
"Shut up"  
"Who thought a few morning cuddles would make you think happy. Maybe we should give you more cuddles"  
"It's... Lance. He looked so... he was so warm and he was holding my hand against his chest. I just wanted to blurt out how much he means to me"  
"You'll have your chance. But for now, you should get him that towel. It's with his clothes and the food Hunk made for you"  
"You really do take care of everything, don't you?"  
"I try"

 

*  
Sitting on the floor of the shower, Lance was curled in a ball as he enjoyed the feeling of the hot water against his muscles. He couldn't believe he'd woken up holding Keith's hand, or cuddled up against Keith's ridiculously warm body. The stupid smile wouldn't leave his face, that's why it wasn't hidden against his knees. For the first time in a long time, it felt like a weight had been lifted off him shoulders, and though thinking about the fact he'd opened his big mouth and told both Keith and Shiro was wrong left him feeling nauseous, they'd been so good about it. So much better than he'd expected... or deserved. Keith had held him, probably all night... he didn't hate him. He wasn't disgusted by him... he'd... He'd even managed a small smile... he... fuck. He loved Keith... like really loved him and not just because of this bond thing, or the fact his body couldn't stop slicking with the desire to have feel Keith against him again. He... he actually loved Keith... fuck... now what did he do? Did he tell him? But what if Keith didn't get it? Or didn't think of him like that? Or thought it was wrong? But Keith had kissed him... last night on the temple, and this morning on his shoulder... was he reading too much into it? What was he supposed to do?! Interrupting his freak out, there was a light knock on the door  
"Lance? Are you alright?"  
"I'm fine!"  
Since when was his voice so high?  
"Ok... you've been in there half a varga"  
It didn't feel like it...  
"Just enjoying the hot water! I'm getting out!"  
Shit... the floor was soaking wet. He wasn't going to be able to stand back up... he couldn't let Keith see him like this! What...   
"Lance?! The waters still running..."  
"I know! I'm just... figuring out... can you get Shiro?!"  
"What? Why?!"  
"I'm kind of..."  
"Never mind. I'll get Shiro! Try to be normal by the time I come back!"

Fumbling the taps off, Lance was still sitting on the floor when Shiro entered, towel in hand and a slightly amused look on his face  
"Uh, Keith said you asked for me?"  
"I'm kind of stuck"  
"I can see that. Why didn't you just ask Keith?"  
"Because I... um. Just help me up"  
Pulling him up, Lance took the towel and wrapped it around his waist before shooting Shiro a glare  
"Not a word to Keith"  
"I don't think he'd mind"  
"Shiro. I'm supposed he'd even talking to me still. So can we not do this, right here, in the bathroom while I looked like a drowned something"  
"A drowned rat?"  
Lance half glared at Shiro  
"I was hoping for something better looking"  
"A drowned Paladin?"  
"Ugh. Fine. You're as bad as Keith..."  
"He's been waiting outside the door in case you needed help"  
"What? He has?"  
"He's been worried about you"  
"He has? I mean, I know you two talk like all the time... but you talk about me?"  
Shiro snorted  
"Do you find it that strange?"  
"No!... ok...Maybe. This is Keith. He's not great with the words"  
"He is when he cares about someone"  
Taking his arm, Shiro helped him shuffle and not slip on the wet bathroom floor as they headed towards Keith's room. Oh god. He couldn't do this...  
"He only cares about me because I'm a Paladin"  
"I think we both know that's not true. Lance, Keith cares a lot for you. Just talk to him"  
Shiro was not getting it. Not even the fact he didn't want Keith looking at his body while he looked like this. He wanted to look good for Keith. To be better for Keith. To be worthy of being by Keith's side... if he'd have him... Shiro was there last night. He knew Lance was scared! He'd... he'd probably even faced the same thing  
"But... Shiro, I don't know what to say. I... I think I like him... but what to do I do? I don't know how to like people?! I don't know what to do... I don't. I don't want him to hate me for this, or because of our other sides"  
His bottom lip trembled at he stared at the closed door, Keith was probably sitting right on the other side. Oh god... what was he supposed to say?! Pulled against Shiro, Lance shook his head   
"I don't want to mess this up! He's been so good to me"  
"Lance, I promise you're not going to mess this up"  
"But how do you know!?"  
"Because I know Keith. But if you feel like you need some space or time, I'll come in with you"  
"You will?"  
"Of course"  
"Thank you. I feel like such a coward"  
"You're not a coward. It's a lot. Last night was a lot to process"  
"I don't even know how to look at him!"  
"With your eyes"  
Lance huffed  
"You're not funny"  
"You're over thinking things"  
"Or you're under thinking them"  
"Really, Lance?"  
"No. I don't think that's possible for you. Now, as much as I'm enjoying this, you need clothes. You're still recovering"  
"I swear to god. If you say I have to stay inside, I will never talk to you again"  
"You're the one who said it"  
"That's it, you're off the Christmas card list"  
"I know for a fact you wouldn't do that"  
Opening the door behind him, Shiro used his hip to nudge him forward, Lance immediately catching Keith's worried scent   
"What took you so long?!"  
"Sorry, I uh..."  
"I just wanted to make sure Lance was alright after last night"  
"Did he give you a space dad talk?"  
"Dude, you know Shiro lives for his space dad talks... but it helped. I just need to figure out how to get dressed with you two pervs in the room"  
"You can't even walk"  
"Rude. I can hobble and shuffle"  
"Says the guy who stuck on the shower floor"  
"I was enjoying the hot water"  
Shiro sighed, helping Lance over to the bed where Keith was currently patting Yorak. The moment he sat, the wolf was climbing into his lap, before licking at his cheek happily and yipping   
"Three perverts! You're all perverts! And you're the worst, aren't you Yorak!"  
Yorak yipped as if agreeing, while Lance was secretly relieved the wolf was covering most of his chest so Keith couldn't see. Between his legs was growing wetter, Keith's scent making it harder than he'd thought. He didn't know what to do now...  
"Yorak, that's enough. Lance needs food and rest. You can get back up on the bed once he's eaten"  
Yorak betrayed him, jumping off his lap to stare up at him with a thumping tail  
"I'll grab your clothes. Keith, why don't you help Lance get dressed?"  
"I can dress myself. Both of you can just turn around or something..."  
He'd expected some kind of smart quip from Keith, but getting of the bed his crush grabbed his clothes for him, before looking away while Shiro did the same.

Drying and dressing clumsily, Lance was happy to fall back on the bed. Allowing himself a few ticks to regain his composure. With the towel on the floor, all he could smell was the honey like sweetness of his slick. He hated not being able to control it... and the fact it was just so weird...  
"Guys, I'm dressed"  
Keith turned around first, Lance not daring to look at him properly over his stomach  
"But you're laying down"  
"Eating seems like too much trouble"  
"Lance, you have to eat"  
"Or I could totally sleep?"  
Shiro wasn't having it, retrieving a plate of food from the rooms small dresser and placing it on his stomach   
"I'm not leaving until both of you have eaten"  
"But Shiro, I'm sleepy"  
"And you can sleep after you've eaten"  
"Nope. I'm stuck here now. I shall be weighed down forever by this plate"  
Keith snorted, moving to sit on the bed beside him, like it was nothing. Lifting the plate up, he stared at Lance until Lance finally sat up  
"You're on his side, aren't you"  
"I learned a long time ago that arguing with Shiro doesn't get you anywhere. Besides, if you don't eat this, you'll have to go back to hospital food"  
"That's just mean. Shiro, can you at least sit down or something. It's weird being watched"  
"Or Shiro could go back to work. There's probably a lot that needs to be done"  
Noooo. Shiro needed to be here to keep Lance from screwing everything up   
"Or he could stay"  
"Lance..."  
"Shiro's staying. Or he can help me back to my room... or to Red. I miss my lion. I mean, I just can't stay in your room forever"  
"You could..."  
Lance choked on the piece of space fruit he was eating, hacking and spluttering. Did he hear Keith right? Did Keith mean he could like share the room? Or did he mean he'd just bunk down in another one  
"You're supposed to chew"  
"I think I remember how to eat"  
"I'm pretty sure you showed us you didn't. Maybe you need to go back into the healing pod?"  
"I'm fine. You're the one who needs healing. Seriously, this is your room. I'm fine going back to mine"  
"And it's fine. I don't mind you being here"  
"But it's your room"  
"But I don't mind you being here!"  
Shiro burst out laughing as Keith yelled at him, the blush on Keith's face was spectacular   
"That's my cue to leave"  
"What? No. I'm coming with you"  
"Lance, just rest here. Keith seems to really want you here"  
"Fuck you, Shiro. Lance, just eat and then go to sleep"  
Even if Keith hadn't meant to, he'd just used a command and Lance couldn't actually say no. So after eating as slow as humanly possible, that was how he found himself once again sleeping in Keith's bed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nope I have no idea if anything is in the right order anymore. Thanks phone...

Twice in a row now Keith had woken with Lance in his arms. Twice he'd nearly blurred out his feelings for the Red Paladin, but the second time Lance had woke had been due to one hell of nightmare, even kicking him in his sleep hard enough to wake Keith up. Shaking Lance awake, Lance had sucked in a huge breath, before grabbing for him. Without even thinking Keith had pulled him close, rubbing his back in wide circles as Lance fought his way back to breathing normally. If only Lance knew what he was doing to his heart. When Lance had asked for Shiro's help rather than his, it had physically hurt. He wanted Lance to rely on him. To let him in and to let him help. It was all too soon that Lance was pulling away from his grasp, his voice soft as he spoke  
"I'm sorry"  
"It's ok. You were having a nightmare. Want to talk about it?"  
"It... no. It's ok. It's stupid"  
"Lance, it's not stupid. We all have nightmares. Talking might make you feel better"  
Lance nodded slowly, taking a deep breath before releasing it shakily  
"I was dead again. I kept screaming I didn't want to die, but it just so cold and black... and no one saved me"  
"That sounds like a shit dream"  
"It was. God. I feel so sick and so cold"  
"Lay back down, we can cuddle for a bit"  
Lance forced a very fake laugh  
"You want to cuddle?"  
"You're cold, and I've always run warm"  
"Mmm. I suppose"  
Lance let himself lay back down, but Keith pulled him close and manoeuvred them so Lance's head rested on his chest  
"You really are stupidly warm"  
"I think it's the Galra blood, or the fact Yorak was sleeping with his back against mine"  
"He's such a good wolf"  
"He is, and he's got good taste"  
"What's that got to do with anything?"  
"I was just thinking about how much he loves you"  
"I wouldn't call it good taste. I doubt I even taste good"  
Nuzzling against Keith's chest, Keith trying to use his scent to lull Lance back to sleep. He hoped that he was telling him he was safe in Keith's arms, and that Keith wouldn't let anything happen to him  
"I feel like I've been sleeping for vargas"  
"We probably have been"  
"That means you should get back to work"  
"It's fine. Allura and Shiro have it covered, and if they really needed me, they'd have come and got me"  
"I'm sorry for taking up all your time"  
"You haven't got anything to be sorry for"  
"That's because you're such a good friend to me. Since you've come back... I... it makes me worry that it's because of what I am now"  
"What you are?"  
"An omega or whatever it's called"  
"You're worried I'm only being nice to you because we're bonded on some level?"  
"A little..."  
"Lance, I've liked you since before that happened"  
"You did? I always thought that maybe you were just putting up with me"  
"Maybe in the beginning, but you've grown on me"  
"Thanks, I think"  
"I mean it though. I do like you"  
"I like you too... I don't know how I would have gotten through everything without you around"  
Keith let out a sigh, which wasn't what he was expecting at all. He was trying to tell Lance that he kind of had a crush on him, but Lance wasn't getting it  
"Lance, I like you"  
"You just said that"  
"But. I mean. I like you"  
"I like you too bud"  
"Are you doing this on purpose?"  
"Doing what?"  
"I'm trying to tell you I like you. Shiro said you needed time, but... I like you"  
Lance's breath caught, pushing himself enough for Keith to look him in the eye  
"You what?"  
"I. Like. You. Ok. I'm not good at this word thing. You know this"  
"You like me?"  
"Yes. I like like you. I couldn't understand it, but now I know I do. I know you're worried about this other side of us, but I liked you before that"  
"But. What? Why? How? When... since when?"  
"For a while"  
"And you didn't say anything?"  
"I didn't want to make you feel pressured or make you feel like it was just because of the herb"  
"You... actually like me?"  
Groaning, Keith dropped his head back against the pillow  
"Keith?"  
"I keep telling you I like you. What aren't you getting?"  
"I just... ok. I'm going to kill Shiro"  
"What does Shiro have to do with any of this?"  
"I told him I liked you and he didn't say anything! I was freaking out. I thought you were going to hate me, and I told myself that if I didn't tell you, you wouldn't be mad or disgusted"  
"I'm not mad and I'm not disgusted"  
"But you like me..."  
"If you say that one more time, I'm going to kick you out of my bed"  
"It's just... I never thought you'd like me back"  
"Well I do"  
"I don't know what to say"  
"That makes a first"  
"Shut up. God. I feel so stupid... and like really happy..."  
"You think you feel stupid. Imagine telling the guy you like that you like him and having him ask you a hundred times like you stuttered the first time"  
"You can't blame me for being confused. I thought you'd be mad"  
"You're making me mad"  
"I didn't mean to, but you freaking like me!"  
"That's it, you're being kicked out"  
Wrapping his arms around Lance, he rolled him as he was actually going to kick him out. Clutching him, Lance laughed loudly  
"No! I'm staying! I'll be good!"  
Continuing to roll them over, Yorak huffed as he climbed off the bed, making space for Keith to straddle Lance's lap  
"Do you know how to be good?"  
"Of course I do!"  
"Then be quite"  
Leaning in Keith pressed a nervous kiss to Lance's lips, which barely lasted a tick  
"Holy shit... you kissed me"  
"Was I not meant to?"  
"No. No. You can definitely do it again. In fact, I'd really like it if you did"  
Giving Lance another quick kiss, Lance laughed beneath him  
"What?"  
"You're just... I can't believe it"  
"You can get used to it"  
"I can?"  
"Well. We... um... I want to see. Do you maybe want to..."  
"Are you trying to ask me out? Do you want me to be your boyfriend?"  
"Yes"  
Lance shot up, his lips smashed against Keith's. The kiss was horribly awkward, neither of them really knowing what to do, but, fuck. His heart felt like it was about to explode. Breaking the kiss, Lance pulled back, his so smile huge that Keith felt himself smiling at the sight  
"I might not be any good at this"  
"I figured it's going to be a bit of an adjustment"  
"Maybe... should I apologise now in case I freak out?"  
"We're both probably going to freak out"  
"I can't remember ever being this happy... is that bad?"  
"No... what does you other side think?"  
"Are you kidding dude, it's soooo happy right now. You're..."  
Lance's smiled suddenly dropped  
"Lance?"  
"My body isn't normal"  
"Seriously? Do you think I don't know?"  
"I don't even understand it properly"  
"Neither do I. So I guess we'll be figuring this out together?"  
"You... really mean it?"  
"Yeah. We can take it as slow as you need"  
"I don't know what a heat is like"  
"Neither do I"a  
"If... I said I want to spend my first heat alone, would you be mad?"  
"No. We don't need to rush this"  
"I just don't want my first time to be due to my heat"  
How could Lance be so annoying one dobosh and so adorable the next?  
"We'll wait until we're ready. Until you're ready"  
Throwing his arms around him, Lance nuzzled his neck furiously  
"Thank you! Best boyfriend ever!"  
"We only just started dating"  
"I don't care. I'm too happy"  
It was weird to know he was the cause of Lance's happiness, but he felt a kind of pride over it. Lance liked him back and now they were dating! If this was a dream, he really didn't want to wake up. Practically shoving Lance down, Keith slipped to lay beside him, before forcing him back up so Lance's head was on his chest again  
"You smell really happy"  
"I am happy"  
"I know you're better with actions, but I like being able to smell your emotions"  
"Tell me that when I wake up horny"  
"You get horny?"  
"Everyone gets horny"  
"Wow. I kind of want to see it now"  
"Yeah, well, don't be surprised if you wake up and I am. You have no idea what you do to me"  
"I... I'm slick. I mean. I slick, so I'm sorry if I slick on you"  
"It's fine. I'm not mad over something you can't control, I just didn't want you feeling forced or pressured"  
Lance hummed, kissing his chest  
"Best boyfriend ever"  
Did it really count if Lance wasn't actually dating that arsehole when he was teen? Because that would mean he was Lance's first proper boyfriend and that there wasn't actually anyone to compare him to... Holy quiznak... he was dating Lance!

 

*  
Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Holy fuuuuuuuck! Lance... Lance didn't know what to do. He was dating Keith! Like dating! Like boyfriends! Space boyfriends. He was so happy... like...  
"Keith... we are actually dating, right?"  
"This again?"  
"I just. I'm so happy I want to scream"  
"I wouldn't recommend it... you'd probably summon Shiro, or one of the others"  
"But Keith, I'm really happy! Like really, really happy!"  
"It suits you..."  
"Keith, can I kiss you?"  
"You're asking?"  
Wriggling up in Keith's hold, Lance's lips found Keith's. The kisses small and simple, though Lance was kind of wanting to try deepening them... he was slicking so badly that it was running down his legs, but didn't want to scare Keith off. And why was he shaking?! Collapsing against Keith, Lance nuzzled his cheek, feeling like a total dork  
"You ok?"  
"I'm still really happy"  
"You don't need to be that happy. I'm just me"  
"I'm happy because it is you"  
"What am I going to do with you?"  
"Ummm... I don't know. But I think you have to go back to work"  
"I thought we were having a moment"  
"We are! We totally are! I'm just saying, I don't want the others walking in on us like this"  
"Embarrassed?"  
"Not by you. I just... I don't want to be teased. I want this work. And I don't... I don't want them to laugh"  
"If anyone laughs, I'll make them walk back to Earth"  
"You can't do that"  
"I can, and I will"  
"That's an abuse of power"  
"You're dating the leader of Voltron, I think you're allowed to abuse the power"  
"Keith, I didn't know you had it in you!"  
"What can I say? You're a bad influence"  
"Gotta keep you on your toes"  
"No, no you really don't. But if you really want to get up, we can"  
"I need to use the bathroom, but I don't want to let you go"  
"You're not allowed to wet the bed"  
"I'm not going to wet the bed. God. Why am I dating you?"  
"Because you like me"  
"That's right. Thanks for reminding me. Now, can we please get out of this bed? I want to go outside. I want to take Yorak for a walk. I wanna see Red"  
"And what am I supposed to do while you're doing all of this?"  
"You're my boyfriend, and I can't walk on my own... sooo, wanna go on an extremely lame date with me?"

Cleaned up and dressed, Lance was holding Keith's arm in a death grip as he shuffled through the Olkari building that was their temporary home. After spend weeks with his boots off his feet felt heavy and clumsy, though Keith was being incredibly patient, Lance was ready to start yelling. He felt stupid and slow, already sweating and they'd only just made it to the dining room. Lance didn't even have time to even pause to breathe before he was crashing back into Keith  
"Lance!"  
"Holy shit, Pidge! What are you doing?"  
With Pidge practically crushing him, Lance had no idea what was going on  
"Sorry. I'm sorry for being so mean! I didn't mean it! I've missed you"  
"Pidge..."  
"I think what Lance is trying to say is that he can barely stand, but he's missed you too"  
Released him just as suddenly as she'd grabbed him  
"Sorry. You and Keith have been hidden away for the last quintants. Shiro said we should give you some time and space"  
"It's fine Pidge. I've missed you, and Keith is right, I've been out of action for so long that I'm a little shaky. Where are the others?"  
"Hunk's in the kitchen, because well... he's Hunk. Allura and Romelle are doing a mall run for supplies and stuff. Coran... I think he's down helping the Olkari with Shiro and sorry Keith, I have no idea where your mum is"  
"That's ok. She'll turn up. How are the repairs going?"  
"Good. You wouldn't believe how quick things are getting rebuilt around here. The hospital's already open again, though they're running limited services until the rest of the works done"  
"Ugh... I don't want to go back... Leah's going to yell at me"  
Pidge pursed her lips, as her hands went to her hips  
"Who's Leah?"  
"His physiotherapist. Shiro did mention that you should probably talk to her about exercises you can do around here"  
"Walking and stretching. Definitely stretching. She's gonna yell at me for walking"  
"You're not allowed to walk?"  
"More like I have to work up to walking on my own. Buuuut, I have a limp now"  
"You have a limp?"  
Had Keith seriously not noticed? He wasn't supposed to limp, but it didn't hurt his calf as badly when he did. Yeah. Leah was definitely going to yell at him... and Keith didn't sound happy. Whoops...  
"And scars. Chicks dig scars"  
Pidge rolled her eyes with a heavy sigh  
"Whatever. I guess this is what I get for being worried about you"  
"Awww you were worried"  
"I hope Keith takes you on a long long walk... far far away"  
"Aw Pidge, don't be like that. You can come with us"  
"Why would I want to do that? No. I have much more exciting things to do here"  
Lance looked to Keith, Keith still looked slightly annoyed. Probably over the whole "limp" thing  
"We should go then. I can't wait to get back outside"  
"Just don't go too far"  
"I thought you wanted us to go far far awaaaaaay"  
Pidge went to say something, but instead stopped herself and stepped out the way  
"The sooner your gone, the sooner I can get back working in peace. Keith, make sure he doesn't go hurting himself in even more"  
"I don't know if that's possible..."  
Stepping on Keith's toes, his boyfriend glared back as he shut up  
"Rude much"  
"Whatever, let's just go"

Shuffling away from Pidge, it was just one more hallway and a door between him and freedom. His grip on Keith's hand finally getting too much for his boyfriend, so now he had his arm around Lance waist. Which had Lance internally melting down. His boyfriend had his arm around him! Keith had his arm around him!  
"What are you smiling at?"  
"Me? What? Nothing"  
"Sure. You're starting to creep me out"  
Lance pouted, coming to a stop  
"I was just thinking this feels nice. I don't have to tell you everything"  
"Oh"  
"Oh? That's all you have to say? Can't I be happy to be hugged my boyfriend?"  
"Didn't you just say "chicks dig scars"?"  
Lance's pout morphed into a frown  
"Are you mad?"  
"About what?"  
"About I said? I just... I mean... I thought you'd be ok with keeping this between us for now? I didn't mean to upset you"  
"You didn't upset me. I just guess I wasn't expecting it"  
"You sound upset"  
"I'm not upset"  
"I'm making a mess of this already..."  
He was trying hard to ignore the tiny voices telling him this was wrong, especially when Keith made him so happy. If Keith liked him, that made them the same and there was nothing wrong with Keith. Clenching his fists so hard that his nails bit into his palms, he scrunched his eyes closed. He didn't want Keith yelling at him or being mad  
"You're not making a mess of things"  
"But I hurt you and made you mad"  
"You didn't hurt me, so you can stop looking so scared. I understand ok. You don't have to be so worried"  
"I just want this to work"  
"So do I. But you're going to make me mad if you keep asking if I'm mad or not. I'll tell you if I'm mad"  
Cautiously opening his eyes, Keith sighed  
"See. Not mad"  
"Sorry"  
"I'm banning you from saying story, or making it a command or whatever. Just stop being so nervous. You're making me nervous"  
"I can't help it. It feels like a dream. First you ask me out. Then you let me walk around. Then Pidge apologised and now we're like nearly outside and you were like hugging me"  
"You really have been starved of adventure, haven't you?"  
"You have no idea. Even getting to shower alone... I am never taking hot water for granted again"  
"So you wouldn't maybe... at some point... want to take a shower together? I mean, I could help you"  
"Wow. Smooth. Ok, calm down Casanova. One step at a time"  
"I mean..."  
"Keith, I'm teasing you. Ok. I'm not up to yet, but you do know I'm gonna go into heat sometime, and when I go, I'm going to need you to look after me"  
"Only when you go into heat?"  
"You can look after me all you like outside of my heat... but for now, can we please just take Yorak outside. Find some sun, and I might even let you kiss me again"  
"I'd like that"

Lance's strength gave up once they reached the sunshine. Half falling against Keith, Keith lifted him easily  
"Legs sore?"  
"Yeah, they're cramping again"  
"Cramping?"  
"Maybe not cramping exactly, but it happens. My lower back is kind of tense so it affects how I walk. I'm supposed to do stretches and stuff, but instead I've just been sleeping instead"  
"Are they easy stretches? Something I can help you with?"  
"They're kind of like the normal stretches Shiro used to make us do"  
"That's easy"  
"I'm glad you think so. Now onwards, to the grass and the trees! Yorak, lead the way!"  
Yorak yipped, already teleporting away towards the tree line, leaving Keith to carry him after him  
"I think he's happy to be outside"  
"And I don't think you appreciate how nice it really is"  
"I appreciate how nice you are"  
Leaning up, Lance pressed a kiss to Keith's cheek  
"I think I've broken you. You're being so nice"  
"Don't blame me. It just keeps coming out"  
"I always knew you were a big softy"  
"Unless anyone hurts you. Then I'm going to murder them"  
"Fuck. Ok, no more being so possessive. I can't handle how hot my other side finds it"  
Possessive Keith equaled more slick... nice to know  
"I'm serious Lance. I don't want you to hide things from me, and I don't want you to feel like you're being pushed around"  
"Even by you?"  
"Would you listen?"  
"Nope. Unless it's a command"  
"You know I don't mean to use them. I don't even really know how to. Mum tried to explain it, but I'm only half Galra..."  
"It's fine. You were using them all the time when I first woke up, but the last one you gave me was to go to sleep last night"  
"And here I thought maybe you wanted to sleep in my arms"  
"I did... I, uh. I do"  
"Then what are you telling me off for?"  
"I'm not. I'm just saying. Why has talking to you become soooo much harder?"  
"Like you don't know how to be normal?"  
"I'm so glad I'm not alone"  
"Shiro would call us idiots"  
"Shiro wouldn't call anyone an idiot. He'd just pinch the bridge of his nose and give us that dad look"  
"I've known him long enough to know he'd be thinking it"  
"He can think it, as long as he doesn't say it. I don't see why he couldn't tell me that you liked me back. I was agonising over it"  
"You weren't the only one... he's the one who told me you liked me. I mean. I thought you did, but I didn't want to mess this up"  
"That traitor! He just told me to talk to you. I was nearly crying and he told me talk to you. How's that for friendship?"  
"You can yell at him later, if it helps"  
"I'm not going to yell at him. No... I'm going to get my revenge"  
"Nothing too extreme?"  
"If he wakes up find his hair bright pink, it wasn't me"  
"Sure. Because we totally have hair dye"  
"I'm sure I can arrange it. Aren't Allura and Romelle at the mall?"  
"We're not calling them. If we do this, we're doing it alone"  
Lance beamed up at Keith, his boyfriend looking just as happy and mischievous  
"Oh. I think I'm really going to like dating you"  
"A new partner in crime"  
"Excuse you, we were totally partners in crime before hand. You just took a leave of absence"  
"I'm not leaving again. Aaaand look, Yorak's found a spot. Is this alright?"

 

*  
Nestled in a small clearing, the soft green grass and dappled sunshine spilling across the space was perfect for a nap, and Yorak knew it. The wolf throwing himself down and rolling around in the grass with a dopey look on his face, before huffing and flopping on his side, his tail thumping against the grass  
"Good puppy! It's perfect and no ones going to find us here"

Carefully sitting Lance down, Lance pulled him down on top of him, his legs wrapping around his waist loosely  
"You're supposed to be stretching"  
"I am. I'm just preventing you from running away before I get that kiss"  
Happy to oblige, Keith pressed his lips against Lance's. Planning on giving him a small kiss before scolding him again over the fact he wasn't stretching, instead Lance deepened the kiss almost hungrily, his hips rocking against Keith in a way that had his other side roaring for more. Lance might have been stupidly happy, but he had no idea Keith was just as happy. Lance was finally his, and there was no way he was going to let him go. Continuing their heated kisses, Lance whined into his mouth as rocked harder, both the teens growing hard and Keith knew if they went any further, he wasn't going to able to stop himself. With a regretful sigh he broke the kiss  
"Lance"  
"Keith"  
Wriggling playfully, Lance's eyes half closed, his chest rising as he panted. Fuck. He wanted more. He wanted to hear Lance moan. He wanted to touch him and drink in the body of the beautiful creature beneath him  
"If we keep going, I'm not going to be able to stop"  
"Oh..."  
"Yeah"  
"I... um... I really like kissing you"  
"I've noticed"  
Lance's cheeks dusted red, his legs loosening though his groin was still flush against Keith's  
"We should stop..."  
"Just for now. We'll save the other stuff for once you've healed. I don't want to risk hurting you"  
"You're not going to hurt me. My body's changed..."  
"I didn't... no. I mean, you hips and your legs"  
Lance's blush grew redder  
"I'm so embarrassed right now"  
"Don't be embarrassed... I'm not stopping because I don't want you"  
To make his point, Keith ground down against Lance. His boyfriend moaning softly as he did  
"You tease"  
"You started it"  
"You started it with your stupid good looks. Seriously, who said you could come back and look so good?"  
"I'm not the only one who looks good. You look good like this. Pinned beneath me and panting"  
"Keeeith. We both know I don't look good"  
"I think you do"  
"That's because... you haven't seen how gross I look without clothes. I really don't like it"  
"You don't look gross"  
"I do. I've lost weight and I'm covered in scars... I'm not ready for you to see that yet"  
Keith had seen plenty of Lance's body while he'd been healing. Helping get Lance from the pod and back into his bed, he couldn't exact not see... and it wasn't like he hadn't seen Lance walking around in just a towel. But none of this was what Lance wanted to hear  
"We can take our time. We'll do your stretches, then we can just lay here and talk"  
"And you're ok with that?"  
"Why wouldn't I be?"  
"Because you're hard"  
"So? I like you. I want to be with you. That doesn't mean we have to have sex right away or even do anything more than kissing..."  
And practically dry humping against each other... because as weird as it was, he was more than ok with it  
"Mmm. Ok. You should get off me then... just give me another kiss first"  
Keith smiled as he did, hoping Lance could feel how much he liked him in other ways than his obvious arousal.

After running through Lance's stretches with him, Keith swore that the second they were done Lance fell asleep to escape talking. Curled on his side facing towards Yorak, his boyfriend was smiling in his sleep. He'd missed Lance's smile, and no matter how nice and warm the sun felt against his skin, Keith just wasn't able to take his eyes off Lance and wasn't able to let himself fall asleep. He was actually dating him. He was in a real relationship with the guy he'd been crushing on. So while Lance might have been afraid this was all a dream, so was he. Tentatively Keith inched forward, snaking an arm around Lance's waist, burying his face against his boyfriend's soft hair. 

Lance's nap lasted just under varga, Keith watching over him the whole time. Rolling over in his hold, Lance smiled softly as he reached up to push Keith's fringe back, leaving his hand half cupping Keith's cheek  
"Did you nap?"  
"No, I left that to you"  
"Seriously? The point of laying in the sun is to nap"  
"I just didn't feel like it"  
"You're missing out. It's so nice and warm"  
"You were complaining about sleeping, so we come outside and you fall asleep"  
"Outside napping doesn't count"  
"I thought this was supposed to be a date?"  
"You can totally nap in the sun on a date aaand this is space so Earth rules don't apply aaaaand you're still here with me"  
"Where else would I be?"  
"I don't know. Mmm, I've missed the sun so match. If you're not going to nap, we should take Yorak for that walk"  
"He can walk himself"  
"Because that's responsible pet ownership"  
"Says the guy who's forgotten all about his cow"  
"I didn't forget about Kaltenecker, she's just happier on Olkarion than trapped in Red. As long as she's got fresh grass, she's happy and that's the main thing"  
"Right, and what's the difference between letting Yorak hunt alone and leaving Kaltenecker to graze?"  
Lance groaned and rolled his eyes, his hand dropping back down to his lap  
"Don't you get all logical me, I'm too relaxed to come up with an actual argument"  
"Ok, no logic"  
"Mmm... I think I'm falling back to sleep"  
"Time to get up?"  
"Mmm. We should find a stick, we can play fetch with Yorak on the way to Red"  
"Yorak. Fetch!"

Watching Yorak bring back a stick the size of a small tree, Lance decided to never let Keith be in charge of walking the wolf again.


	11. Chapter 11

Throwing the stick for Yorak, Lance was happy. Not as happy as he had been during their small private nap in the grass, but happy because he was with Keith. He would have been on a whole new level of happiness he'd never believed possible, but anxiety and the tiny little voices in the back of his mind had decided to pipe up, reminding him how it was wrong to like boys, and how he shouldn't be surprised if the day came when Keith decided to leave him alone. Despite the smile plastered across his face, he knew his scent had changed and he could tell from the look on Keith's face that his boyfriend wanted to call him out on it... but he just wasn't ready to ruin the mood. Tossing the stick for Yorak again Lance's legs tangled, sending him sprawling towards the ground. Momentarily shocked and embarrassed, tears formed as Keith threw his arm around his waist stopping his descent  
"Lance!?"  
"No need to yell"  
Couldn't he have one nice day? One day where his inner klutz left him alone and he didn't have to feel broken? Or wrong? With a shaky breath, Lance gently pushed Keith away  
"I'm ok. I tripped on my own feet"  
"That doesn't explain the tears"  
"Oh... um, they kind of just happen on their own. You know, hormones changing and all that"  
"Is that all?"  
"What else could it be? I mean, I'm here with you and Yorak..."  
Keith frowned at him, seeing right through his poor attempt to cover up his sinking mood  
"If it's too much, we can head back"  
"What. No"  
He wasn't ready to go back to being stuck in bed. He didn't want to go back to his own room, and he didn't want Keith to be "forced" to continue keeping him company  
"Then tell me what you're thinking"  
"Just stuff... that stuff. But I'm happy being here with you"  
"Lance, I know it was horrible, but thank you for trusting Shiro and I enough to tell us. You haven't done anything wrong, and I'm happy enough just hanging out with you. Ok?"  
Lance's smile finally turned a little more genuine   
"Yeah. I was kind of looking forward to talking to you about something other than how I'm doing and stuff, like when I was in hospital... I want to know more about..."  
Keith paused, so Lance rushed to add  
"... I mean, in time. Not all at once, and only what you want to tell me"  
"I want to tell you. I really do, but by bit. Some of the stuff you know, like from when we were at the Garrison and stuff, but other stuff is stuff I've only just figured out recently"  
"Keith, you don't have to tell me. I know you're a good person and you're the person I like"  
"I like you too. Don't forget that"  
"I don't think I'm going to be able to. But you'll remind me, if I do?"  
"I think I can find a way to make you remember"  
"Really?"  
"Yep, and I know you want to be independent, but I'm going to carry you the rest of the way down to Red. My alpha nearly lost it when you tripped"  
"I trip. Like a lot. It's going to need to get used to it"  
"Well, for now, you'll just have to accept the fact your boyfriends possessive and wants to carry you around"  
Lance huffed, though honestly, he didn't want to trip again  
"Fiiiiine. You may carry me... carry away"  
Keith rolled his eyes, lifting Lance up by his arse. Wrapping his legs around Keith, Lance stole a quick kiss before hiding his face against Keith's neck. His omega loving the attention, even if he felt like he'd managed to ruin the mood  
"What was that for?"  
"The kiss? To say thank you"  
"Then you should definitely thank me more often"

Red was tentative as her tendrils slowly sank into his mind. His lion confused and ashamed over letting her Paladin be hurt in such a severe manner, and angry at herself for not being able to get him home. No matter what he thought, she was still upset, which Lance chalked up to her bruised ego. Sitting him down on her paw Keith stood between his legs with his palms on Lance's thighs, keeping him grounded as he closed his eyes and let Red explore his mind and memories of the last phoeb. Part of him had been so nervous about seeing Red again and not knowing if she'd even want to talk to him, so it was no exaggeration to say that if Keith hadn't come with him, he doubted he would have been able to face his lion. He knew how stubborn and proud Red could be, so having her see what else he'd been through, it was like ripping a bandaid off a festering wound. Exposing his turbulent thoughts and painful road to recovery had both of them aching. Lance from being forced to relive the feelings and sensations, while Red was forced to see him completely broken, in a state she wasn't able to help. It sucked and it hurt. He didn't want Red feeling like this. He loved her strength and happiness... which didn't come until she brushed against his memories of Keith, and the fact he was now dating his crush. That's when he felt an almighty burst of happiness. Of acceptance and of relief that he had finally found someone who truly accepted him, and understood his fears. Smiling as Red rumbled softly Lance opened his eyes, drinking in Keith's curious expression. It wasn't quite concern, but he wasn't smiling either  
"Are you alright?"  
"Yeah. Red... she was pretty upset over how hurt I was, but she's um... she's happy we finally got together"  
"Finally?"  
"It feels like she's been hoping for it for a while, and she's happy you know what I went through, and how scared I am over all of this"  
"We're both scared. This is all new to me, but I like being with you..."  
"And I like being with you. She's happy you're happy"  
"She's a good girl"  
"Yep. I was kind of anxious over seeing her again, but we both really needed this. Thank you for bringing me here to see her. I don't know if I would have been brave enough to come see her alone"  
"You're not alone. You've got me. And the team. We're all here with you"  
Lance hummed, leaning in to kiss Keith softly  
"Thank you"  
"You're welcome. Are you ready to go?"  
"Yeah. I'm hungry... and I want to try walking some more"  
"You'll do more harm than good if you push yourself too hard too soon"  
"It's not like I'm running a marathon. I just want to hurry up and get back to piloting Red, and I want to be the kind of boyfriend you can rely on and be proud of"  
"You already are"  
Lance let out a weird kind of almost purr, causing Keith to raise an eyebrow  
"That's new"  
"I know. I don't even know how I did it... but, I'm really happy"  
"So you purr when you're happy. I'm going to have to remember that. I wonder if you meow?"  
"Are you making fun of me?"  
"A little. You purred... now I want to know what you do when you're really happy"  
"I'm going to hit you if you keep being mean"  
"I might like it"  
Rolling his eyes, Lance let Keith lift him back off of Red's paw, standing him on his own two feet. It was almost the exact same moment that his feet touched the ground, that Keith's communicator chimed. Nodding at Keith to go ahead and answer, Lance watched Keith's every facial movement as he talked with Shiro, the call ending with a small sigh and a half smile  
"Shiro says we need to head back. Leah is waiting for you"  
Of course she was. He couldn't just take his time and enjoy this moment with his boyfriend  
"Don't give me that look. I'll be with you"  
"I know, but I don't want to go back to hospital"  
"You don't know she'll send you back"  
"And you don't know she won't"

 

*  
Lance was shaking as they walked into the dining room of the building they were using. His scent filled with worry, that had only soured further as Leah came into view. Holding a mug of something steaming, she beamed at the pair of them... though Keith had the feeling she was only smiling for Lance's sake. As the left the corridor, the rest of the team came into view, Hunk immediately scrunching his nose up  
"Whoa! Did you two try cooking without me? Because someone smells like burnt caramel"  
"I think it's coming from Lance"  
"Ok guys, that's enough. Lance, Leah came to check in with you"  
"It's fine. Hey Leah, I hope the team hasn't been giving you a hard time"  
"Not at all. Though I can see you've been ignoring my wishes"  
"In my defence, it was either I walk around, or I have Keith carry me everywhere"  
Pidge hooted with laughter, while Lance shuffled to sit next to Leah, Keith taking the seat beside him  
"What are you laughing at?"  
"Keith was like, by your side the whole time you were in hospital. I bet if you asked him to, he'd carry you"  
Poking her tongue out, Keith scowled at her for dobbing him in. In the first few quintants after Lance had woken, he'd been confused, scared and in pain. Keith has just wanted to make sure he wasn't alone. Now she was making it sound like something else. They'd talked a little, but Lance was too high to remember any of that  
"You stayed? The whole time?"  
"Nearly the whole time. We're a team. We stick together"  
Lance gave him such a sweet smile that Keith's heart ached to kiss him, but they weren't telling the team yet. Forcing his feelings down, Keith nodded to Leah   
"Is Lance walking, bad?"  
"No, not bad. But he does need to work up to it and he need to do his stretches regularly. As well as have regular weigh ins. I would like him to put on at least 5 of your Earth kilograms over the next three movements"  
"Oh, we can totally do that. You don't know this, but Hunk is an amazing cook"  
Leah looked to Hunk   
"You're a cook?"  
"I prefer food enthusiast, but yes"  
"Excellent. I would like to talk with you more over Lance's dietary requirements"  
Clearing his throat, Shiro prevented anyone else jumping in  
"What can we do to help him?"  
"Lance knows by now what he needs and what he needs to do. Massages and heat packs will help with the muscle tenseness, though you all have to be prepared for the fact that for Lance it will take some time to return to peak condition. Lance, it's important that you try not to fall into the habit of limping, like I saw you doing as you came down the hall and make sure you keep up with your stretches, Keith, I expect you to make sure he does"  
Holy quiznak, Leah was much more of a force than he'd believed. He'd thought Lance was joking, but her tone was deadly serious, leaving them all mutely nodding   
"Now. I was going to request you return to the hospital, but you seem much happier here. If possible, I would like to see you in two quintants, to make sure you're progressing the way I expect. If you're not, then I'm afraid I will be recommending you be readmitted"  
"But I can stay for now?"  
"Yes. If you start feeling nauseous or lightheaded, please have one of your team mates bring you down to the hospital"  
"Why would he be nauseous?"  
Pidge asked the question they were all thinking  
"Lance has been on multiple medications, which he has now stopped. Though unlikely, he may begin going through withdrawal. It's just a precaution"  
Withdrawal. Great. Couldn't his omega have some good news for a change?! He deserved to be happy, not to have something else to worry about...  
"You're all looking at me like I've given you the worst news you've ever heard"  
Lance gave a small laugh   
"It's fine. I told them you were a forced to be reckoned with, but I don't think they believed me"  
"Lance, I'm hurt! I thought we were friends"  
"Oh, we are. Just as long as you don't come at me with that red ball again"  
Leah giggled  
"You know you love it"  
"Maybe... thanks for coming down. If you'd called, we could have come to you"  
"It's fine. It was nice to put faces to names, and to see things are looking up for you"  
With a knowing smile Leah rose from her chair, while Lance blushed. So Lance had talked to Leah about him? Keith could only hope Lance hadn't been too blunt about everything... otherwise talking with her could get awkward... but he was certain Leah knew enough to know that he and Lance were now dating  
"Yeah. They are. Thanks for coming"  
"I'll see you soon"

Leaving them, Keith looked to Lance in order to ignore the rest of the team. Lance probably hadn't wanted to expose everything in front of the team, but he'd held his head high and hadn't shied away... yet, he still had to make sure. He had to hear those words out loud to settle his other side back down  
"Are you ok?"  
"Mhmm. I was expecting that to be worse than it was"  
"She seems nice..."  
Lance smiled at Allura, though his hand slipped from his lap and grabbed Keith's thigh, squeezing firmly in an attempt for some kind of comfort   
"Allura, you think everyone seems nice. Don't let her looks deceive you, she can be as bad a Shiro and Keith when it comes to all these stretches and drills"  
"Yes but... it's nice to know you had such caring people looking after you"  
Lance snorted and nodded  
"She's better than my doctor. He didn't appreciate Earth humour at all"  
Pidge rolled her eyes with an exaggerated sigh  
"Are you sure it wasn't just your bad jokes?"  
"My jokes aren't bad. You just have no taste"  
"Riiiiight. So, what do we do now? We're going to have hang around for another phoeb or so..."  
Lance's smile dropped instantly, his scent returning to burnt caramel  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get hurt. If I could have stopped Red from crashing, I would have"  
"No... no, I'm sorry Lance. I didn't mean it like that. I just... I can't believe you managed to be hurt so badly and survive... I didn't mean to make you feel bad"  
"Pidge, maybe you should try phasing that another way"  
Pidge nodded, unusually meek, or more like shy?  
"I'm really happy you're getting better. I didn't really realise how bad it was"  
"Pidge, it's ok. I guess we're all pretty disappointed about having to hang around, but it's not like we can't do things. I mean. There has to be things out here the new castle will need that we can't get at home?"  
"Yep. There sure is. Coran and I have made a list, and we were going to tackle most of it on the trip home, but while we're safe, we should probably make the most of it"  
"See. And don't forget to make good use of Keith. He's got to be sick of baby sitting me all the time"  
"You should have seen him during the few times he actually came back up here. He was glaring at everything like he wanted to stab it"  
"He probably did"  
He didn't want to stab everything... just everything that got in his way when it came between him and Lance... Keith blinked at his own realisation. So much for keeping his crush under wraps. His emotions had realised he had feelings for Lance before the rest of him could. Rubbing the back of Lance's hand, he tried not to sound too sulky as he looked to his boyfriend   
"Hey, who's side are you on?"  
"Yours. Mine. Everyone's. Whoever feeds me first? Honestly, I'm soooo hungry right now"  
"I've got you bud! What do you feel like eating?"  
"Food"  
Hunk groaned, pushing his seat back   
"Don't say I didn't offer"  
"I won't. Thanks man"

Now there was just Lance, Pidge, Allura and Shiro left sitting at the table. Keith felt like the three of them were staring right at him, like they wanted to ask something, but didn't know how. Lance however I didn't seem to notice  
"Soooo. Where are the others? And Allura, I thought you were supposed to be shopping with Romelle?"  
"Romelle is trying on some of the clothes we bought today. Coran, I'm not too sure and Shiro, do you know where Krolia is?"  
"No, I haven't seen her..."  
"Mum can take care of herself. Coran though..."  
Allura giggled, hiding her mouth with her hand as she nodded   
"He does have his moments"  
"Especially after Nunvill. Should we send someone to find him?"  
"I'll go. We can talk about that list"  
"Alright, Pidge. Let us know if you find him?"  
"Will do. Lance, try not to get into anymore trouble"  
"I'm not planning to. I'm planning food and shower, and then a whole lot of sleep"  
"All you've been doing is sleeping"  
"And have I gotten into trouble because of it? I think not"  
Pidge rolled her eyes again, muttering under her breath as she left. Interlacing their fingers together, Keith kind of now wanted to leave too. With Lance, of course. Allura was still watching them, and Shiro, Shiro was smirking to the point it was getting creepy  
"Lance, can I ask you something?"  
So she was hanging around to talk to Lance?  
"Sure, Allura. What's up?"  
"I was wondering how you feeling. Both Shiro and Keith know you died, but we never talked about how that left you feeling. Shiro also initially had a negative reaction, so I've been wondering if you've been suffering any of the same symptoms"  
"Ok... wasn't expecting that. Allura, in grateful you brought me back. As for symptoms, I haven't really had any. But how are you? It took a lot out of you"  
"I'm fine, and I'm happy you're finally back here with us. It hasn't been the same without you"  
"Thanks, Allura. You have no idea how good it is not to be in hospital. Sleeping in a real bed is amazing"  
"The hospital's have beds"  
Lance huffed, snatching his hand back to gesture   
"There's beds and then there's beds. The hospital ones are like sleeping on bricks, while these ones are like a mountain of fluffy pillows... they're warm and comfy, and don't smell like weird herbs and stuff"  
No, they smelt like Keith, given Lance had been sleeping in his bed... and Keith wasn't in a hurry to change that. Sleeping with Lance felt natural. It felt right. But he didn't know how Lance really felt about it. His boyfriend might not even like it, even though he thought he did. Keith's smile wavered slightly as he looked away from Lance   
"Yes, I can see how that may be a problem. If there's anything you need, please let me know"  
"Thanks Allura, but I'm alright. Just starving"  
"Hunk shouldn't be too long. I don't think I've ever seen him bake as much as he has in the last two phoebs"  
"Honestly, Hunk could serve me up his boot and I'd eat it. Ok, maybe not. I've seen his socks... but you get the idea. I have no idea how I managed to survive on that planet"  
"You were eating bark..."  
"I was what?"  
"That's what you were throwing up. Bark and bits of what I'm guessing were leaves..."  
"No one should be able to live in barks and leaves for a month. That's just weird"  
Keith hadn't really thought about it, he was just grateful Lance was alive and wanted to keep it that way... but now he was thinking about, it was kind of weird  
"I don't know. Maybe it was something left over from what Allura did? This would be so much easier if I could actually remember what happened"  
"Lance, given the condition you were in, perhaps it's best you don't"  
"Yeah, but it was like a whole phoeb of my life. I don't know"  
"Lance, trust me. You don't want to remember. Let's just focus on the fact you're back and you're safe, and your food is coming"  
"I feel bad for giving Yorak cookies now..."  
"You gave Yorak cookies? I wasn't aware you could feed cookies to wolves"  
Keith shook his head  
"No, you don't usually"  
"But Keith, how can you say no when he gives you that look and whines like he's going to fade away if you don't share?"  
"No wonder he likes you better"  
"He just has good taste... speaking of him, where did go?"  
"He left while you were talking to Red, he's probably off napping in the sun again"  
"Mmm... he'll have to take me with him next time he goes, he knows how to find the good spots"  
"What are you talking about?"  
"Yorak showed me a really good spot to nap today. We should make naps in the sun mandatory. Pidge doesn't get anywhere near enough sun"  
"That does sound nice"  
"It was... though Keith doesn't understand how nice it is"  
"I didn't say I don't understand"  
"But you didn't nap. If you understood, you would have napped!"  
Allura's smile slowly turned to a look of confusion  
"Why was Keith with you? And why was he watching you sleep?"  
Shiro coughed, probably choking on his laughter... which he totally deserved   
"I can't really walk all that and I've been inside for days. He probably stayed to make sure I didn't take Yorak away"  
"Oh, I guess that makes sense. I might go check on Pidge, we don't need her going missing too"  
"As long as you don't get lost too"  
"I would never. I'll see you all later"

And now there was 3. Keith couldn't tell if Allura had had a lightbulb moment or not, but had the feeling their relationship wasn't going to stay hidden for long, which Lance wouldn't be happy over. No longer having to hide, Lance leant his head against Keith's shoulder as he yawned  
"Hunk better hurry, I'm about to fall asleep, even though you're not happy"  
"What do you mean he's not happy?"  
"It's part of this whole bond thing. I can smell his emotions. Right now, he's not happy"  
"It's not that I'm not happy, I just think that maybe Allura and Pidge have some idea that we're together now"  
The effect instant, Lance shooting back from him  
"What? You think they do? But... do they? I..."  
Lance went to stand, but his legs didn't hold him. His boyfriend falling backwards over the chair with a painful thud. He didn't think it would be this bad. Not when Lance was so happy to kiss him, and even happier to tell Red they were dating. His alpha was just as hurt as he was, even if he'd told Lance it as ok and that he understood. Climbing off his own chair, keith went to help Lance up, but Lance was now sobbing, and begging something in Spanish again  
"Keith, help him up"  
"What do you think I'm doing?!"  
Snapping at Shiro, Lance flinched at his voice. Hefting Lance up, his boyfriend let out a half scream, struggling against him  
"Hey, hey. Come on. You're ok"  
Lance wasn't listening, so Keith sank back into the chair he'd vacated, holding Lance against his chest as he rocked him  
"Shhhh... shhhh. It's ok. Shiro, what do I do?"  
He hadn't even noticed Shiro moving to his side  
"Lance, its Shiro. You need to calm back down for us. Deep breaths. In through the nose and out through the mouth"  
"I... I'm sorry..."  
So Lance could focus when Shiro talked to him? But not when Keith did. That stung. That stung a lot... he didn't know why Lance would react so violently... the team was their family. They'd never mock him for this  
"You're ok. It's just us. Keith, your scents changed... you can't get angry at him for something like this"  
"I'm not angry..."  
That was a lie, but not at the same time. He understood Lance's fear... kind of   
"I'm just confused. No one on the team would laugh at him over this"  
"No, but if you think about it. That guy he liked, he probably laughed and talked about him to his friends. Everyone here is his friend and yours. He can't control these sorts of things and being in a male-male relationship, it's going to leave his emotions bare"  
"But he was happy. He was kissing me and told Red about us"  
"Because Red knows his past. She knows how he feels. Red was probably his best friend while you were gone. Now he's trying to open up and let the others in, but he's still hurting from them shunning him. Anxiety doesn't listen to "rational thoughts", he can't control this"  
"How do I help?"  
"By doing just this. Telling him he's ok. Being here with him and holding him"  
"I just don't understand"  
"He probably doesn't either. He is happy with you, even as friend he's happy being with you. But he's felt this way for years. It won't be fixed over night"  
"It was just so sudden"  
"Attacks can be. He also fell over backwards, so you need to make sure he hasn't hurt himself"  
Lance hiccuped a sob  
"I'm sorry... I'm not hurt... just can't breathe"  
"Breathe with me. Keith, you do this too"

Having coached them both through breathing, Lance slowly calmed back down, though Keith could feel the fine shivers running through his boyfriend  
"I'm so sorry..."  
"No, it's ok. I didn't think it would upset you this badly"  
Lance shook his head as he wrung his hands  
"I know they won't. But... what if they laugh? What if they make fun of you? For being with someone like me"  
"We've talked about this, I'm not above using my power as Voltron's leader for evil"  
"Oh man, please don't do that"  
Lance jumped when Hunk's voice reached their ears. Keith letting an a small warning growl slip from his lips   
"Is everything alright?"  
Frowning down at them, Hunk placed down a plate which seemed to have some kind of flat bread wrap on it   
"Yeah bud. I just stupidly fell off my chair and it hurt my back. This is looks great"  
"I've packed it with all kinds of good things"  
"You're not supposed to tell me this is health food"  
"It's the best kind of health food. Health food that doesn't taste like health food"  
"Hunk. No. You know how this works. You lie to me, and I let you because we're buds"  
"Buds who have to report to Leah about your eating habits. I made more, but everyone's gone"  
"Pidge went to look for Coran, then Allura went to look for Pidge. Keith got stuck babysitting again, and Shiro's being all space-dad"  
"I don't mind staying, if you want to go, Keith?"  
"No, it's ok. This way I can keep him out of trouble"  
"I can sit on a chair on my own"  
"Says the guy who just fell off the chair"  
"It's not like I did it on purpose"  
"Still, it happened"  
"Do you guys ever not fight?"  
"We aren't fighting. Keith is just wrong. I can sit on a chair and I can feed myself"  
"And yet, you managed to fall..."  
"Right... I'm going to go find the others and let them know foods ready. Do you two want your wraps now, or later?"  
Keith's stomach rumbled, the wrap Lance was picking at looked amazing  
"Now would be good. Thanks, Hunk"  
"I've got you man. Shiro, I'll bring yours in too"  
Shiro sank into the chair Leah had used, while Lance climbed from his lap and back onto his own chair, sliding his plate over to him. Keith was forced to bite down his sigh. He didn't want Lance to leave his lap. His boyfriend wasn't ok, and also wouldn't even look at him. The awkwardness hanging in the air for the news few doboshes, until Hunk came back with three plates of food  
"I went ahead and just called Pidge instead. Coran and Krolia were helping Ryner with repairs, and she and Allura ended up roped into it. They're going to be there a while, so I'll be heading down once we're done eating"  
"You should take Shiro and Keith with you. They've got the muscles for it"  
"It's most engineering work, but the more the merrier and they're certainly not going to say no to help"  
"I'll stay with Lance, in case he needs something and can't walk"  
"I'm fine. I'm going to sleep after this, so you should help. It's a great chance to show the Coalition we're happy to help on the ground as well as fighting the Galra ships"  
"They already know that. Stop being so stubborn"  
"I'm not being stubborn"  
"No I'm not"  
"Then you should just accept the help"  
"Maybe I would if it wasn't purely because you don't want to go to work"  
"Hey, I've been working"  
"You're Voltron's leader. You need to lead"  
"And you're a member of the team, which needs help at the moment"  
"I don't need help to sleep"  
"Guys, you're fighting again"  
"If Keith would listen to what I'm saying, we wouldn't be fighting"  
"You're upset and you're tired"  
"I'm fine"  
"You're not fine. You just had a fall"  
"I didn't even hurt myself"  
Why couldn't Lance just let him take care of him? He knew Lance didn't really want to be alone and he knew Lance hadn't been sleeping well without medication, the past two quintants not withstanding. He just wanted to make sure his boyfriend was safe, and that he was resting like he should be. He didn't understand why Lance had to be so stubborn about this? Unless he was mad over how Keith handled his small panic attack  
"Lance, Keith just wants to help. Maybe you should let him?"  
"Thank you, Hunk. At least someone gets it"  
"Yeah, well. Maybe I just want some time to myself? Or is that not allowed around here"  
"Bud, we're happy you're back. But if you push yourself too hard, you could be hurt"  
"I'm not pushing myself! I just want to eat and sleep. That's it. Why can't anyone trust me to know what's best for me?"  
Lance sniffled as he wiped at his face  
"I'll stay with Lance. That way Keith can help with the repairs. Is that ok?"  
"You don't have to stay. I really just need some time to think and sleep. That's all. I'm not going to try showering without knowing someone's around, so why can't you trust me to sleep"  
"It's not about trust. You're hurting. I can smell it"  
"I'm hurting because I'm upset and you're not listening"  
He wasn't listening because Lance wasn't being completely honest...  
"I think I might take this back to my room. I'm sorry Hunk, I didn't mean to drag you into this"  
"What? No bud, you didn't drag me into anything. Do you want some help?"  
"I can balance using the walls... thanks for this"  
Lance gathered his plate, rising from his chair with a small wince before hobbling towards the hallway that would take him to his room. Left with Hunk and Shiro, Keith was silently seething. He wanted to be there for Lance, so why did it have to turn into a fight? Once again, he found himself not understanding.

Hunk waited until Lance had disappeared from sight before fixing Keith in his gaze  
"He'll be ok"  
"How do you know that?"  
"Because when we were at the Garrison, he'd get like that sometimes. He'd go off for a few hours and come back feeling better"  
"But he's hurt"  
"And he's probably tired of people focusing on that... if you haven't noticed, he's pretty stubborn. Especially when he's feeling sick or hurting. He usually doesn't like having anyone around him"  
"I've been around him for phoebs. I don't get why he's acting like this now"  
"He probably doesn't want you to feel like you have to look after him. He's great at doing things for others, but not great at accepting help. Just let him cool off"  
It didn't sit right with his other side. None of this sat right. Lance had freaked out, but had calmed for Shiro, and even managed to act "normal" for Hunk, so why wouldn't he let him in? Was he already regretting getting into a relationship with him? Maybe he had rushed it... but Lance had smiled and laughed. He'd kissed him and hugged him and told him he liked him. So why wasn't he down in Lance's room, making sure he was alright. Picking at his wrap, a fierce scowl remained on Keith's face as his thoughts got the better of him.

 

*  
Finishing what he could of the wrap Hunk had made him, the plate now sat on the floor beside his bed. He'd wanted to go to Keith's room, but Keith was mad at him, so he didn't want to push his luck. It wasn't like he'd meant to freak out. He couldn't even stop himself from spiralling, but the memories had come rushing back, the faces of his attackers changing into those of the team. He hadn't expected to react like that. He knew deep down the only one who'd laugh would be Pidge. But she wouldn't hurt him. She wouldn't poor gasoline on him. He knew this. But the idea of the others knowing left him shaking with fear, and because of that, he'd hurt Keith. He'd pushed him away, although that was more because he thought Keith could use a little bit of space to breath. He wanted his boyfriend not to feel shackled or chained down, just because he needed help with the stupidest of things. It was important to him that Keith had his own life. That he continued to fulfil his role as Black Paladin, especially when it was their fault that Olkarion had been attacked in the first place. Feeling sick to the bottom of his stomach, Lance curled up under the covers of his dusty bed, desperately hoping his exhaustion would finally give way to sleep, so he didn't have to think about this any longer.

It didn't work. Instead of sleeping, he napped off and on, leaving him feeling worse for even trying. Without his communicator or a clock, he had no idea how long he'd been trying to sleep. Keith was probably back by now, and had probably noticed he wasn't in his bed. Maybe he was happy he wasn't? He hadn't really asked if it was really alright for him to be sleeping next to him. Keith had told him to sleep... no. He needed to stop this. If Keith was back, he would have come and seen him. Therefore, Keith had to still be busy, and there was no reason for him getting so upset. He had no idea what he was going to tell him. "I'm sorry the idea of our friends knowing we're dating makes me want to jump off a cliff because I can't magically get over the feeling that dating boys is wrong since I was bashed over it, and I know it was years ago, but my messed up brain likes to make relive it and make me feel like it's yesterday, and I may really like you and have jerked off thinking about you, but we can't tell our friends, because I'm scared their going to laugh, so we can date as long as no one knows" seemed too long and it wasn't fair on Keith... Quiznak. That's almost exactly what he'd said... fuck... no wonder Keith didn't want to see him. It made it sound like he was ashamed of Keith, which he really wasn't. Keith was everything he wasn't. He'd always known that. He could have his pick of absolutely everyone, yet he'd accepted him and he couldn't even accept the fact their friends might have figured the truth out. Maybe this whole relationship was a bad idea? It wasn't like he wanted to hide their relationship forever. He just wanted time to adjust. But how much time? A movement? A phoeb? A deca-phoeb? None of that was fair... he was a horrible and selfish boyfriend.

Having worked himself up, Lance found himself unable to calm back down. His body felt too hot, and the world wouldn't stop spinning, even though it was a tear blurred mess. Even trying Shiro's breathing techniques weren't working. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe and he was all alone. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't calm down. All he could think about was how horrible he'd been to Keith. In blind panic he scrambled off his bed, heading for Shiro's room down the hall, only dimly aware he was practically bouncing from wall to wall as he did. He'd hurt his alpha. That thought played on loop, his other side growing more and more distressed over not having pleased their alpha. Gasping as he fell against Shiro's door, Lance fought to open it, his sweaty palms and shaking hands making it impossible to get a grip on the door handle, but the noise he was making finally drew Shiro's attention, the door opening and his friend catching him as wheezed  
"Quiznak, Lance. Here, come inside"

Sitting on the edge of Shiro's bed, Lance was once again being taught how to breathe by Shiro. His chest was heaving, his lungs fighting to expand with each painful breath. Half of him felt like heaving, while the other half wanted to pass out already and be put out of his misery. Neither happened, instead he slumped forward, Shiro rubbing his back as Lance's hands weakly gripped his arm. His other side was still refusing to calm down, and though he could feel Shiro's lips moving against his hair, he couldn't hear anything the man was saying over the sound of his own rushing heartbeat. He'd hurt Keith. He'd hurt him. Keith had been so good to him and this was how repaid him? By falling apart over nothing? He was so stupid. He was stupid and weak. And more importantly, he was a bad omega who'd disrespected his alpha. Releasing one more shudder, his eyes finally rolled back as his stomach rolled and he threw up down Shiro's front.

 

*  
Keith had gone and helped like Lance had wanted, but he couldn't deny he wasn't still mad about it. Even after seeing their hard work paying off as the last of exterior patches were applied to the hospital. It was like his mind was stuck in a useless loop, constantly replaying the way Lance had reacted to his words, and feelings his other sides anger. He wanted to be there for Lance, which meant Lance had no right to push him away. They were dating, which meant they'd get through everything together. So what if Lance needed time to adjust. They hadn't even been dating for 12 vargas, and just because they liked each other, it was unrealistic to even entertain the idea that 12 vargas of dating would fix deca-phoebs of trauma... he just needed his other side to calm down long enough for that thought to permeate. He was sure once that happened, he'd be able to actually sit down and have a proper conversation with Lance, and that he'd be able to reassure him that he was indeed ok with waiting to tell the others. Hell. He'd be ok with not ever telling them. He liked having Lance all to himself. And because this relationship was new and both so special to the both of them, he wanted to take time to get to know Lance more intimately before announcing it to the rest of the team. With these thoughts in mind, Keith had decided to wait until his other side had calmed, so Lance wouldn't get the wrong idea. Only, he'd now been back at their base for the last 2 vargas, and the little voice belonging to his other side still hadn't calmed, and each time he closed his eyes, all he could think about was the way Lance had tried to run.

When Keith's communicator chimed, he half considered leaving it. He was in no mood deal with anything, or anyone. Not when his gut was filled with these festering thorns, but still, he forced himself up and over to his desk, answering the call   
"Keith, my room. Now"  
That's all Shiro said before the call ended. His heart and mind leapt straight to Lance. His worry flaring back to life from the smoulders, though if he was honest, the fire inside him hadn't settled in the slightest since Lance had left his side. Not bothering to put his shoes on, Keith ran from his room, straight to Shiro's own just metres down the hall. With the door already open, he could see Lance slumped forward against Shiro, the smell of burnt caramel so strong that he nearly gagged. Rushing to his boyfriend, Keith pulled him from Shiro's hold, only to find Lance unconscious with vomit dribbling down his chin  
"What the hell happened?!"  
Tilting Lance's head forward, he used two fingers to check Lance's mouth was clear of vomit before looking over him to where Shiro was. Despite the vomit across shirt and pants, Shiro's eyes were on Lance   
"He had another panic attack. He couldn't breath when he got to my door, and worked himself up so much that he threw up just before he fainted"  
"This is exactly why I didn't want to leave him..."  
"Keith, you couldn't have known this was going to happen"  
"Really, because I guess him having one and then me leaving him for vargas had nothing to do with it!"  
His voice was venomous, his anger getting the better of him  
"He needed to think"  
"I should have been there"  
"Keith, no. You can't do that to yourself. I called you because he needs someone to take care of him while I shower"  
"I'm taking him back to my room"  
"I'm not trying to stop you, but he was trying to speak. I don't think he even knew, but he was begging you to forgive him"  
Keith's eyes narrowed  
"He was what?"  
"He was begging for you to forgive him. If you fought..."  
"We didn't fight. I haven't seen him since we ate. I was staying away so we wouldn't. I didn't want him to feel pressured, but if this is how it's going to turn out, then I'm not going to let him go"  
"Keith"  
"No. I'm taking him back to my room"  
Shiro sighed, but didn't stop him from carrying Lance out of his room, and back to his own. 

Sitting with Lance in his lap, he was only out for a few more doboshes before his eyes fluttered open with a small whine. Blinking through the remaining tears, Lance must have finally realised it was him, tensing in Keith's hold. Gently nuzzling Lance's hair, Keith kissed the spot   
"Welcome back"  
"I... what happened?"  
"You freaked out and fainted"  
"I... oh... I'm sorry"  
"You don't need to be sorry, but Lance, I do need to know what happened? You said you were going to sleep, so the last thing I expected was for you to faint"  
"I... I'm a bad boyfriend, aren't I?"  
"What? How did you come to that conclusion?"  
"Be-because I'm scared of telling the others... I'm a bad omega"  
Lance had worked himself up that badly because he was scared of telling the others?  
"You're not a bad omega"  
"I am! It's not fair on you! You shouldn't have to act differently or cover for me or have to stop doing what you like just because we're dating! I don't want you to make your top priority! I don't want to drag you down. I want you to do your own thing. I want you to lead Voltron and have a life! Instead of being stuck with me..."  
Keith sighed, readjusting his hold on Lance as he did  
"You think you hurt me?"  
"I know I did. I didn't mean to freak out! I'm not ashamed of you! I still wanted to hide that we're dating... like I was..."  
"Lance. No. Calm down for me. This is new for both of us. We talked about this before"  
"I just want to be a good boyfriend"  
"And I want my boyfriend to be happy. Besides, I kind of like the fact no one knows. I like having you to myself and I like the idea of getting to know you even better, alone. I'm not mad. I might have been a little hurt, but that's my other side. Not me. Just because we're both in here, doesn't change things. Just like being an omega doesn't change you. I know you're not ashamed of me. I know you've got my back and that you're thinking about my happiness and about the whole teams happiness. That's one of the things I like most about you. So I'm not mad about not telling"  
"My omega... keeps telling me I'm bad. That I hurt you and made you mad. I just wanted you to do your job because you've been with me nonstop and all I was going to do was sleep..."  
"Your omega is wrong. You're not bad. You're the most caring person I know. I know you wouldn't hurt me"  
"I'm sorry"  
"You don't need to be"  
"I... I wish I was confident enough to tell everyone"  
"We will. When the time is right, but I'm honestly in no rush"  
Lance sniffled, hiding his face against Keith's chest. His scent shifting from burnt caramel to maybe slightly singed caramel? whatever it was, it was telling him Lance was exhausted and needed both reassurance and sleep   
"Why don't we lay down?"  
"I don't want to be in the way"  
"You're not in the way. If I didn't want you here, I wouldn't offer"  
"You don't mind sleeping with me?"  
"Of course I don't mind. I'd be happy if you slept here all the time"  
"Maybe not all the time"  
"Lance. I'm serious. You're welcome to sleep next to me any time you want to"  
"Are you sure?"  
"I like sleeping next to you. It makes me feel calm"  
"I like it too. It... it keeps me anchored. Waking up and seeing you. It tells me I'm not dead"  
"You're not dead, and you're not dying any time soon. Here, let's get you settled and we can cuddle properly"  
Lance was like a rag doll as Keith manoeuvred him, finding he really did prefer when Lance was laying half across him with his head on his chest. Stroking his hair softly, his boyfriends sniffles gradually turned into soft snores. These attacks took a lot out of Lance and knowing he'd caused this one wasn't a great feeling. He hated Lance's tears, and the constant smell of caramel was being ruined by the burnt scent his sadness bought. Still, he was lucky that Lance's other scent, the smell of the salt air from the ocean didn't turn to rotting seaweed, because he honestly didn't know if he'd be able to stomach that. As far as he was concerned, he always wanted his boyfriend to smell like caramel and the ocean because there were no two better scents too sum up his boyfriend... though he had no idea what he smelt like to Lance. He'd have to ask him once he woke... once they woke.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the end. Why was this not the end?!

Laying in bed with Keith, Lance still felt drained. His throat was tender and his mouth felt revolting, so he was keeping his face against Keith's chest, that way his boyfriend wouldn't smell how awful his breath was. Despite the pair of them both being awake Keith hadn't spoken, so he hadn't either, instead he was laying there with Keith stroking his hair with one hand, and his other rested on Lance's hip, so he couldn't have slipped away... even if he'd wanted to. Which he didn't. His other side had finally calmed while he'd slept, now it was just a small presence in the back of his mind, almost smug in the knowledge that he was now in Keith's arms. Now he was trying to tell his own thoughts to settle, but it was hard not to focus on Keith's hand against his ugly hip.

Their silent moment was interrupted by a soft knock on the door  
"It's Shiro"  
"Come in!"  
Lance closed his eyes. He was pretty sure he'd gone to Shiro when he started to freak, but couldn't remember it. Letting himself in, Lance heard the door close before the bed dipped slightly  
"How are you feeling? I brought food"  
Why did Shiro have to be so nice? He'd been such a huge help, now that he was back to being Shiro and not hurting him or abusing him, but sometimes, sometime he found himself waiting for him to snap  
"Gross"  
Keith leant up to press a kiss to Lance's hair  
"I wasn't sure if you were actually awake, awake"  
"I'm not"  
"Do you feel up to eating? I told the others your leg was cramping, so Hunk sent extra"  
"I just feel really wiped out"  
"Panic attacks will do that to you. Your scent still smells a bit weird"  
"What do you mean? He smells normal"  
"He smells like soy milk"  
"He doesn't smell like soy milk. How do you even remember what soy milk smells like? You don't even like it"  
"Really? And what does he smell like to you?"  
"Caramel and the ocean. When he's upset his scent takes various shades of burning and burnt caramel..."  
"I'm right here. You don't need to talk about like I'm not"  
"We know you are. So Lance, what does Keith smell like to you?"  
"Earthy. He smells like... trees and dirt, like in a forest and the oil he uses on his knives"  
"When Keith gets mad, he smells rotting meat to all of us"  
"Shiro, that's gross"  
"It's strange how your scents cause different reactions. Hunk can smell the caramel of Lance's scent... I wonder if it's because of his different... reaction"  
"We've been calling them our other sides"  
"That makes sense. Krolia said she'd come see you after she's taken a shower, you should ask her about it"  
"Maybe. Here, let's get you up so you can eat something"  
"Can I take a shower after this?"  
"If you're up to it"  
"Yep. Shower after this, and please tell me I don't have to eat alone. It's weird and uncomfortable"  
"Like I said, Hunk sent extra"

 

*  
Lance was acting off. He'd barely eaten anything, and his scent was all over the place. They'd talked a little after his panic attack, before falling asleep, though they hadn't really slept for that long and Lance was awake before he was. He didn't know what to say. And once his mother had come to visit, Lance had excused himself to shower, leaving the pair of them sitting there, staring at the door Lance had disappeared through. With his brow scrunched, Keith's hands were balled into fists  
"Did something happen?"  
"Lance freaked, threw up, passed out and now he'd acting weird"  
His mother laughed. She actually laughed   
"I was more meaning, the fact you two are now dating"  
"How did you know about that?"  
His mother rolled her eyes, wrapping her arm around his shoulder  
"He smells of you, and I might have seen you two kissing"  
"Don't tell him you know. He's got a pretty rough past and wants to keep this between us"  
"And you're ok with that?"  
"Yeah. This is new to both of us, and I don't want him to feel like he can't talk to me or trust me. Besides... it's um... kind of nice not having everyone know"  
"Have you discussed what you're going to do for his heat? It's approaching soon"  
"He wants to spend his heat alone"  
"I don't think that is wise. Heats can be incredibly painful, especially when he's already bonded with you on some level,"  
"Painful?"  
"He's not going to be able to care for himself, and the intense desire to breed will be all he can think about"  
"He... he's not going to like that"  
"It's better than him potentially harming himself"  
"I... I don't think he'd ready for anything more than kissing right now and I already told him he could be alone if he wanted. Besides, we're at war. We can't risk a pregnancy"  
"I did tell him about this. He must have forgotten, as he did look pretty freaked about it all"  
"It's not every day you're told you can fall pregnant, after being a guy and chronic flirt for years"  
"I really did expect him to be more flirty"  
"Yeah. He's... he's been through a lot more than I thought. He's not usually this meek or timid either, and it has me worried"  
"It may be from the herb. His body wasn't made for its side effects"  
"No. I think this comes from the rift that formed in the team while I was away. His past is making it hard to move on"  
"Do you mind if I asked what happened?"  
"I think it's best I didn't say too much, just that someone he trusted hurt him bad enough to break his jaw, and all for being himself"  
"Sooo... how long does it take to reach Earth from here"  
Keith felt himself smiling, what could be better than your mother liking your boyfriend?!  
"You really do like him, don't you?"  
"He's a sweet kid. You two make a great team"  
"Yeah. We really do. I just wish I could make things better for him"  
"He's already happier for being here, and for making up with his friends. But he seems truly happiest when he is with you"  
"He does?"  
"Yes. He trusts you and he cares about you deeply. All you can do for now is trust in that, there are some things that a person needs to work through on their own, and Lance's past, he's the one who needs to make peace with it. Though, if I was to ever meet those whole hurt him..."  
"You're the third in line. Shiro and I have already called first dibs"  
"I bet I could be in and out before you two even realised it"  
"Probably. Thanks mum. I know all this hasn't quite been what we expected, but it easier having you here"  
"I told you I'd never let you go again, and that extends to Lance, and those you hold dear. You are my world Keith"  
Relaxing into his mother, she played with his, stroking it gently like he'd done with Lance. It'd been her who taught him just how nice it felt, so he'd mimicked her actions in an attempt to make his boyfriend feel better. After several long doboshes, her hands stilled  
"Mum?"  
"Lance just got out the shower"  
"How can you possibly know that?"  
"I heard the water stop..."  
"Sometimes I forget how incredible your hearing is"  
"I try not to listen if I can help it, though I think Lance might need some help"  
"Probably. He's way too stubborn over things like this"  
"Why don't you go check on him?"  
"Should I? I don't want to make him feel like he can't do things for himself"  
"Just wait by the door, he'll be out soon enough"

Leaving his mother, Keith did just that. Feeling like an idiot, he waited until the bathroom door creaked open and a gush of steam rolled out. Hissing as he limped out, Lance yelped at the sight of him, clutching his chest as he shook his head  
"Damn! Don't do that to me man! I nearly had a heart attack!"  
"I didn't mean to scare you, I just thought you might like some help getting back to your room. I would invite you back to mine, but mums waiting for us and I didn't think you'd want to get dressed in front of her"  
"Thanks, but I don't know if that makes up for the near heart attack"  
"This is you. You'd probably take the heart attack over letting your boyfriend's mother see you naked"  
"You've got me there. Have I ever told you how much I love hot water? Like proper showers? Because these showers are amazing"  
"I thought the beds were amazing?"  
"No. The bed is amazing because it's yours"  
Lance's cheeks reddened in a way Keith found adorable  
"I mean. I haven't slept in mine properly so I don't know and..."  
"Nope. You said my bed was amazing, and I have to agree, it's pretty great when you're in it"  
Groaning, Lance took his arm, the pair beginning towards Lance's room  
"It's not nice to tease sick people"  
"Is it teasing if it's the truth?"  
"I swear to god, you're trying to kill me aren't you? You're making my heart do all these stupid jumps and leaps, just to do me in"  
"Maybe. But somehow I don't think I can date you if you're dead"  
"That's it. I'm banning you from talking. My heart can't take it, and having died once, it's not great. I prefer being alive"  
"I like you being alive"  
"And I like you being alive... even if I have no idea what to say to all this niceness"  
"You should just enjoy it while it lasts"  
"Oh, so you're going to go back to being annoying?"  
"You wouldn't have me any other way"  
"Nope. I really wouldn't. I like you for you and how you are... I think I said that right"  
"You made sense"  
"I suppose that's all we can really hope for right now... I'm tired of being tired"  
"Maybe if you slept, you might actually feel better"  
"I tried to sleep. It was the wake up. I couldn't go back to sleep and you weren't talking so I didn't know if I did something wrong"

Lowering Lance onto the edge of the bed, Keith moved to grab him a change of clothes  
"You didn't do anything wrong. I thought you might just need some time to think"  
"I think we've established that my thinking doesn't always work out for the best"  
"Yesterday was just a lot. Today's a new quintant..."  
"It's still the same quintant"  
"Only if we want it to be"  
"Keith, I'm like 99% sure it doesn't work like that"  
"I blame it on space. Now, do you want jeans or your sweats?"  
"Sweats. I think I need a new belt"  
"A new belt?"  
"I kind of lost weight..."  
"So? You'll put it back on"  
"But my jeans are loose... it looks so bad..."  
Keith bit down his comment. He didn't want it sound offhanded and insincere   
"I'm getting your sweats"  
"And socks?"  
"You want socks?"  
"My feet are cold"  
"Anything else I can get you?"  
"I wouldn't say no to chocolate"  
"That's about the only thing we haven't really been able to recreate out here, so you'll have to wait until we get back to Earth for that"  
With a pile of clothes in his hands, Keith turned around to see Lance frowning. From their playful banter, he hadn't expected that  
"What's wrong?"  
"I was just thinking... we are still going home, right?"  
"That's the plan. We can't build a new castle without going home first"  
"And what about us? Will we still be dating when we get home?"  
"I didn't plan to break up with you. I don't plan to break up with you. So why would Earth change anything?"  
"Because... people can be horrible..."  
"That's their problem. Not ours. We both know that it's ok to love each other, and that's all we need. I'm serious about this Lance"  
"So am I. That's why I don't want you..."  
"I don't care what they say. You're my boyfriend, and nothing could be better than that!"  
"Even if I look like this?"  
"What's that supposed to mean?"

Taking a deep breath Lance rose from the bed, letting his robe fall to the floor and displaying his scars for Keith to see. He'd be lying if he said his eyes didn't first focus on another part of Lance's anatomy first, but that wasn't why Lance was showing him himself   
"I look horrible"  
"No you don't"  
"I've lost weight, and I'm all scarred and bony. I can't get it out of my head..."  
"So? You got those scars fighting for the universe. I hate that got you hurt, but I'm proud of you for fighting"  
"I got them when I crashed like a loser"  
"Which was mid-fight, and not your fault. I wish you hadn't been hurt, but those scars don't mean I won't care about any less that you deserve. I've got my own scars, or have you forgotten?"  
"I just don't... I didn't want you to see this, but I... we don't know when my heat will come, or how things will play out. I... If you're going to reject me, I'd rather it be now... and not..."  
"I'm not going to reject you. I think... I think you're beautiful... besides, I wasn't going to tell you, but I've seen your scars. I helped move you from the pod and back into your bed each time"  
"You... already..."  
"Yeah. And I've seen the ones on your back. I knew about them before we agreed to start dating..."  
Sinking back down, Lance pulled the robe up to cover himself   
"They really don't bother you?"  
"No. They don't"  
Lance gave him a small smile, his scent clearing from the burning smell that had started to infect it  
"What did I do to deserve someone like you?"  
"Nothing special. You were just yourself. That's the important thing"  
"You really are kind of amazing. You know that right?"  
"I wouldn't go that far..."  
"Keith, I can't think of a single thing you're not good at"  
"I can't sing and I can't dance..."  
"You what... no way"  
"I've never really... had the need to"  
"Oh. Oh. This is going to be good. I can't wait until we get to my house. We'll have you singing and dancing in no time. My family is like crazy... you're going to love it"  
"If you end up with your toes stepped on, it's completely your own fault"  
"I'll take it. Now, are you going to keep staring at me, or are you going to give me my clothes?"  
"Welllll. The view isn't bad"  
Lance spluttered before hiding his face in his hands and muttering something in Spanish. Taking pity on his boyfriend, Keith finally handed Lance's clothes over to him  
"Do you want help?"  
"No... just stop staring at me like that"  
"Like what?"  
"Like you like what you see"  
"But I do like what see"  
"I'm not talking to Krolia while you're horny"  
Oh... he'd half forgotten about his waiting mother  
"If you give me a kiss, I'll turn around"  
"How about you let me get dressed and then I give you a kiss?"  
Leaning in quickly, Keith stole a brief kiss before turning around   
"That's cheating!"  
"Nope. I gave you a kiss. You still owe me one for turning around"  
"What. No. That's not how it works!"  
"You said it yourself, if I turned around, you'd give me a kiss. You made the rules"  
Lance grumbled, though Keith was sure his boyfriend broke some kind of record on how fast he could get dressed because all too soon, or maybe not soon enough, Lance was wrapping his arms around him and placing a kiss to his neck   
"There. One kiss. Paid and delivered"  
"Oh... is that the best you've got?"  
"Wait until you see my moves"  
Rutting his hips slightly against his arse, Keith was tempted to throw Lance down on the bed and make good on "seeing those moves", but the fact his mother was waiting once again came to mind  
"How about we go talk to mum, and after that, you give me a preview on those moves"  
"Maybe. It depends on how I feel after we talk to her. I know it's going to be about my heat and smell... and your mums like super hot"  
"You're supposed to be my boyfriend"  
"I am. I'm just saying. She's hot, and getting the sex talk from her once was weird and embarrassing enough as it was. I don't know if I can survive another one"  
"You will. I'll make sure you do"  
"Mmm, I better. Or you're sleeping alone"

 

*  
Lance tried to pull his hand away from Keith's as they walked into his room, but Keith wasn't having it. Lance had just showed him something huge for him, and he knew the talk they needed to have would probably send him back peddling. He'd told his mother not to mention the fact they were dating, but that had gone out the window now that he knew Lance's heat could possibly hurt him. Leading him over to the end of the bed against the wall, Keith pulled Lance down into his lap, his boyfriend immediately trying to escape  
"Lance, it's ok. I just wanted to have a little talk to you about your heat. Keith mentioned you wanted to go through it alone?"  
"I... yeah. Is that wrong?"  
"I know we talked, but I have the feeling you've forgotten most of what I've said"  
"In my defence, I was on some good drugs"  
"Lance, given your body isn't Galra, I fear going through your heat alone may potentially kill you. Between your desire for sex, and the physical toll it will take on your body, you're going to need someone to look after you, or you may hurt yourself both physically and mentally. You and Keith are now bonded in a way, though not completely bonded. To be without him will cause you severe pain. You may even hurt yourself intentionally in order to lure Keith to your side"  
"I... what?"  
"I know you wouldn't manipulate Keith, and he knows it too, but your body wasn't made to go through this and none of us really know what to expect. Keith mentioned possible pregnancy as an outcome, and it's safe to use contraceptives, but you will experience severe post heat depression for the following movement or so, until your hormone levels return to normal"  
"So I have... I can't do that to Keith"  
"Lance, you're not doing this to me. I want to be with you"  
"But you didn't ask for any of this"  
"I liked you before this happened. This happening was just the universes way of saying we were taking too long to get together"  
"I... this is a lot. Like a lot... while I'm in heat, Keith goes into a rut. He won't hurt himself, will he?"  
"No. Alpha's have the strength to go through a rut alone. Though, this is extremely outdated information that Kolivan has found. Keith is also half human, which may affect his rut"  
"So you have no idea how either of us are really going to react?"  
"I'm sorry. When your heat hits, it's best you and Keith have prepared somewhere safe, away from everyone else as he will be extremely possessive and territorial. He'll do absolutely anything to protect you while you go through your heat, and won't be able to distinguish between friend or foe"  
"I..."  
Lance covered his face, shaking his head, his scent souring as his breathing grew shaky  
"Mum, I think that's enough for now. Thanks for telling us, but it's a lot to take in"  
"Right. Let me know if you need anything. I'm here for both of you"  
"We will"

His mother left, while Lance was shaking like a leaf in his hold. His boyfriends breathing was shaky, but he seemed to be holding it together for now. Kissing Lance's cheek, he nuzzled into him. Gradually Lance's breathing calmed and he smiled  
"Hey, I know you're thinking again"  
"It's just a lot"  
"Yeah, but we're in this together"  
"We don't know what a rut will do to you"  
"And we don't know what a heat will do to you. We can't change the fact it's going to happen, but we'll get through it together"  
"I'm still sorry"  
"I'm not. A week of sex, with my boyfriend"  
"We haven't even had sex... we've barely even kissed"  
"I'm pretty sure we can figure this out... how hard can it be?"  
"I've already died once or twice? It can't be as bad as that?"  
"I wouldn't have put it that way, but yeah. We're a team"  
"A damn good one"  
It felt kind of weird to fist bump things out, especially while he was still nuzzling into Lance, but his boyfriend didn't agree, holding his fist out patiently until he finally did  
"We've got this"


	13. Chapter 13

Over the next two quintants, Lance hadn't made the progress Leah had expected, so his boyfriend was forced back into hospital. It broke his heart to do it, to ignore the way Lance begged not to go back. He'd worked hard. He really had and Keith had been proud of Lance for doing his stretches, for getting out of bed every morning and eating. Even on the days things weren't great, Lance was still trying. So now Keith was determined to be a great boyfriend and alpha in preparation for Lance's coming heat. They still didn't know when it would happen, but given they were running out of time to be prepared. He wanted it to be perfect for his first time with Lance. They'd kissed a little more, and that had lead to some heavy petting, which had lead to a couple of shaky days for Lance, but he'd bounced back, before sent to hospital.

By now, Keith was certain the team knew about their budding relationship, but even if they did, Shiro would have stepped in and asked them not to say anything until they were ready to announce it. Or at least Keith had assumed so because no one had mentioned the small touches and looks the pair of them would share. All of them had been visiting Lance pretty regularly, making up for the time he had to take care of Voltron things. If he could have taken off world with him, he would have. He missed his company and even missed his bad jokes and singing. Black had never felt so lonely as when he was out there without Lance. Luckily for him, he wasn't out on Black, but unlucky for him, he was on the other side of Olkarion. With the help of their vines, he now had a small make shift camp ready to surprise Lance with. It was safe, well stocked and there was plenty of open space around them so he could see anyone approaching. Plus, with them remaining on Olkarion they were close to help if they needed it. Which Keith really hoped they wouldn't. He wanted to make Lance feel special and loved, which may have been a little cheesy on his behalf. But this relationship was special to both of them, and it wasn't a case of them randomly loosing their virginity to strangers. Having borrowed a bed from their quarters, which may or may not have been Lance's practically abandoned one, it was now covered with layers of blankets so his boyfriend wouldn't get cold. On both side of the bed were bottles of water, dried foods and towels, as well as a first aid kit and bucket in case Lance reacted badly to his heat. Set up outside the shelter was a large bonfire pit, again for the sake of preventing Lance getting cold or sick, and the final finishing touch was camp shower rigged up to the right of the shelter. This way, they were completely self sufficient and his ego was somewhat inflated knowing he'd done this for his boyfriend, and that Lance really would appreciate all the effort it had taken. With the bed remade, Keith still wasn't sure if it was perfect or not, but it wouldn't stay that way for long, not once his boyfriend was here.

 

*  
Finding himself humming, Keith strode through the hospital corridors to Lance's room. He'd stopped off to shower and collect Yorak, the wolf kind of banned from the hospital after helping himself to a tray of food destined for some poor patient, and it was only Keith's status as the Black Paladin that meant Yorak was allowed back inside the doors at all. It sucked, because he would have preferred to leave Yorak at Lance's side for protection, but Lance understood why couldn't... not that it made it any better. Reaching the door to Lance's room, he paused to straighten himself up before letting himself in without knocking, it wouldn't have mattered if he had, Lance was alone, sleeping peacefully. The sight made Keith's heart skip a beat. This was his boyfriend. His alone. Though his other side was angered that their vulnerable omega had been left protected, that melted away thanks to just how cute Lance. With careful and light steps Keith moved to the side of Lance's bed, stealing a small kiss before brushing Lance's hair back from his forehead. Confused blue eyes slowly opened, before a warm smile came across his boyfriends lips  
"Mmm. Good morning"  
"Hey, I didn't mean to wake you"  
"It's ok... come climb up here with me, it's warm"  
He couldn't say no to that. As Lance shimmied to make space, Keith climbed up onto the narrow bed, pulling his boyfriend into his hold and stealing another kiss  
"You seem happy"  
"I'm happy now I'm with you. I'm sorry I left you alone again"  
"It's fine. I had physio earlier and Leah nearly killed me, so I'm really zonked"  
"Do I need too talk to her?"  
"No... you need to stay right here..."  
"I'm all yours"  
"Good"  
Lance's tone was thick with sleep and love, his boyfriend nuzzling his chest as he purred, seemingly not even aware he was doing so, and he had no idea how happy it made Keith to hear that sound. Lance had been back in hospital for the last movement or so, and Keith knew he had to be going stir crazy over it all. Closing his eyes, Keith didn't allow himself to sleep, merely rest as he "watched" over his boyfriend. There was something in Lance's smell telling him that his heat was coming. Not today, but he won't be surprised if it hit tomorrow. He knew he should've nervous and worried, but he also knew he was excited for it. Lance gave his all to everything he did, so Keith was expecting once they passed that initial shyness, sex would be fun and playful, just like Lance was... and he was excited to take their relationship that step further, not that he believed that sex between people was the only way to show their love. He loved the kisses and cuddles, he loved the secret whispers between them in the middle of the night and the way Lance lit up when telling him all about his huge family and how they were going to love him, and he loved the quite times when Lance would simply lay by his side in comfortable silence.

After a varga of so, Lance woke thanks to Keith's communicator chiming. Answering the call from Shiro, Keith wasn't terribly happy. Pidge and Hunk were on a supply and relocation mission with Matt and the rest of the rebels, they run into two separate Galra scouting ships, both of which they'd taken down, but the problem was that the Galra knew they were still in the Olkarion area. This really wasn't ideal. With Lance going into heat, he couldn't be on the front lines with Black, and he didn't want to worry Lance when Lance was trapped back in hospital. Promising to return to their headquarters, he felt Lance begin to wriggle away and cut the call while Shiro was still talking in order to pull Lance back up against him. Kissing his boyfriends forehead, he forced a smile to his lips  
"Stop. You're thinking, but everything is going to be ok"  
"I wish I could be out there"  
"I know you do. But without the pods, and the castle facilities, you have to stay here"  
"I don't want to stay here. I'm getting better. I really am. I've eaten all their bad cooking and I'm walking unaided too and from physio now. I don't know what else this place can do for me"  
"You should have told me you were walking! That's great news"  
"You've been super busy, so I wanted to surprise you"  
"You did and I'm proud of you"  
"Yeah, but that doesn't get me out of here"  
"No, but you'll be getting out soon"  
"What? Why? Do you know something or are you trying to make me feel better?"  
"I think your heats coming on. I can smell something in your scents that's really sweet and alluring"  
"But... we haven't done anything. We aren't prepared! I can't go into heat... I..."  
"Lance, I've taken care of it. That's part of the reason I've been super busy. You're not the only one who can have surprises"  
"You took care of it?"  
"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure you're going to love it"  
"If you're there with me, I know I will"  
Keith's heart swelled with love for Lance, knowing he truly meant it and had no underlying reservations or hesitations. Keith knew he'd never truly been great company all of the time, but his time with Lance was something special. Sometimes it was hard to remember the cocky annoying little shit named Taylor, his boyfriend used to be back in the Garrison  
"You should go check in with Shiro"  
"Yeah. He's going to give me the dad talk over cutting him off..."  
With Lance's heat coming, a new problem came to mind. He didn't want to just take Lance from the hospital and straight out to their camp. It didn't feel right leaving him alone for vargas, and then just reappearing for sex. Lance meant more to him than that, and his boyfriend deserved more, changing the direction of his sentence, Keith continued   
"... Hey, wanna plan a hospital break"  
"Like a prison break?"  
"You're in hospital, not in prison, so it's a hospital break"  
Lance immediately perked up, his eyes wide and his smile huge  
"You're not joking, right?"  
"No. If I'm going to take you out of here tonight, why not make it a few vargas earlier?"  
"Seriously?! We can just go?"  
"I won't tell if you don't"  
"Oh, I am so in! I'll even let you use me to calm the raging Shiro"  
"It is hard to stay mad at you"  
"Right?! I'm totally the most likeable guy I know. Except for Hunk. He's got this almost god like, likeablity about him"  
"I don't get a mention?"  
"No. I don't want other people liking you"  
Keith snorted to cover how stupid happy all this was making him  
"You've got nothing to worry about. In fact, I'm the one who should be worrying about you"  
"Nope. I've changed my ways. I'm a one man kind of man"  
"I know you are... can we escape now?"  
"If you're ready"  
"I'm soooo ready"  
"Then you're really going to love this"

Teleporting with Yorak was something that had happened purely by accident when Keith had grabbed his wolf to hold him back from a strange rabbit like thing that had caught his eye. Yorak hadn't been held back, and Keith had found himself taken along with him. Since then, he'd tried it a couple of times and he was now fairly confident about using this new found ability, and as he'd expected Lance had found it amazing. His boyfriend still sporting a massive smile as they walked down the hall, his hand firmly in Keith's though he no longer needed the support. As proud as he was over the fact Lance was walking, he was already feeling the loss. Their relationship was being "covered" by the fact Lance had needed help too and from places, now they no longer had that cover...

Walking into the dining area, their friends were all laughing about something, almost completely oblivious to their arrive, yet Lance snatched his hand back as if he'd been burnt. Catching sight of them, Hunk leapt from his seat  
"Lance! What are you doing here? Did they finally let you out?"  
"Not quite. We planned a breakout"  
Allura gasped, concern covering her face  
"Is that safe?!"  
"I'm alright. Up and moving. Eating. Doing physio. Honestly, I don't know why they insisted on keeping me there"  
Proving his point, Lance walked over to the table and took a seat by Hunk  
"It's great to see you walking again"  
"It's great to be walking again. I heard you had some fun with the Galra earlier"  
Hunk groaned, dropping down into his seat  
"Not one, but two ships. I miss the castle, it's a long enough flight without the added battles"  
"Don't be like that. I know how much you love Yellow"  
"But dude... the castle... wait, does anyone else smell caramel?"  
Lance blushed lightly as he nodded, while Keith finally moved to sit beside his boyfriend. Leaning in, Hunk sniffed at Lance while Lance pushed him away  
"Dude. Have you been holding out on us?"  
"No. I just smell like caramel. It's um... something we should all probably talk about"  
Keith's heart caught in his throat. They hadn't talked about this... them... and telling the team  
"It's nothing bad, is it? Because after earlier I don't think I could handle any more trouble"  
"It's not really bad. But Keith and I are going away for about a movement or so"  
Pidge echoed Hunk's earlier groan   
"Why do you get to go away? I want to go away. I need a holiday"  
"Pidge, perhaps we should let Lance explain?"  
"I'm just saying, we don't get enough holidays"  
"Well it's kind of a holiday, but not at the same time. Ummm... basically because I ate that funky space herb, I'm going to need Keith to look after me for a movement every three phoebs or so"  
"Why Keith? And can't they take care of you in hospital? Can't we take care of you?"  
Lance ducked his head, his fingers brushing against Keith's thigh as he seemed comfort. Taking Lance's hand, Keith took over   
"Not with this. We've both been affected due to the herb. It's triggered something in my Galra DNA, as well as changed Lance physically. It's safer if we're both away from you all"  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"It means Keith and I are dating, and basically we um... we need to go away"  
Pidge was the first to react, laughing openly. He could see the panic forming on Lance's face as his free hand went to his chest. It had to be hard to admit it to everyone, and though Pidge was probably laughing because she knew, Lance didn't know that   
"Pidge, that's enough"  
"Sorry Shiro. It's just, we all kind of suspected it and now their taking off for a steamy week"  
Lance rose, his hand still holding onto Keith's as his breathing quickened. Pidge's smile now gone as everyone stared at him  
"Bud?"  
"Lance, it's ok"  
"Keith, why don't you take Lance down to your room? We can talk about the Galra sightings later"  
"We're not going to be here later. We're leaving tonight"  
"Is his heat..."  
Shiro cut himself off as he pinched the bridge of his nose. With Krolia not there, he was the only one who understood what them leaving really meant  
"... alright. I'll come with you"  
"Is he ok?"  
"He will be"

Lifting Lance was awkward but manageable as Shiro helped him. Striding from the dining room, Keith was still processing the fact Lance had been the one to openly admit the fact they were dating... he'd kind of thought he'd be the one to tell the others. Following Shiro into his room, Keith carried Lance over to the bed. Sitting him down before kneeling down in front of him. Lance letting out a shaky breath as he nodded to him  
"I know"  
"You know what?"  
"That I'm over reacting"  
"You're not over reacting. That was really brave"  
"Or stupid"  
"Lance, that wasn't stupid. Keith is right, that was brave of you"  
"I don't feel very brave. When Pidge started to laugh, it all came back"  
"This is Pidge, as smart as she is, sometimes she just doesn't think"  
"I didn't embarrass you, did I?"  
"No. I'm proud to be your boyfriend"  
Releasing his hand, Lance threw his arms around him, nuzzling into his neck   
"I didn't want to go into my heat without them knowing it wasn't because of our other sides"  
"And you know that I would still want this. To be with you, even without our other sides"  
"I know... thank you"  
Lance pulled back, his boyfriend looking up to Shiro   
"If you two need to talk about the Galra thing, you can go ahead. I want to take a shower, and get ready"  
"Will you be ok?"  
"Yeah. I just need to calm back down, and a hot shower will help"  
"Alright. If you need anything..."  
"I'm pretty sure I know where to find you"  
Lance climbed from the bed, dropping a kiss on top of Keith's head as he did, before patting Shiro's shoulder as a silent thanks  
"You did good Lance. You should be proud. Telling everyone is never an easy thing, even when you know we will all be here to support both you and Keith"  
"Thanks Shiro... and thanks for checking on us"

Rising from the floor to the bed, Keith rubbed his face as Shiro sank down next to him  
"Are you alright?"  
"Me? Why wouldn't I be?"  
"I don't know. Maybe because Lance told the team you were dating?"  
"It wasn't like you all didn't already know"  
"Knowing and saying are two different things. I did try to cover for the both of you as much a I could"  
"I figured as much. But I'm ok, just worried about Lance. Pidge laughing really didn't help"  
"I noticed. He seemed pretty happy when you two walked in"  
"He was. He really hates the hospital"  
"Did you talk to them? Or did you just take him?"  
"He's going into heat. I can smell it on him, and I can feel something happening in response, not that I've told him that. He'd worry about it"  
"So it's finally time"  
"Yeah. I've got our camp set up, and both of our Bayards and uniforms are in Black, in case something goes wrong"  
"Are you nervous?"  
"I'm terrified. I want this to be special for him, and I don't want to hurt him by accident. Then there's this Galra thing. We've been lucky they've held off for so long"  
"If they attack..."  
"I don't know if Lance and I will be up for fighting..."  
"You might not have a choice"  
"I know that... but you can't come to us. No matter what. I don't want to risk hurting or scaring one of the team"  
"Do you think it's likely?"  
"The other me would do anything to protect Lance, so I can't confidently say no"  
A silence fell between them, both thinking of the implications of his words and the possible disaster of a Galra attack. Several long doboshes passed before Keith groaned  
"I still can't believe everyone knows now"  
"Are you mad?"  
"No. Just... I'm proud of him and I can't get it out of my head"  
"I'll do everything I can to keep things running smoothly here"  
"I know you will. I know it's earlier than I planned, but we might leave once Lance gets out the shower. I want to spend some time with him before his heat"  
"I think we can manage"  
"I really hope so. Is there anything major I should know about those two Galra ships?"  
"No. They both belonged to commanders pretty low in the food chain, but with Sendak out there, it's possible he'll react with over kill"  
"We beat him once, and he's no where near Zarkon or Lotor's levels. I think the person we really needed to be worried about is Haggar. We killed we husband and her son"  
"She has appalling taste in men"  
"She does... but they were her family and I know I would do anything to protect mine"  
"You already think of Lance as family?"  
"You don't need to be so surprised, but I think of everyone on the team as family and I refuse to let my family be hurt"  
"You've come a long way. I'm proud of you"  
"Thanks, man. I'm pretty proud of you too"  
Shiro playfully bumped his shoulder against his  
"Speaking of family, should we be expecting a baby Paladin?"  
"No. Since mum said it was safe to use contraceptives, Lance talked with his doctor over it. They've given him an injection which should prevent him falling pregnant"  
His tone soured slightly. His other side hadn't been impressed at all. He wanted to breed Lance. He wanted Lance swollen and filled with their child, even if it wasn't something he'd ever thought about, his other side desperately wanted their partner to fall pregnant. Though Keith logically knew it was way too soon to be even thinking about kids  
"Just remember me when the time does come"  
"You want us to name our first born after you?"  
"Shiro isn't a bad name"  
Bumping his own shoulder against Shiro's, Keith smiled   
"When the time does come, or if it ever comes, we'll think about it. That's the best I can offer, though I have no idea how his pregnancy would work"  
"Do you need "the talk"?"  
"No. Both Lance and I have heard it more than once from mum"  
"Alright. I guess I'll leave you to get ready. If anything happens, I want you to call"  
"I will. Thanks, Shiro"  
"Anytime, little bro"

 

*  
When Lance was finished in the shower and ready to leave, his boyfriend came and found him. The smell pouring off Lance told him his heat was coming much faster than expected, so it was good thing they were leaving soon. Double checking everything was in place, Keith lead Lance to Black, finding himself unable to meet his partners eyes without his cheeks burning. He was so incredibly lucky to have Lance, and it wasn't like he was seeing Lance in a whole new light, but he did feel like he was feeling for him all over again. 

Given they were only heading to the other side of Olkarion, the trip only too a couple of doboshes, Lance gasping the moment Black had landed and his eyes fell on their camp  
"I would ask you if you like it, but I can see you do"  
"Did you do all of this?"  
"Yeah... I... I wanted this to be special"  
Unexpectedly Lance burst into tears, his hold on Keith tightening as he rested his forehead against Keith's   
"Thank you... it looks perfect"  
"You don't need to cry"  
"I do. I don't deserve all of this, but you take such good care of me, and now I'm crying, I can't stop"  
"You do deserve this. You deserve this and so much more. Do you want to go take a proper look?"  
"Yeah... Keith, seriously. This is amazing. I was worried we'd even up spending my heat in headquarters or something, but this is like magical... I couldn't have imagined something like this"  
"I bet you could have, you just didn't feel confident to ask for it"  
"M-maybe... I didn't want to burden you"  
"This is as much for your happiness as it is mine"  
Rising to his feet with Lance safely in his arms, Black lowered her ramp for them so he could carry Lance down and into the camp, not even thinking as he headed straight for the bed, where he laid Lance down and moved to straddle his lap  
"Keith, I'm not in heat yet"  
"I know. But before we both go a little crazy, I thought we could enjoy ourselves as us"  
The look of pure love on Lance's face had Keith surging forward to capture his boyfriends lips. His hands sliding under Lance's jacket, as Lance's arms wrapped around him. If the world ended right now, he couldn't care less. He could feel the love and desire in each of Lance's sweet kiss, his earlier nervousness ebbing away into a desperate feeling of need. He needed to protect Lance. He needed to keep him safe and he needed to claim him as his. As his hands slid up, Lance's shirt bunching around his wrists, his boyfriend leant up, letting Keith slowly slip the thin fabric up until they finally had to break their kiss for two ticks too long. Smiling at him shyly, Lance kissed him again, much deeper this time, his boyfriends hands now moving to strip Keith's own shirt off. The bundled fabric then thrown across the space, before Lance moaned into his mouth. With their chests pressed against each other, Keith could feel Lance's heat and the steady galloping of his heart, all adding to the overwhelming emotions that threatened to send him into tears. He was truly the luckiest person in the whole universe.

When their kiss broke again, Lance gently guided Keith back so he could undo his pants, Keith doing the same. It wasn't hurried, but it was slightly clumsy, both of their aching erection tenting the fabric, and making it hard to get the buttons undone. Lance had the better position, able to get his pants undone before swatting Keith's hands away and undoing his, again giving them that same shy smile. Could he be any more beautiful? With shaking hands, Keith pushed his pants down, freeing his erection with slight groan of relief, while Lance blushed brilliantly and his scent hitched up another level. Once free of his pants completely, he stripped Lance's off, his boyfriend covering his face to his hide blush   
"You're beautiful"  
Peaking through his fingers, Keith took Lance's left hand, forcing him to look as he raised it to his chest, pressing it over his heart   
"You mean the world to me, and you're the only one I ever want to be with"  
Letting out a squeak, Keith hummed in response. It was too soon to tell Lance that he was sure he'd passed "like" into "love" before they'd even started dating, so he forced himself not to usher the words. But he did love him. With Lance's hand still over his heart, Keith leaned down to kiss Lance again  
"Can I touch you?"  
Sliding his hand down to his mouth, Lance nodded quickly  
"You have no idea how gorgeous you look beneath me like this... you're the kindest and most beautiful soul I know"  
Perhaps it was his alpha side giving voice to his thoughts, but he meant it, and was determined to make Lance feel it. With slow kisses to neck, Keith began to work his way down. His tongue rolling the buds of Lance's small nipples to stiff peaks, as his boyfriend moaned into his hand. That wouldn't do. Reaching up, he pulled Lance's hand from his mouth   
"You don't need to hide it. I want to hear you"  
"It's embarrassing"  
"Lance, its the two of us. There's no one else around, so let me hear you as I make you feel good"  
Nodding stiffly, Lance dropped his head back down and Keith continued, moving from his nipples to mouth as his chest, sucking small possessive hickeys as he went.

After marking both Lance's hips, Keith smiled down at the sight of Lance's weeping erection, pre-cum having pooled in the soft slathering of chocolate coloured pubes. The smell of Lance's natural musk mixed with the sweetness of his leaking slick, making Keith moan. He wanted to devour Lance right now. He wanted to take him, but he also wanted to taste him. Grasping the root of Lance's erection, he lapped at the slit, immediately causing Lance to arch his back off the bed, while moaning his name sweetly. The taste of salt covered Keith's tongue in a way that made him want more, yet he wasn't sure exactly what he was supposed to do, and settled for licking and lapping every bit of precum up that he could, before finally sliding his lips around Lance's taunt and silky shaft. With careful mind over biting, Keith hollowed his cheeks, using his saliva as a natural lubricant while cautiously bobbing his head  
"Fuuuuck... Keith..."  
Lance's moan filled him pride, giving him the confident to grow bolder and faster, which soon turned into Lance openly rocking into his mouth while babbling incoherently in Spanish, not even able to warn Keith before came in thick pulses. Hungrily, he drank it down, trying to suck every last drop before realising his hold on Lance's hips and pulling off with a wet pop. Smirking at his flushed boyfriend, Lance's chest was heaving as he licked his lips, his fringe clung to his forehead which was wet with sweat. It was his eyes that truly caught Keith, he wasn't able to move from their lust blown gaze  
"Wow..."  
"That was pretty wow"  
Licking his lips, Lance nodded reaching to pull him back up to him and not caring about tasting himself on Keith's lips and tongue as he kissed him deeply. Everything felt so right. Sharing these deep losses, Keith's arousal was trapped between them, the alpha attempting to gain any kind of friction to ease throbbing. When Lance broke their kiss, his boyfriend spread his legs further as he whispered in his ear  
"I'm ready"  
"Are you sure?"  
"I've never wanted anything more than I want you right now"  
"I don't want to hurt you"  
"You won't... I trust you"  
Nodding, Keith's lips found Lance's again as he slipped a hand between them, his fingers sliding down to tease Lance's soaked opening. The effect instant. Lance threw his head back with a long moan, his hips moving to grind against Keith's hand as his fingertips sank into wet heat  
"Fuck, Lance. You're so wet for me"  
"Only for you. Please, Keith"  
Still not wanting to his Lance, Keith pulled back from his hold, vaguely remembering he needed to make sure was stretched enough to prevent tearing. Watching his fingers sliding in and out of his boyfriend was just as arousing as sucking him off has been. The wet squelch of the slick and the needy whines coming from Lance nearly made him want to bring his lover to orgasm with his fingers alone, but the throbbing need he was feeling was turning to torture, his dick an angry red as bowed heavily towards his stomach  
"Lance?"  
"I'm ready"

Sinking to Lance, both of them moaned. Being so completely wet, Keith was able to push in one slow movement, drawing out so much pleasure he nearly came before he bottomed out against his lover. So this was sex... around him Lance was rippling and pulsing, as if trying to draw him deeper inside the space that had formed purely for him. Giving Lance a moment to adjust, he brushed Lance's hair back from his face, while his left thumb rubbed firm circles on Lance's left hip. When Lance nodded, Keith drew back just as slowly, before snapping his hips forward, Lance crying out in pleasure beneath him. God. It felt like he was melting. He couldn't think of anything other than Lance and hearing that moan again. Rolling his hips, Keith found his rhythm, while Lance revelled in pleasure, gone was the soft moans and mews, instead his lips remained parted as sharply panted moans and his name fell from between them. Between his own legs, Keith felt his erection throbbing, growing bigger as his knot started to swell. Lance threw his head back, his body almost convulsing as he came, his semen splattering hard against Keith's lower abdomen as his erection swelled until breaking point and his release finally hit. The urge to continue filled him, yet he was caught firmly inside Lance, something catching against the walls of his lovers as seed painted the inside of Lance white. He'd never cum that hard, or for so long. Beneath him Lance was shaking, so Keith pulled him up, seating Lance in his lap as small bursts of cum leaked between them. Limp in his hold, Keith wrapped his arms around Lance. One hand resting on his lower back as the other was buried in Lance's hair, holding him close as he purred softly. Filled with affection, Keith peppered kisses to Lance's shoulder and neck, his words an incoherent mess as he tried to praise his omega, and tried to thank him for being with him. No matter what happened. 

He was never going to let him go.

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetad and unedited


End file.
